**TAMOXIFEN 29**

[MaryAnnSingleton]

crikey !

Thank goodness, indeed!

It does take a long time until you feel OK about yourself again - physically and mentally. It's been nearly three years since I finished treatment and I'm still letting go of some of the mental stuff. I know I'm lucky that I CAN start to let it go.

On the weight front, I think it is going but I have never found it so hard, ever. I am losing ounces per week so it's a long slog.

DH (on Saturday) - It's really working, you are looking slim
Me - I'm not looking slim
DH - Well you're starting to get there. But that didn't sound like a very supportive thing to say.

at your DH, Sometimes.

@ sometimes and gig's dhs

Hair is cropped short - and colour seems to be still there, which is good - its looking slightly redder if anything which I like.

Sometimes - those photos are fab - very moving, and joyous. I would love to be at that place where I am content with my body, - don't know if I'll ever get there.

My DH doesn't help - I had a letter from the plastic surgery dept. today cancelling my Jan appointment and moving it to Feb.

-DH's reaction 'Did they weigh you at your onc appointment last week'

Me 'no why?'

DH 'I thought they must have weighed you and decide you needed more time to lose the weight for your op'

Thanks DH, - yes I'm sure the word shot round the hospital like a forest fire, 'That enormous bloater's never going to make the deadline, we have to act quickly'

Git.

Just needed to rant ( I'm feeling very upset - sorry - but he can be spectacularly unhelpful at times)

Gig good luck with your appointment today - will be thinking of you. I like your DH's style with old nanny

Sorry kurri that has made me laugh .

Bet mad nanny wasn't impressed with your DH gigs. Hope appointment has gone well.

sometimes lovely link.

Spoke to radiographer about shoulder (wasn't the usual girl). She told me it is normal and to do the exercises I was given after my op. So off to hunt out the exercise sheet although I think I dumped it. Gorgeous day here today.

Waves to everyone.

Sorry KK, it made me laugh too But I am sorry you are upset about them moving the date - it has been such a long time coming. I bet the overpaid surgeon has booked a skiing holiday or something so needs to reschedule a load of work. But you'll get there - hang on in.... x

And at least he/she'll be rested after their holiday which is always good when you are going to be under their knife

Oh kurri that's what I get for reading quickly posting and running. (I should really make sure I have read the whole post without replying) I am sorry you are so upset and I hope I didn't add insult to injury with my insensitivity. Sometimes DH say things without putting their brain in gear (bit like myself).

Oh and thank you sometimes for the advice re: shoulder. I will give that a try.

oh kk -so sorry you're upset...I expect glamourous surgeon lady has something booked which is why she can't see you then- our dentist is always cancelling appointments because he's on hols. Glad you are pleased with hair.

It's OK, - I don't mind you laughing , - I don't mind them moving the date, - it was DH's remark that got me stomping about

I told him that if he upsets me by making rude remarks, it makes me go and eat huge slices of cake, so it will be HIS FAULT if I don't lose the weight. (He said he knew it would be his fault whatever happened )

It is very foggy here today (or as Fab's DS would say, there is a tremendous fog ) - people still driving like maniacs on the roads though.

Oh kurri tactless dh but hair sounds nice.

Appt done- good news as scan shows more improvement . Also showed that my leg/bum inflamed (no shit) so am having MRI. Onc examined and is pretty sure it's muscular damage from rads but wants to check. So although not complete comfort at least am getting treatment and help and tbh when not paranoid, it doesn't feel like original lump.

Definitely tonight as was so nervous was sick at lunchtime

Gigs, hurrah, I think re {more improvement but combined with inflamed bits}. You need for sure, yup.
When's MRI?

KK, re your stuff though I shouldn't really DHs can say grr things.

Gig - more improvement is excellent news, and good that they are doing something about the leg pain. Hope you are OK - horrid when stress makes you sick, poor you.

- my DH is not well known for his tact, but hi heart's in the right place, - he thinks he's being helpful

yay for improvement gig -def. wine and fbs for you xxxxx

Great news about improvement gigs and good that onc being thorough. Hope you don't have to wait too long for MRI.

Gig, I'm glad to hear your appointment went well and that there was an improvement - yay!

Phew and hooray for Gig. That's great news!! Hope you're zonked out after lovely wine.

Kurri, men are useless. I'm glad you gave him a hard time. Not that he'll learn. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you though (ah!).

Gracie, glad they reassured you. Those exercises are dull, but definitely help.

Elastic band seems to be broken on my broadband. A very enthusiastic Welsh man told me when I called, that it wasn't anything he could help me with. When I pointed out that I was calling the help line, he thought that was v.funny..

Still, working atm. Night all. x

lost my earlier post :(
was just saying thanks to sometimes for the link, yea for gig and hope ms paranoia is put to sleep by the mri.
time for a working from home today, its safer!

and I said good morning, and that I was going to put a vat of porridge on!

Urgh, just typed a message and it didn't post'

Sorry that I haven't been around for a while but I've had one of those weeks. Ds just missed assign the eleven plus, and finished my radiotherapy. Also, had a genetics discussion, and gave blood for gene testing, and a trial. It was a roller coaster week.

I've read a few pages, so sorry if if I missed some of your news.

Fab - well done on being slim.
Kurri - hope your man has learnt some tact
gig - hope you are feeling okay

Sorry if I have missed anyone out

Have a good day everyone.

Smee and [grr] about your broken elastic band and bizarre unhelpful-line. Did you stop working eventually??
Invicta, hurrah re the finish of rads!!! How are you feeling?
MAS, how are you at the mo?
Morning everyone else. Porridge, did you say, jchoc?

Amber light - I generally feel fine during the day, but find at night I'm wanting to go to bed earlier than normal. My boob has been very itchy this weekend which has been driving me mad. My husband says I'm more short tempered, although I blame that on pmt! Last week, the waiting-for-results was far more stressful then the radiotherapy. It's a shame it all fell in the same week. We had a chinese to celebrate the end of the treatment, but now we have the decesion about choosing secondary schools. I don't really like any of the non grammars which doesn't help, although ds and dh is okay with local one, and wants to appeal in march for GS.

Sorry - didn't expect to write such a long post.

Ps. Forgot to add, just started tamoxifen. No hot flushes yet.

Invicta, yippee for the end of rads. How brilliant you've reached the end. School stress isn't good. Hope DS is okay. I know how much pressure some kids put on themselves over GS. I'm mighty glad we don't have that system here. Good luck with the Tamoxifen. I did the genetic testing. I have a gene anomaly apparently, but though it's been mentioned in relation to BC, it's not one of the recognised ones. All v.interesting though.

Gig are you hungover?

Jane, are your bruises extraordinary or not too bad. Working from home sounds sensible!

Here DS is off school with a mini-bug of some sort. He was awake several times in the night with stomach ache, so is wiped out. Mind you we just had a lovely breakfast together reading and drawing, so there's clearly not a lot wrong. I have acres of work still, so he's on the sofa. Broadband seems to be working. Yay!

Hope everyone's okay today. Where's Topsy? She's mighty quiet. ARE YOU OKAY TOPSY??

God I wish I was but mini gig decided not to go to bed til 10 so wine time very limited .

Also man flu plus anaemia (I turned down kind offer if more blood transfusion unless absolutely needed) means am in need of

Did I mention that I am off to french france on Friday? That will get topsy out to hide in suitcase

Sorry to hear about school stress and sympathy for all those itching and tired from rads.
And thanks for all nice thoughts- I am not too worried about leg as even if it is more nasties at least they are on case (seems unlikely given its been radiotherapied and chemo'ed and reading those with stiff shoulders , I think it is my version of that).

amber love hair in new fb pic.

Yay to Gig for comforting scans, and Invicta for the end of rads!!!

And to Smee for functioning broadband

We had dd's parents evening yesterday, it was very sweet. And then I did a stint manning the Book Fair with a woman who is always very nice but is a total stealth boaster. And a lot of others came through the Book Fair too, shouting loud comments like 'Yes, darling of course you can have a book you deserve it you are SOOOOOOO clever, well done YOU, I LOVE your poem, fancy it being put on the WALL!!!!!!!!' For 3 year olds - fine. For bigger kids - no, it's not encouragement, especially not at that volume