23rd **TAMOXIFEN** thread

[MaryAnnSingleton]

oh my !

gracie you are a saint

I love this song and she is ruining it.

spent the evening flicking between different channels to find the best simultaneous translations from French and dh looking out for Ségolène Royal..
safe journey home gig - agree that coping is good.
Have been asked to do a civil partnership card to arrive in time for the big day on Thursday,which means starting now -eek.

Morning all! Jolly excitable bunch, the french. We stayed up 'till midnight watching tv of them partying in the streets. Lets hope the new president delivers what he has promised! Hot here, going out now for a run while my cousin goes to work. There is plenty of shade in the 'forest' and a cafe. :)

have a lovely day jane -keep posting food pictures

Message from Ned - she is in hospital with a nasty infection poor love and can;t access mumsnet - she sends her love and that she's here in spirit.
Safe journey home gig - are they still celebrating in Paris ?

Ooo hope Ned feels hugely better soon - send her our love? Eek re the deadline for the card, MAS

Well I get no bonus points and a lack of gold stars. What have you all been telling me? Was it "Don't overdo things Amber"? So what did I do at the weekend? And did I collapse on Saturday night in exhaustion and total panic attack after working two 14 hr shifts at the disability spiritual conference event thingy? Yes I did. There's a lesson in there somewhere, isn't there.

oh amber - honestly, you overdo it - we need to be there to restrain you. How are you feeling now ?

Sending best wishes to Ned - hope you're soon feeling much better and can be allowed home soon.

Amber - there's no wonder you're exhausted! Perhaps you can spend today resting, or is that a daft suggestion?!

Amber naughty girl ! Is the duct tape needed ???

Ned gentle hugs , hope all is ok ?

Morning All
Hope you are not too hungover or partied out after the French election results !

My DC are still in the land of nod . I have only been up half an hour .
DH has been up since 6.30am !
He just cannot sleep in .
Still , it gave him a few hours of total control of the tv remote

Rainy here so far , don't think a trip to the seaside with a picnic will be happening today .

Ran out of heating oil last night . Just totally forgot to check the gauge .
Of course the oil supply company isn't open today , so it's going to be extra jumpers for a couple of days till we get a delivery

though a couple of layers of duct tape>

Eek about ned - hope the infectionis under control soon and she can escape soon.

Glad to hear you have been taped, amber. Try to take it easy today.

Topsy pity about the lack of heat, could you use it as an excuse to stay in bed with hot water bottles? ;)

The maid is cooking something that smells scrummy, cousin will be in France next year as she passed her exam and has to do a probationary year - and she will have to cook for herself! Has to find her placement, somewhere to live and a school for her son pdq, so I'm amusing myself. May take a train to Casablanca one day, and look at the sights.

The forecast is far too hot later in the week though, so I may just hide inside!

Am trying to stay off the fbs so time for a

Ned hope you are feeling better soon and get back home.

amber hope you are suitably duct taped and have a restful day.

topsy argh no heating oil is not good, its blooming freezing today. Does your local garage not have the emergency heating oil drum? It is expensive but might be worth it to save your sanity.

jchoc its like a winter's day here, howling wind, pelting rain and cold. Any chance you could send some heat over?

DD brought me her half finished bowl of cereal this morning which DH promptly devoured, then DD comes back in and says 'mum sorry didn't finish cereal, the dog licked my milk'

watching 'toute une histoire' a sort of civilised jeremy kyle... The guests are articulate and don't hit each other

@ cereal gracie !!
quick lunch out with dh at Caffe Nero as ds was out with aunt and cousin..nice- we shared a brownie and a caramel biscuit slice -yum.Must get on with work.

Hello all, - really sorry to hear about Ned - poor girl, I home she's home soon.

MAS -short notice for the card, but am sure you will make a beautiful job of it as always.

Amber - I have a sort of cage thingy for my dog, so she settles down and sleeps quietly in the car - I may have to pop you in it if you don't TAKE IT EASY! (I'll feed you FBS through the bars though)

gracie arf @ 'dog licked my milk'

topsy - hope you get some oil soon, - we're always running out at awkward times too (either that or our boiler won't work), I think I'd rather be on gas, but you can't get it where I live.

Backforgood - hello, nice to see you - I think you'll find that I am your bestest friend, not topsy

1Step - hope you are having a good weekend.

Jane - your holiday sounds fabulous, you lucky old thing

Smee - hope your stomach is a bit more settled today, - AB's always have that effect on me too, but probio yogs are good. Hope you aren't feeling too sore and everything is healing up well.

Gig - are you on your way home today, or staying a bit longer? - hope you are OK, you're very much in my thoughts xx

I drove to Lowestoft today, to have a coffee with DS and DDil, - about 40 miles each way, so I'm feeling a bit tired - it's just because I have to concentrate so hard! But it was good to see them.

Wet and cold here. DH has made a batch of Tablet (scottish sweetie a bit like fudge - made with sugar butter and condensed milk ) it is very yummy and about 16,000 calories per square - I am trying to be very restrained, so am putting quite a lot of it on the trolley.

Back now. I am so sorry about Nedand hope she is home soon. Amber I hope you too are taking it easy and not busting out of the duct tape.

You are all right it's freezing here so sorry for those with no oil topsy.

I am not in a good way at all -dog tired, scared and miserable and feeling pretty hopeless. Treatment again tomorrow and also dh saying onc with me. Tbh I am sort of at my wits end- I will keep on going for the kids am dh but I don't have any hope at all. Just feel had treatment and got this far and it is still going wrong. What is going to happen next as I can't take anymore.

I don't like to post like this but have to have an outlet somewhere and I feel it's unfair as so many of you have so much going on .

Oh darling, - I don't know what to say, I wish I could just gather you up in my arms
It is very early days sweetheart, and you are still in the early period of shock, just try to get through an hour at a time, a day at a time.

I know you must feel hopeless - it is a dreadful, shitty unfair thing that has happened to you, and you will feel scared angry and bewildered at the moment.

But they wouldn't offer you treatment if they didn't think it was going to have some effect, and once you get started on it, and you can feel as if this thing is under control, you might feel a little better.

Please tell your onc. how you are feeling, they might be able to suggest something to help you get through this totally natural depression you are feeling now.

Don't worry about posting your feelings, that is what this thread is for, -and we all want to be there for you. If writing it down helps, then you do that whenever you want. xxxx

Thanks kurri - hugs are good.
I just can't stop crying now and think straight. I know that you are probably right but I don't believe anything will work now and I am not I trust / have any faith in any of it. This makes me feel worse as I feel like my attitude then contributes( and haven't felt like this until a few days ago).

I know I probably need some kind of help with anti d as have had some pretty grim thoughts (I have had bad times before but not felt like this). I feel so guilty as well for putting my family through this.

Gig ((((((((((hugs))))))))))
Deep breath and hold on till you speak to your onc again .
When are you meeting next ?

Tomorrow afternoon

Gig, hugs aplenty from me too.
Vitamin D. Try it. It slows cancer down hugely and often boosts mood too.
And yes, tell your onc and bcn all you're feeling. Never ever worry about telling us too...heck we know what it's like to walk alongside this thing...

Oh Gigs Sorry to hear you are so down and going through such a difficult time. Will be praying for you tonight (hopes that's OK?). Of course you must write what you want on here. that's what the thread is for - to be able to let it all out when needed.

dearest gig very big hugs for you- it is all still very early days for you and I think that's why it seems such an insurmountable thing right now, but the treatment is going to help you and I reckon once the chemotherapy is sorted and you begin you will feel that you are making progress and moving forward.Remember that you have only recently given birth and that shuffles everything around emotionally anyway -all these things will be really affecting how you feel (sorry- am probably stating the bleeding obvious here) Definitely tell onc and bcn about how you feel and I do think that antidepressants are incredibly helpful in just taking the edges off anxiety -anything that helps is good. Please remember how our own RWU has come through a very dire prognosis and hang on to that.

topsy am sorry that there's no oil- hope you aren't feeling too chilly.
KK excellent driving - the more practice the better I think- I learned when I was 24 ish and I had an adorable boyfriend who would come up to London and then sit with me in the beetle I shared with my brother as I drove him back to Essex -he made me drive right through central London,through the city and out to the East End and off to Loughton. The beetle was so flimsy in the front that we weighed it down with a chunk of concrete.

Right Gig , in less than 24 hours you will have a plan . Keep that to the front of your brain .
It probably won't make the waiting time any easier , but if you think about all this in brief periods of time rather than long term , it is slightly easier .
I NEVER think past what treatment I am having this week .

Are you sleeping or eating ?
I didn't . That's why my GP gave me a script for anti ds and sleeping tabs . I never used the sleeping tabs , but strangely I felt better knowing they were there if I needed them .

Keep posting here , you are not bringing anyone down xxx

yes,goodness-do keep posting and feel free to say whatever you like-that's the point of this thread really.

Gig if it is even the tiniest comfort, having a negative attitude won't make any difference to the physical outcome so please don't beat yourself up about that. Of course it's helpful to feel reasonably positive but that is simply because it improves your quality of life. Big hugs, I'm thinking of you xx