23rd **TAMOXIFEN** thread

[MaryAnnSingleton]

oh my !

Gig - so sorry you are feeling so down. For what it's worth I think your feelings and emotions are all perfectly normal, not that it makes them any easier to deal with I know. I think it's important to be open with your onc tomorrow, there's no reward for putting a brave face on. I'm thinking of you and hope you will feel a bit better tomorrow when you know more about your action plan.

Gig this is the place to let it all out. Maybe acknowledging how crap you are feeling is a step towards finding ways to improve things. We are all rooting for you with big hugs and +ve thoughts for tomorrow.

Maybe time for a virtual ? or Terrys chocolate orange? ...

gigs I really don't know what to say. Prayers and positive thoughts winging their way to you. I really hope once you know your treatment plan you will feel a little calmer. I really don't think they would treat you if they didn't think it would work or make a difference. I will be thinking of you tomorrow.

Heck I've only been away a day, and look there's all sorts going on.

Gig, huge hugs from me too. You poor thing. D'you know if you weren't crying, or admitting it, we wouldn't believe you anyway. Topsy's wise I reckon - one step at a time. Get a plan for what's next and try and trust the chemo to blast the hell out of it. They wouldn't be considering it if there wasn't hope, so somehow you need to let that thought in. And don't you dare apologise. We're here for you no matter what xxx

Poor Ned in hospital - infection sounds grim. If you're reading now, I hope your DS is okay with you being in hospital. Only consolation is it shows the Tax is having an effect. I'd bet they'll reduce your dose next time and you'll be fine. It's not called the Tax Truck for nothing. You take care now xx

Amber rest Honestly, what are you like?!

Topsy, bugger about the heating and no picnic too. G'ah to this weather. I want that blue sky stuff back again.

at Gracie's DD.

MAS, hope you didn't work all day.

to Kurri for epic driving.

I've had a joyous waste if a bank holiday returning to hospital. Totally trivial, but my lovely drain was playing up. Vacuum wouldn't hold, so nothing draining, lots of swelling, all mmm.... Zonked out now.

That's not trivial that is annoying- I became paranoid about seal on my drain when dragging it around. And no one wants one of those vacuum pump things . How are you sleeping with it. I propped myself up in bed then made a nest for drain by bed so it wouldn't fall over z

Thank you so much for all the virtual support. I will try and be brave - I have picked myself off the floor to eat something so that is a start. My mum was on phone being relentlessly positive which is lovely but

And amber I took some vitamin d.

And I can't remember who said It but it does mean a lot to know that being down wont hurt me- it was like you read my mind.

Hope you all enjoying a rather cold bh evening

Gig, maybe you shouldn't be brave for a bit. Eating essential, but being brave not so much for now. Give yourself a break. It's a heck of a thing to take in.

Drain sits on a cushion on chair right next to bed. Chair wedges me in and means I can't wander to the bathroom in the night and forget it..

You are prob right should give in to it. re forgetting about drain- how long is it in for?

What I need is someone in aibu sellotaping the cot or similar

Gig I think Smee has hit the nail on the head !
You really don't have to be brave .
In fact I take issue with all this "brave women fighting cancer" crap !
If all it took was too be brave and to fight , we'd all be bloody cured !

Oh and I used to keep catching the tube of my drain on door handles .
Handy tip - wear a cardy or similar over the outside of any tubing !

eek at catching drain on door handles !
yes,the brave bit and fighting is such crap- just allow yourself to feel whatever it is,if that makes sense. And eat. Even if it's only chocolate.
Had nice evening with aunt and cousin- dh made shepherd's pie. Did my bit of work- will finish it tomorrow.

I have done the door handle thing - definitely eek.. Drain's are horrible, but helps.

Just popping on to see how everyone is doing before I go to bed.

Hello TheNightisYoung nice to see you again.

Hope the pesky drain is sorted now Smee, - how much longer will it be in - do you know? - And ouch to catching yours on a door topsy, that sounds very painful.

Gig I hope you are in bed and managing to get a bit of sleep now (and therefore by that logic not reading this )

Don't worry about all that being brave and positive tosh, - feeling down won't make the slightest difference to you physically, in fact I personally think it's better not to put a brave face on things if you feel very low, - having a good cry can be far more therapeutic.

We'll all be thinking of you tomorrow xx

thinking of you today gig
Anyone having treatment today ?
and ned hope you are doing ok.

Morning All

Positive thoughts for all those with appointments today .
Hope everything goes smoothly .

Gig how was your night ? Did you sleep any better at home in your own bed ?

Ned I hope you are ok and that you get sprung from hospital soon .

What are the plans for today ?
Im meeting a new friend for coffee today , so that should be nice .
I'm also phoning for oil !
We haven't suffered though as DH managed to dig out a few old blow heaters !

DD has decided that today must be a skipping day .
I am counting down the minutes till its school time ...

Morning all
:) at mini topsy's skipping day! I first read it to mean she was skipping school, but I guess it is more bouncy than that.
Lazy day today, going to do some mid holiday washing this morning and maybe a swim this pm.
Hope the appointments go well today, and that ned is feeling better.

Thanks for asking . Am sleeping a Bit better- managed to sleep til about 3 am.
Waiting for rads appt - onc this pm. Still feel grim - sick numb tired hopeless .

at skipping day. J sounds like you are having a lovely time.
ned hope you are out of hospital today.

Hope everyone else has a good day.

gig-I hope they have a kick-arse plan of action for you this afternoon.Surely you might feel a bit more positive when you are attacking it back! I do hope so,I will be thinking of you.

Smee- hope the drain is behaving and the rest of your recovery goes smoothly.
Hope ned feels better soon.
Welcome to snoopy and paddy.

waving to everyone else

I have just scanned quickly what i have missed over the weekend, and want to just offer my support, positive vibes and a hug to Gig.

Don't try to be brave with us. it isn't bringing anyone here down, and it will help you to express it. Tell the onc everything you are feeling when you go in today. They'll have heard it before and have A Plan. This isn't a path you have to walk alone, it really isn't. xx

Lol , I really should proof read before I hit post !
Yes , skipping with a rope !

hope weekend was nice sometimes

Ridiculous I know,but am anxting about going out to lunch next Sunday at old school friend's house (her and her dh,other friend and her dh) - just a feeling of nervousness and hoping it might be cancelled,although I do want to go and am sure it'll be great, wah ! sorry,this is a bit of a pathetic thing to fret about in the scheme of things,especially as other are having a really rough time. It helps if I confess to things here.
Off to post office with packages of work, gig yours will be on it's way too- really hope it will make you smile.

Hello all, welcome back Sometimes - I hope you had a nice break, and Bournemouth managed some good weather for you.

Gig - lots of good thoughts for your onc. appointment, tell them how you feel, don't worry if you break down or cry, - they are there to help you, and come up with a plan to deal with this thing physically and emotionally.

Smee - hope you are comfortable today, and drain is behaving.

Hope the oil comes soon topsy, - wonder if mini topsy is still skipping at school?

waving to l4k - hope you had a good weekend, how is MIL doing?

MAS - try not to fret about the lunch, - are DH and DS going with you? - is it very far away, or will there be people there you don't know? - If there's a few people there, you won't be expected to make constant conversation - I bet there'll be at least one very chatty person, there always is and you can just listen and enjoy your dinner

Love to Ned - hope you are released soon, and are feeling better.

jane - all I can say is -

Cold and miserable here, DH has day off, so we may venture out later. I'm still trying to get some of the highway code to go into my brain. aaaaaaargh.

love to all.

dh coming too - these are friends I was at primary school with- we meet up every so often - not sure why I'm feeling so nervy- it's in London so we thought we'd go by train,rather than drive and have parking probs (all residents only etc)I think anything out of routine is nerve making.

Mas it's natural to feel nervous , but do go and give them a chance !
I went to meet Gracie for coffee this morning for the first time - and she was relatively normal

Oh - so glad you and gracie have got together topsy, that's lovely (also of course a big relief to know she's relatively normal - we were all a bit worried ) ---- I wonder what she'll say about you?

MAS I know these things are hard for you, but I'm sure once you are there you will have a lovely time. xx

I think she will tell you all how witty and beautiful I am kk ...