21st TAMOXIFEN !!

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are- how did that happen ?

Evening all - thanks for tea and sympathy - sorry about my miserable post earlier. I have slept for several hours this afternoon but I do feel more human now.

I think that typically I interpreted feeling a little bit better yesterday, as a licence to knock myself out with gardening, room rearranging etc etc. DD kept saying 'take it easy' but do I listen? - I'm a fool.

amber - I'm glad you feel more settled, last week was a hectic one for you, and emotionally draining too I imagine. You hardly had time to think - but I'm pleased you've been able to think it through now, and feel calmer

waving to Smee and Mas, and 1in8, hope you had a nice lunch topsy, and the flood is easing Gig and you all enjoyed the sunshine.

Hello Autumn - sorry I missed you earlier - brain not engaged - hope you are feeling OK atm. Enjoying the sunshine with the DC and forgetting the nonsense sounds like a good move to me.

Ooh Kurri, you're putting me to shame. You feel lousy for proper reasons (not self inflicted!), yet you're still posting lovely thoughts to those in need. Hope you wake tomorrow feeling a whole lot better. Must be so infuriating being so all over the place.

Glad you managed a nap today ripvanwinkle kk , bet you feel better for that .

I have decided that it might be time for my first post hair growing back after chemo haircut !
The back of it is starting to grow into a mullet , and I have bigger side burns than a 1970s footballer
It's also developing some alarming kinks and waves . Can't wait for the top of it gets long enough to run the straighteners through !

Major dilemma this evening .
Upstairs Downstairs or Titanic ?
Read one review in the paper today that referred to Titanic as Drownton Abbey

Aww - thank you Smee , it is infuriating - because I can't plan activities, just feeling a bit sorry for myself today, and a bit tearful.
I'll be fine by tomorrow. It's just fatigue really - definitely nothing to compare with people who are going through chemo/rads/hercept and other stuff. I feel guilty for moaning, but DH is looking a bit fed up with me - I think he finds it hard to understand, and frustrating that I don't feel consistantly better. Hey ho.

Tomorrow is a another day and all that Gone With the Wind shit

Hope the hangover is clearing, - sounds like a fun night - I find it takes a lot less to make me hungover these days - old age I think

X posted topsy. Ha @Drownton abbey I was going to watch Titanic, but the TV in my bedroom has just broken down, and I can't be bothered to go through to the other room. I think I'll watch last weeks Midsummer murders on iplayer instead.

Hair sounds excellent, although I think maybe you are right to ditch the mullet

Drownton Abbey.

Topsy, mine was like a dodgy Football Manager's perm for a while. Still, hair's good even if it is retro.

Kurri moan away - honestly you put up with a heck of a lot and it's been pretty relentless. You must be sick of feeling ropey. Tomorrow is another day, but let's hope it's a better one.

Smee mine is also purple at the minute though ... sob !

ARGH, just typed a long post and flicked back to check I had quoted the correct name and lost the lot. Really not used to posting in forums, will have to perfect my posting skills.

Thank you all for your welcome. Feeling sad there are so many of us but hopeful having read how you are all coping.

Gigonadas (hope I have spelt that right as don't want to lose my post again) - DH will go with me on Wednesday and Friday. He is great although he is struggling with the diagnosis.

Kurri - Hope you are feeling a bit less fatigued tomorrow. Exhaustion is awful.

Smee - I will tell my boss you ok'd me punching my colleague. I think I will end up having a lot of important phone calls to make when I see her walking up the office.

Topsy, okay you win!! Can the hairdresser un-dye you?

Gracie, I'd bet your boss will be cheering you on! Very hard where you are now - genuinely the first bit of diagnosis is the worst. Once you know everything and have a full treatment plan it honestly does get easier. Still undeniably tough to get through, but if we can do it so can you, so maybe take heart from that. We're here to hand hold and cheer you through. There's light ahead, I promise.

thanks for the musical interlude topsy

hello gracie - posts disappearing is very easy to do, keeps happening to me too! - and very frustrating. Hope you have a good day at work, and manage to resist karate chopping Ms Deranged
Smee is right about the treatment plan - it really does help - it's the uncertainty that is tough to deal with.

night night all xx

Agree that waiting on treatment plan worse- all the wise ladies here said that and we're right.

Flood abated I hope. Just sore now . There is no chance that the other big event of last night ( mini gig sleeping 9 hours!!!) will be repeated .

Was drownton worth it? I have it on record

mmm,Drownton as expected really...
hope work is tolerable today gracie - and the pesky colleague behaves with some restraint.
Everyone is right- once you know what;s what and have a plan things'll feel better.
gig hope wound is healing properly now
A horrible dream again- can't begin to tell you what it was about asit had many elements- gah !

Morning All

Have a good day at work Gracie . Do take it easy , murdering colleagues can really take it out of you

Gig the first sleep right through the night is a great one , although you then spend the night awake anyway checking that they are still bloody well breathing !
Hope mini gig was good to you last night .

Mas bloody dreams , I hate em ! Why can't we ever dream of lovely things ?

Hope your wrists aren't too sore this morning kk ?
Jazz hands can be tiring

Anyone doing anything exciting today ?
I shall mainly be washing my floors ..,
Rock and Roll baby

Morning all - sunshine again here, but chilly, although LittleNed insisted on going to school in his gorgeous "evacuee-look" knee length school shorts. Will wait for phone call later to say he is hypothermic and could I please bring him some trousers?!

Are we singing today? I have been practicing "Amazing Grace" and "Give me Oil in my lamp" which I am playing for a friends wedding in 3 weeks time. I will be at this point in my next cycle, and am fairly confident I can get my fingers to behave and play some approximation of the right notes. . . I could offer a little alternative verse for you all?

Smee calling Topsy - bring your mop this way. 'tis sunny in London and I have floors to be washed too. I have chocolate biscuits and water melon.

Ned, am liking the singing. Great that you're going to play for your friend. What a nice thing to do. Here, I am singing the Muppet theme ;Mnamana, do do do do-do!' We were humming it on the way to school. Not at all sure why.

Kurri, how are you today? Did the Jazz hands work?!

Gig, hope you had a better night and that the wound's behaving today. How was teeny-Gig's sleep? My friend's 6 month old managed 9 hours for two nights in a row, but was back to full torture levels last night apparently.

Mas, I wonder why your dreams have become so vivid? Has your sleep pattern changed? A Psychologist friend told me that most people have all manner of bad/ weird dreams, it's just that you only remember them if you surface at the right point. Can't remember exactly, but I always find that reassuring somehow.

Wonder if Gracie's thumped her work colleague yet. Hope she's alright today.

What's on this week - has anyone got appointments? Wishing everyone more of this sun. Makes the heart soar somehow.

Better get on - huge amounts to do before I go to NY. This time next week we'll be there - fly on Sunday. Am getting almost giddy with excitement..

Just wanted to say hi to all-there's no way I can keep up with you but it doesn't stop me trying!!!
Sorry to see Kurri under the weather,pleased to see smee is getting a lovely trip to NY!!!! It is totally amazing and I'd love to go back with the kids one day.Have a great time.
Can't wait to see topsy's new hair do!My aunt's came back better than it had ever been and she is enjoying new styles.
I do pop in and have a read but can't remember the begining by the time I've finished .
hope you all have a good week.

Spoken to surgeon now-they are going to do minor op to put a drain thing in to speed healing and not stop rad schedule. He sounded remarkably non plussed re tsunami etc so wasn't unexpected .

Does mean may need more general anaesthetic to do the op and get it out but can sacrifice that in name of healing and
Moving on with treatment.

Topsy If you have your mop out, you will make me need to sort my bedroom carpet.

Gracie I would definitely give you an excuse for punching your colleague.

Am also so excited for your trip smee

Hi gracie - belated hugs from me, too, what a monumentally awful start to the year. Handholding a-plenty is available here. I'll be thinking of you on Wednesday and will light a candle. I agree you can punch the colleague with impunity - I think for some reason a cancer diagnosis has made me especially intolerant. That may be why so many of us on here are self-employed - it's for the safety of others

Thanks, MAS for the candle at the weekend, what a lovely thought.

Smee- how was Horrible Histories? Do tell, we are going next month. Did ds like it?

KK - sorry you are under the weather, but hope it is a bit better today. I must say, your neighbours do sound a bit Norfolk. Not actual Norfolk, you understand, but just how people always joke about Norfolk folk. Wouldn't it be great to let their lawn grow a bit, and then go and make a crop circle in it? Let me know if you want help with that.

I succumbed to the call of the shiny car: test drive later this afternoon

Love to everyone

Morning all. I haven't got up yet - I'm lying in bed like the lazy slob delicate victorian laydee that I am. I've cancelled yoga this morning and have determined to have a sensible week. As you say topsy , those jazz hands can really wear you out I will not be washing the kitchen floor today, (even though it could do with it )

Ned - loving 'Amazing mumsnet' , and how lovely you are playing at your friends wedding,- those are the things that make the day special and memorable for a couple

I am at little Ned in his shorts - they want to wear them as soon as there's a sign of sun don't they? - bet he looks very cute.

l4k - lovely to see you, don't worry about keeping up, - we all struggle to do that, - I hope you are feeling OK at the moment

Smee - I am excited about your trip, so goodness knows how you must feel it will be fabulous. Have you worked out roughly what you are packing yet?

MAS- sorry about bad dreams they are horrible, I don't know what causes them, but they leave you feeling exhausted. Will keep fingers crossed for a decent night's sleep for you tonight.

Talking of sleep - how did mini Gig do last night? - 9 hours was pretty impressive, how many weeks is she now? - she's doing very well if she can go through, even if it's not every night.

Love and good luck to everyone with appointments or treatment this week,
many thanks for your support yesterday - I am still very tired, but much more cheerful - you are all great cheerer uppers xx

x-posted Sometimes - ooh new car, very exciting (not as exciting as compost obviously )

at very 'Norfolk', round here people say 'Fen folk' if they want to be insulting (apologies to anyone from the Fens!)
Crop circle (or a copy of the Cerne Abbas Giant ) is an excellent idea. Although I suspect they will be out every day trimming away rogue blades of grass with a pair of nail scissors. They must break out in a cold sweat every time they catch sight of our lawn!

Don't work too hard

Gig, that's brilliantly reassuring. I do love Surgeons as they're so blasé. You might get away without GA. I had my side opened up under local and my implant turned round (comedy new breast flipped..!). Was bizarre but fine. Bet you're feeling lots better now.

Sometimes, I'll ask DH and DS more about HH. They went as I had to work. DS was full of it though, and DH did say it was good. Which one are you seeing - they just did The Tudors.

Good morning to laydee Kurri. Hope there's a maid to bring you something suitably refined from the fb trolley.

Waving to l4k. Don't worry about keeping up. Just lovely to see you.

at crop circle, though that Cerne Abbas Giant is an inspired thought.

What colour new car, Sometimes? Obviously that's all that matters..

gog That's great news about your op. Here's hoping it helps a lot.

Kuri I hope the rest today does you some good :)

MAS I'm not stranger to the nightmares myself. I totally sympathise and hope you manage to sleep better soon.

Waves to everyone else! I hope today is better than yesterday for a lot of you.

So much more I want to ask all of you but I have the doctor again in an hour and must dash. Hopefully getting an answer about my ultrasound and a few other things.

waves quickly to all- should be getting on with work- nice to see you too 14k

Am curious to know why I dream these dreams- they are clearly acting out the things I most anxt about - plus there was a very alarming bit where someone was splitting open little animals and birds with their hands to take out babies -very odd.