the 16th ***TAMOXIFEN***thread

[MaryAnnSingleton]

...here we go again

topsy and amber - lots of love to you both- am not surprised you aren't coping amber -this is totally disconcerting and upsetting for anyone,more so perhaps for you. Allow yourselves to feel depressed and get it out -you are allowed. Topsy- I guess they just want to do the most they can to blast it and that's good,but obviously a bit horrid to contemplate herceptin and chemo together - it seems a huge lot to take on.
I continue to have anxiety dreams -I think it's normal to process your feelings in sleep -but exhausting.

Hi all!

I am sorry to hear about all this lack of sleep: it's familiar, I fall asleep very fast them wake and doze, wake and doze until about 3, when I zonk out. It is horrid. MAS, are those anxiety dreams tending in the usual direction? I had a toilet related one only the other day

KK, I am so sorry about your Dad. Alzheimers is indeed a bugger, even without the stroke. Your poor Mum too. It is very distressing. DH's Dad had a stroke last year and it was just awful trying to decide what steps to take for his long term care.

And please don't shy away from talking about RL things that are nothing to do with BC. I think this thread is about all of life, not just that. For me this is very much a Life Goes On thread. That's its power, really.

Shron, take heart, girl. It is a terrible diagnosis and a dreadful blow, but the treatment is very good these days and you will be able to handle it: many of us on here have done so and we are nothing special (well, I'm not, the others are, actually). But still, if we can do it, so can you. One day at a time, if you can. It is manageable that way, though admittedly not a laugh a minute.

Drift - i hope the earth has moved . And talking of Earth, is she about?

Seeingstars, I am thinking of you, hope you are doing OK.

Big hugs and huge sympathies to Amber, Topsy, Sparkle and everyone else, for a better day today than you had yesterday. Love to all. x

shron..im so sorry its a terrible shock,it takes time to sink in.of course its brilliant to have friends and families support but this thread is a fantastic as everyone here truely understands what your going through so stick with us. good luck with your scans.

topsy... you sound like you coped really well yesterday,well done

.more chemo oh topsy bless you,do you know when that will be and how long for?

no wonder your down you have every right to be,they sound like they really mean buisness but you know what i really admire you how you coped with chemo and i know you can do it again.but today you need a damn good cry let it all out.xxx

sparkle...big hugs,i really wish i could wave a magic wand.

kurri...im so sorry about your dad.must be so hard on your mum and all the family.

amber...good luck at ENT,specialists seem to deny everything i remember asking my onc when they changed to taxotere chemo how likely was i to lose my nails the exact words were" of course you wont lose your nails where on earth did you get that,ive never known anyone lose their nails"i lost every damn one including all my toenails and im still waiting for them to grow back.

must be in the air im another one feeling tired and emotional,but with me ive finished all my treatment and i just want to get better and it feels like its just not happening im just sick of being ill with one thing or another.just walking up the stairs is exhausting and its scarey to feel that weak.

waves to cakes - yes,lavatories and obsessional stuff as always...
Am meant to be working too,so shall tear myself away...

Waves back at MAS!!!! I am so easily distracted

Pink - it takes a while to start feeling OK, honestly, don't fret. it isn't going to happen overnight, it takes months Keep being kind to yourself.

Ooh distraction distraction. I'm the Queen of it.

Pink, it'll take a while yet, meantime you should give yourself a cheer for getting through it all. You had a far from easy ride. Honeslty I think you're amazing.

Kurri, Cakes is right, as the power of this thread is it's not solely about Cancer. It's a reminder that life in both good and bad form goes on. So you absolutely should talk about your dad and mum and what you're all going through. As you said it's easier here to say things you can't in RL and that's what we're here for. Hope you're okay today x

Topsy, you're more than allowed to be negative. Must have been a huge shock to hear about the chemo. You must be raging at the world for such a lousy deal. Huge hugs and love to you. Seriously though, don't apologise for being down. Be incredibly weird if you weren't and you can use us to say all the feelings you probably can't to your DH/ DC. You are amazing and you can do this and there are good times ahead, lots of them am sure. xx

Amber, g'ah for appointment change. Hope ENT have some wisdom for you. You need that solved at least.

Drift, hope your dream comes true.

Fantasy snack time to cheer us through a grey, damp Friday? I am thinking two packets of Walkers C&O (one is never enough !), a few cubes of sharp cheddar cheese, a couple of Tunnocks wafers diced, mixed in a bowl with some grapes so it doesn't feel quite so unhealthy.

Damn it !
Have googled for the first time , and I hate myself for it .
Herceptin googling , and side by side Herceptin and Chemo googling .
Do not like the sound of the possible side effects .
Oncologist really played them down , but something the Consultant yesterday said made me want to google it .
She was going through my consent for treatment , and said something like "I think for you , the pros outweigh the cons" . And went on to tell me in very strong terms about the likelyhood of heart damage and lung damage . To be honest , she scared the crap out of me !

Putting the laptop away now ...

Oh Topsy.

Step away from Google, there's a love. And remember what doom merchants oncs always are...

Topsy, step away from the keyboard. Google leads to madness, you know it does. You've got an ace team, so they'll monitor and look out for you, so will surely nail anything before it goes wrong. You need a treat woman. Can we tempt you with anything?

I have virtuous Lentil soup remains waiting in the fridge for lunch. Think that's why I'm dreaming of fbs...

Topsy, I will not for one minute lie to you about chemo and herceptin being fun. They're not. But for me they were entirely doable (well, herceptin mostly so at present barring nosebleeds) and they are for many people despite the doomsayers. Everyone is SO different in their body chemistry and people who are predicted to have an easy time may find it much tougher than those whose consultants are nervous.
Have a . I think I will too. Still very .

I have giant chocolate buttons if anyone is interested

Am there already.

Holding out the bag....

I have some too- and mini rolos...form an orderly queue...
topsy don't google any more,as the others have said it's a bad idea and remember they have to tell you the very very worst side effects.

I have a HUGE bag so form an orderly queue. Friday is a big FBS day in this house.

Bloody tamoxifen aches!!!! I am sure I used to be able to bounce around my kitchen to music better than this . Really, what is the point in having a neighbour who is out if you can't turn the music up loud and hurl yourself around the kitchen without buggering up your ankles??? It's not a pretty sight, admittedly, and it's about time I grew up, but where's the fun in that?

Buttons and rolos.

Cakes, maybe sit and boogie?

Serious thought amidst the chocolate, but MAS and Cakes, have you thought about Glucosamine? I haven't a clue if it works or not, but have been taking it since the summer with some Cod Liver Oil and my knees no longer hurt when I bend. Might be worth a try.

I had cheesey beans on toast
and I have stopped googling .

dh has some glucosamine left over from when his knee hurt...might try those...

And you need FBSs to keep your spirits up so push to the front Topsy!

Smee, I had heard that about glucosamine and cod liver oil, maybe it's worth a try. Hmm. Are we sure these are OK, it seems that everything i want to take isn't recommended for people who have had BC ?

I can't take the sitting down and boogying recommendation on board though. No. I like my music loud and rocky and you have to throw yourself around really

Ooh okay fair point, will move out of Topsy's way. Shuffling out the way for Amber too.

Cakes, I did a google hit before starting to take and didn't find anything prohibitive, but you have a go too. Let me know if you find anything. I saved this as it cheered me up - not that it mentions BC, but hey..
www.ergo-log.com/glucosaminecancer.html

MAS, if you take it, you need to persist for at least 6 weeks to see if it works or not.

Cakes, if you drink enough wine your ankles will be fine. 'tis Friday after all.

Smee I checked that link and it cheered me up too. I am going to get me some of that tomorrow at Sainsburys

Poor chap who had the cells extracted from his brain though. Yikes. It reminded me why I am not a Google fan

I know. Read the bits you like and munch buttons over the rest.