**TAMOXIFEN TEN***

[MaryAnnSingleton]

brand new shiny thread....our tenth !

That is appalling topsy, I am so, so sorry.

I think you will find that the BC nurses will be able to apply some pressure on your behalf - i certainly hope so.

Being a greedy sort I am also horrified at the thought of going nil by mouth for nothing.

Isn't it odd that we all have the urge to clear stuff out? SR, you did make me laugh, it sounded so familiar. I go through the place wildly chucking stuff when my lot are out as well. DD is always asking if I have chucked out something she wants, and I am always denying it with fingers crossed behind my back. It is always something that she has not looked at in years, but miraculously NEEDS as soon as it is gone.

I have exactly the same conversations with my dc, when I have rehomed some toy or book they haven't looked at for ages. I too deny knowing where it is. sorry kids.

I hope you get some more info soon on when they will schedule you in topsy.

I am feeling really depressed today. My breast is still hurting, it is now 4months since the surgery, surely it should have stopped hurting by now. I am worrying about ds too, and still have no new school for him. I am so fed up of him nbeing let down by the very professionals who should be championing his cause, all right I would settle for just doing their jobs! Sorry will shuffle off now and make a .

Sparkle, sounds like you need someone else to make the . Here's one.
It may be virtual, but I hope it helps.
yes, it does sound odd that it's still hurting after 4 mths. Well worth getting an opinion I would have thought.
Eek re ds - no new school?? Not good. Not good at all.

what kind of hurting sparkle ? like an ache,or sharper ? It is common to have achiness after surgery for a while I think- my breast is achy from time to time after 2 years post surgery- I suspect that radiotherapy has really changed it -I did venture to look in the mirror and it is smaller than the other side- it just feels different too.
Am off to post my latest piece of work and then see if friend is about in town and we can have together in Italian cafe.
It's my dad's 78th birthday today,so will go over later when dh and ds are home with his presents and a bottle of pink fizzy pinot noir and a chocolate cake.
Ds is making fish pie in food tech- so that's our supper sorted.

Fish pie os my absolute favourite. Lucky you. I hope your Dad enjoys his special day.

Sparkles, I also still have some breast pain 2 years post surgery. Scar tissue and stuff develops and causes odd sensations for quite a while. But I think it would be worth getting it looked at, just to check and mostly to put your mind at ease. Pain is easier to bear if you know it is just a normal reaction to the surgery.

I am sorry the school thing is still not resolved, and also that things are dislocating just within normal ranges of movement. It must seem like a never-ending nightmare at the moment.

yes,have it checked sparkle for your own peace of mind -am sure it's quite normal.
I think ds is selective in what he puts into his cooking- he doesn't like butter,so may decide to omit it from his pie (mind you--he doesn't like cheese or mashed potato either) His stuff always tastes ok,but am dubious about the sitting around in his locker/state of the boy's hands thing...

Morning all.

Topsy, I'm so sorry surgery was cancelled. . I hope the BC nurses can enlighten you and give you some answers.

Cakes, well done on your weightloss. It's brilliant.

Sparkle, sorry you're feeling down today. I agree with the others, if you get it looked at it will put your mind at rest.

Off to hospital in a mo to be bled and see the oncologist. Should know if lump has shrunk and by how much. Dreading being told it hasn't and I can't have the mastectomy. I'm getting in a panic about it, silly I know. Deep breffs and all that.........

Truely does cakes. Thanks for the amber I needed that.

MAS if I catch the breast even quite lightly it hurts, I can not have any pressure on it at all, so no hugs on that side. I have a little sensation returning in the nipple, which is still very distorted in appearance, the focus of the pain appears to be under the nipple in the centre of the breast, which is where they removed the mass from, so it is probably just post surgery scar tissue or something, but I am feeling too vulnerable and frightened to go to the drs at the moment. I know it is silly.....maybe I need dutch courage , or virtual cyber courage from you guys.

I used to love fish pie, but got food poisoning once from one cooked by a friend's mother, and now can not let it pass my lips, even the smell sends me running......used to be a favourite comfort food too, served with peas. Weird how certain associations affect you, guess it is a throw back to hunter gatherer genes

Deep breaths and big hugs figgy.

thinking of you figgy
and a cyber hug for sparkle- go and see the doc,we'll be with you in spirit- just so you know it's a normal part of the healing process.

Big hugs figgy, am feeling confident on your behalf. let us know what they say, don't leave us hanging.....

MAS - I hadn't thought of the locker/hands thing. That puts me off (a bit) as well. I bet I could still manage a dollop though

Sparkles, I'd personally not see the GP. Phone the BCNs. They'll take a look and most likely call in a passing surgeon if they are at all unsure. They see and feel so many they know exactly what they are talking about. I did this once, a few months post surgery and they were both so confident that it set my mind right to rest. In my experience (and this may be just around these parts) GPs haven't got much of a clue with boobs.

that's much better advice cakes - bcns would certainly know more about whats what than the gp..
I put ice packs in his ingredients bag- there are prawns- the other fish is tinned tuna.Will heat it for a long time !

With ice packs it will surely be fine. It does sound nice

I've just had my daily salad (with canned tuna - suspect it's not allowed)and am feeling quite full but the idea of fish pie is still pretty compelling....

Am making chicken stock in my slow cooker in the hope that I can make a nourishing and filling soup that will do me for tea for a couple of days. I don't imagine I'll get DH or DD to buy into the idea of soup for tea, though.

Something else I've noticed with this diet - since I have been on it, if i have a glass of wine in the evening, I can taste it in my mouth in the morning, like you would if you had had lots and had a hangover. It's put me off wine, that's for sure! (No bad thing)

off .....nope this diet is not for me

Hello all - belated hugs and good luck vibes for Figgy, who is probably at the hospital now. (sorry, I was out this morning or would have wished you well on time )

Topsy, I hope you are feeling a little better this morning after your traumatic day yesterday. I hope the BCN can help get something sorted out for you soon, fingers firmly crossed for a very quick new date.

Sparkle, - sorry you are feeling low, you've got such a lot on your plate its not surprising. I think like the others that the pain is probably quite normal post surgery pain, but echo the suggestion of seeing the breast care nurse when you feel up to it, to set your mind at rest

I've been having a counselling session at a cancer support centre in a small local town, I discovered this place recently. It is lovely and the people are so nice, I chatted for ages and said a lot of things I hadn't been able to say out loud before. And everyone is very free with hugs (which was nice).

The counsellor used to be a Macmillan nurse and she is going to try to help me enjoy the here and now, and not dwell on the past or worry to much about the future. And she's going to help me sort out my weight - which she think is as much due to depression as physical stuff.

Anyway they do massages, reflexology, yoga, counselling and sitting in the lovely garden drinking tea. And its run by an oncologist who I'm going to meet next week. It was all very peaceful and I came out feeling a lot more positive than I have for ages.

It is this place - I put the link because there is a rather nice poem at the top which sums up their philosophy - which I thought others might like

Enjoy your fish pie MAS (I seem to remember they had a fridge at DD's school they could put all their cooking in until home time, which was good - although I'm sure the pie will be fine with ice packs)

Cakes - am of your dieting success but also very admiring. Soup sounds good - I might try making a batch and freezing it.

Oh goodness - sorry another huge post. Maybe I should start writing abstracts for my posts - so you can see if you want to bother reading them or not

Cakes off v. good advice to Sparkle on skipping GP - definitely go straight to clinic Sparkle - maybe you have a low grade infection or something. Hope all this virtual tea is cheering you up. there's another for you.

• Topsy, am so for you. How awful to get there and be turned away. Hope you've got hold of the BCN and some answers by now.

SR, hysteria sounds reasonable with finals/ AS and PG mix. I've been on a bit of a purge since dx too. Think I've gone too far though, as DS is now deeply suspicious if I ever 'tidy' his room. He has a forensic memory for bits of plastic crap toys.

Kurri, we'd never escape prison we'd all get far too hungry on the run and get caught having a picnic...

Mum and Dad have been and gone. Bit of a whirlwind visit as it's DS's birthday soon, but they're going on holiday so wanted to see him before they go. Mum was very addled this time. She set off to their bedroom to fetch DS's present, then came back not remembering why she'd gone. Dad reminded her, so she went off to fetch it - then came back without it again. Repeat x 3, all the time DS trying v.hard to be patient, Dad getting more and more tetchy until I growled at him to stop and went with Mum to get it. So hard to see her like that, as she's always been incredibly strong and capable. The only good thing is she really hadn't a clue..

MAS, Happy Birthday for your Dad. On fish pie: turn dial to max and re-heat to cinder level.

Figgy, have fingers and all other things crossed for shrinking lump. So hope it's good news. x

x-posted Kurri, but I like the look of that place. And my posts are as long as yours..

Thank you for me have got the kettle on for another one.

about being caught whilst stopping for a picnic!

Fingers crossed for topsy getting a timescale and figgy getting shrinking lump!

Kurri, Smee I love your posts just the way they are!

KK that centre looks good. I am sorry you have not been feeling positive, all I can say is that that doesn't come through in your posts.

Having some help with your diet will surely get you in a more positive frame of mind when it starts to pay off: sometimes we just need to have something - anything - going right.

I like your long posts: don't change.

I am feeling a bit down today myself. Nothing to do with BC, just my inability to manage anything technological. I know I need to get to grips with it, but computers and phones and stuff bore me so much I just switch off my brain whenever I try. But I do need to get to grips it is truly pathetic. It is holding me back work wise as well. I'm not looking for sympathy, I am only mentioning this because I suspect that, if i get to grips with this, and you get to grips with your 'ishoos' about your weight, we will both feel revitalised. But maybe I'll leave it for another day

It's great Smee - they even have a couple bedrooms where people can stay if they have to travel a long way for their treatment - they've got a lady staying atm who is having to go into the hospital everyday, and they have provided a bed for her friend as well so she's got company

Sorry to hear about your mum, if she's anything like my dad was in the earlier stages she probably has 'bad' days when she's quite forgetful and some 'good' ones where she has a better grasp on things. It is hard I know

I am at your DS's forensic memory for plastic bits. I made up a song for my DS when he was little called 'the plastic rubbish song' which listed all the crap he hoarded - used to make him giggle

Blimey, while I was typing a whole load of posts came in!

smee, how about your Mum. It does seem to be the strong capable ones who get it, often (in which case I needn't worry for myself)

Did someone mention a picnic

oops x posted. Thank you Sparkle and Cakes.

Cakes - I think you are right about getting to grips with certain things being the answer - I liked the way the woman I spoke to took my weight issues seriously, - she knew straight away that it's to do with how I feel atm, and that I'd feel better if I can control it. Doctors tend to dismiss it and concentrate on the other physical problems.

Here's hoping you overcome your technophobia (or technoboredom ) - just don't ask me for any help!

MAS - so sorry I missed that it was your Dad's birthday - many happy returns to him, hope he has a lovely day (with cake of course)

that does look like a lovely place to go KK - the being in the here and now is the essence of mindfulness - so that's an excellent thing to aim for.
Poor mum smee
and Cakes - I can empathise with the techno stuff- I just close down and glaze over,yet expect myself to be able to work these things out and get cross when I can't and when dh shows me he is always impatient as if I should get it immediately. grrrrr

Am peed off on my dad's account as his beautiful painting,submitted to the Royal Academy summer exhibition has been turned down (on his birthday too)- I shall boycott it.