TAMOXIFEN thread number 8 ********

[MaryAnnSingleton]

just in case we run out of space !

meandmyfour - click the 'message poster' bit at the top right in the MAS's name line and you can send her a private message.

Sally I am off to read your link now - back in a sec, but in the meantime, Welcome, but

OK Sally, have read now. Is it a hard lump? You've picked the word 'pea' and i wonder, is that significant ie does it feel like a pea? If it does, as you have just stopped breast feeding, I'd say it was likely linked to that, and to get it checked out, but try not to worry.

If it isn't, still get it checked out, especially with your family history, and still don't worry.

But really, with your mother's illness in mind, the GP should be keeping a special eye on you anyway, just as a precaution, so getting a check will be a highly sensible thing to do. Simply because, if spotted early, BC is a very, very treatable disease, and increasingly so.

I know you are scared, and I can see why, but it really does sound pretty unlikely to be suspicious to me.

Stay here and chat while you wait, we'll wait with you. x

Thanks Cakes, yes its a hard lump, it seems rounded like a pea on one side and not as smooth on the other side. The lump doesn't hurt itself, but I am having a dull ache in that breast and sometimes a stabby pain aswell.

I've been to see an NHS family history specialist who wrote to my previous GP to say that I ought to have mammograms from 40yrs+ instead of older because I am high risk (mums aunty died from bc too).

I'm trying to tell myself that it is probably bfeeding related but I just can't shake the feeling that this is history repeating itself. If I go and they refer me to the hospital or something I don't think I could bear to tell my Dad either, after mum it would break his heart.

Hello Sally,

How are you doing? I have read your link, and Saturday does seem like a long way away. Can you ring the practice and ask to see the practice nurse. He/She could then refer you straight to the breast clinic. This is what happened to me when I found I was bleeding from the nipple. I was only a year out of breastfeeding and it turned out I had a lump in my milk duct. They removed it in january, and I heard yesterday that they are very happy they got it all, and I need no futher treatment at the moment, just monitoring. They can't tell me why I developed the mass, whether it was related to breastfeeding or something else, I did ask, but it is gone now. I am sure you will find an equally happy result, but try the practice nurse so you cut down the waiting.

Yes everyone good news for sparkle I had two glasses of wine and fell asleep to celebrate.

MAS I am glad to hear about your mum doing do well. Can they do anything to help with the swelling, or is it just a matter of time will heal?

No, I can see that it might upset your Dad. But it is very likely they will refer you, just to be sure, and with your family history.

Getting a mammogram and/or scan may well be the very thing that will give them, and you, absolute certainty over what you are dealing with. They often refer people even if they are almost sure it is harmless.

If you are referred you will be seen very quickly, and will very likely have all the tests you need right there, at that one appointment. It is all pretty quick and painless, they protect your dignity and are very gentle and caring. When I was further down the line than you will be, and having a biopsy, the very young radiographer held my hand, for which i will always be grateful.

You will see a breast care nurse for a chat, and she will be an important point of contact while you wait for results, if you are anxious. You really can just phone for a chat and a worry down the line. It's what they do. You will be so well looked after, you'll be amazed.

FWIW, the lump's resemblance to a pea seems quite promising. But now you have established what it feels like, try to stop touching it. It will probably get sore if you don't.

Smee, good news about the clear smear....when are you expecting the mammogram appointment? How is the outfit coming together for your ds for Friday? My dc school has yet to decide if it will do anything to support comic relief, I wouldn't mind if it was because they were focussing on providing a good education, but they can't do that either I might send the dc all in red anyway

SR - piccies of Orlando......please, need cute pics of kitten in my life

meandmyfour - they are amazing aren't they, and you are too with all you are dealing with. I am so glad you have found this thread. I was, and still am, very frightened at the prospect of leaving my three dc, so I completely understand too.

LGF did you sleep better last night?

I have a weird and very itchy rash spreading up my arm. What do you think? Can't face going to the gp's again, think my arm will actually have to fall off to make me go with something else. [fed up emoticon needed]

Ooh, sparkles, cross post! Yay and double Yay for you!!!! That doesn't mean you are going to leave us BC ladies, does it? We'd really miss you, and BC isn't at all obligatory here....

Thanks Sparkle, I'm ok, I think it is just a fear of the unknown thing. I'm torn because if I try to get an earlier appt then in my head I'm making it into a BIG DEAL and I've been trying to keep it as a small thing I'm just going to get checked out.

Plus, DH is away with work so if I go in the week I'd need to take DC with me and I don't want to but on Saturday I can leave them with DH and go on my own, just wish Saturday was sooner!

Sorry cakes and sally I xposted.

I was given the mammogram and an ultrasound and a needle biopsy. All of which happened relatively quickly, within a month, many posters on here got it all through faster than that. I think it is related to how your PCT has it organised, so don't panic if appointment come through faster, it doesn't mean they think it is bc.

Of course your dad will be worried when you do tell him, because he loves you. You don't have to cross that bridge until you are ready though.

Hello Sally. What Cakes says makes sense. My lump wasn't painful at all. In fact I wouldn't have found it if it hadn't been close to the surface. Come chat to us while you wait. Sadly we all more than get the fear and it would be very weird if you weren't worried, but odds are you'll be fine.

meandmy, ffs what a lousy year you had. Can't believe your partner left and you had to go through cancer treatment. Either one of those would be enough to flatten someone. Are your triplets at school yet? Can't imagine how you cope if not. I have a not quite seven year old - the energy I need for him alone is exhausting.

LGF, sleep deprivation's the last thing you need. Can you nap in the day at all? Might help to top up your energy levels and ward off the headaches. Mouth ulcers are fowl, aren't they. Definitely keep gargling.

MAS, good to hear your mother's still mobile. Good that spring's on the way. A bit of sun in the garden is probably a very good cure.

Wonder how LJ and Figgy are getting on, and Sparkles how did it go last night?? Hoping all's well for you and your only problem today is a celebration hangover.

Waving to all.

Thanks Cake, that is really reassuring. Need to pull myself together!

No cakes, if I leave here, I will have almost no friends left

No Sally you don't have to pull yourself together, you are allowed to be scared and feel . Talk to us though because everyone on here completely understands without you having to explain.

LGF, that should read 'foul' - unless you have a chicken flavoured ulcer.

That's settled then, sparkles. We need you here. You aren't too far from me either, if you ever fancy a meet-up (I'm in Coventry).

I have something that I just want to share, and might be of use to meandmyfour - similar to MAS's mindfulness, I suppose. Anyway, I have been going to a group hypnotherapy thing, for relaxation. it is fab and i was quite happy with it at that level but, yesterday, he said he was going to get us to focus on a problem we have while he talked us through the relaxation thing, and he said we would quite likely get an insight into it over the next couple of days, if we just left it to our unconscious to deal with. It's great, because you don't have to tell anyone else what your stupid problem is, you just think about it yourself. Anyway, i was sceptical but, over breakfast this morning, while eating pineapple and watching Tracy Beaker, it hit me. I know now why I repeatedly sabotage my own get fit plans. It is because I watched a couple of people post treatment (NOT for BC) try to get fit and then discover they were still ill and, when I was first diagnosed myself, I was on a get fit plan. So in my head, the keep fit plan leads to Bad News.

I am not sure what the answer is, but now I feel a bit more loving towards myself about it, at least.

Anyway, I am not sure if that gives anyone else any ideas, or maybe persuades them that hypnotherapy might help - if so, it was worh the typing and embarrassment. x

W'ah, cross post x lots..!

Sparkle, am so pleased for you. Cakes is right, you absolutely have to stay, or we'll hunt you down. Maybe try some piriton for rash - I'm mainlining them at the moment for post Rads-itchy skin syndrome. Not sure that's the medically correct term, but it's accurate. Piriton takes the edge off it and works for rashes too I think. You can get non drowsy ones.

On Red Nose Day, DS seems to have forgotten the chameleon idea, and we're onto pirates, so am hoping he sticks at that. Be a bit of a mare to try and turn him into a reptile.

Pirates good, colour shifting reptiles...... Impossible!

I will hunt around the medicine cabinet for any piriton, I am such a dopey mare these days, that piriton hadn't occured to me.

No embarrassment with your hypnotherapy revelation. Actually that seems very plausible to me, out moinds work it extremely complex ways, and make sometimes dubious connections, I am sure it is a through back to some basic survival skills, and the reason why organige juice and lemonade and fish pie both make me throw up even if just put in front of me - long story.

Are you still slopping on the aqueous cream, smee? That'll help too.

Chameleon outfit is an awful idea - encourage him to stick with pirates, you have a chance of hitting the mark with that.

I reckon the piriton would help with the rash, sparkles - I reckon it may be a reaction to the stuff they swab your skin with pre-surgery. They wack it all over everywhere in the vicinity.

Thanks sparkles. I know what you mean - I can't look Sanex shower gel in the eye any more because the smell makes me think of when I had the BC surgery (only because it was what we were using at the time). But fish pie, with lemonade and orange juice???

smee - sorry. excellent news about your smear. And MAS, really, I may have to get quite stern over yours

Aqueous, nah Cakes, it's banned here as I'm uniquely weird in that I had a bad reaction to it. The Radiologists said they'd never seen anything like it. I even became a teaching case. At one point I had 15 students looking at my breasts. E45 is my friend. I have large tubs..

I am intrigued by your hypnotherapy experience. Sounds very positive. You probably don't remember, but way back when I was having chemo, I went to a session to try and stop me being sick. Was completely useless, so he put me off. I think I even threw up in the toilets as I was leaving. You're making me realise it might be worth another try. We had pineapple this morning too. mmm

Sparkles, I'm a bit more low rent with my food associations - it's baked beans here. Mighty glad to see you're sticking with us.

[stern stare] and a nag from me too MAS.

Believe me cakes, you are best left to wonder than actually read why.......tmi trust me!

It would be lovely to meet up sometime, I have to wait for someone to be there to provide emergencu cover for ds, but I am hoping that will happen at some point....this year maybe.

I just got a stroppy email response from the Head of SEN and Inclusion in response to me tearing strips off him for not telling me when ds' case meeting is to be held. He says I have written to you, you should receive it shortly. Interesting.....not in today's post, so when will it arrive tomorrow, after he has actually written it today.....and what a shame that neither the telephones or email seems to have been working at the LA since last week, when everyone else was contacted......ARGHHHHHHH Calm and serene, calm and serene

at your large tubs smee

Oh yes, I remember about the aqueous now smee, and your incandescent chest. I don't remember about the hypno - how funny (after the event, at least) to throw up on the way out .

Sparkles, I imagine he'll be scribbling a pre-dated letter to you this very moment.