**the 7th Tamoxifen Thread **

[MaryAnnSingleton]

here we are...

Had the dreams that is not the knickers

Oh Sparkle hugs here too, why do they have to make everything so hard for you? Hope you're feeling a bit better now - a good cry often helps I find

If I had chickens I'd just have them for laying, I don't eat meat but my sister and her DH have a farm so I can cope with tales of dispatching! - actually I went veggie because I thought it would be more healthy - how wrong I was I'm not a proper veggie as I eat fish occasionally too.

Do you have a small holding or something similar? Have you ever kept goats - I fancy having goats if I ever get the space for them.

We'll all be thinking of you for the surgery, when the date comes round.

I wonder if Limejelly has had hers yet? I can't remember what date she said, but I had a feeling it was soon.

DH claims I am talking in my sleep at the moment, but everything I say is gibberish apparently.
I did an awful lot of sleep talking when I was having chemo - did anyone else get that? I remember when I had to stay in hospital at one point a few people were jabbering in their sleep, one woman "phoned" all her friends to tell them she was OK!

I think LimeJelly was the 18th, but might have remembered that wrong. If you're lurking, hope you're okay LJ.

Sparkle am surprised you're not bawling the whole time. What a ridiculous amount of hurdles you have to try and jump through. Must be so hard to keep fighting battle after battle.

MAS, your son always sounds wonderful. How brilliant that he did it all his way. Takes a lot of strength to do that, I think.

Kurri, I talk in my sleep sometimes, though I don't think it's increased due to treatment. I went through a phase in my twenties when I sleep walked lots too, but thankfully that stopped a long while back. I woke up once on the work surface in the kitchen of our shared student house. Worse than that, I was totally naked.

Hope dentist's okay tomorrow. Cakes, I've got Onc this week as well, but on Friday. Fun, fun, fun..

Rather futile this, but am wishing you all a wee-less night.

yes,let's hope for a wee-less night !
And am thinking of Limejelly and will most certainly be thinking of you sparkle.

and thanks smee for nice words about ds- I do worry about him,being so 'individual' but so far it hasn't made him a target for bullies. I think that he gets away with doing things his own way,especially when little because he is very cute - apologies for the boast, but people just respond that way to him. Just as well otherwise it might be a whole lot tougher for him.

Hello lovely women. Sorry I have been away for so long - you were all so kind and generous in telling me your experiences, but it was a lot to take in, took me a long time! Also been having trouble with PC and MN going very slow. Also been busy hassling to get physio for my broken arm which should have started 2 weeks ago. Managed to get one appointment, and one more booked before my op. Slight improvement now I know what exercises I should be doing, but scarily stiffer than I ever imagined it would be - can hardly flex my wrist in any direction at all.
Following your excellent advice I now have a freezer so stuffed with crap food I can barely pull out the drawers! And so many tins they won't fit in the cupboard!
Have my injection on Weds - the leaflet said I will be slightly radioactive for 24 hours after and to avoid 'close contact with young children' . How can I not cuddle them before my op? (Thurs afternoon).
Wish I had sought your excellent advice before I spoke to the boys - made a bit of a hash of it really. Spoke to them separately, said 'cancer' to one but not the other. Never mind, tis done now. Have informed the school so they can keep an eye on them for me.

Sparkles - I am so sorry for the extra hassles you have with all those bastard acronym-bearers! Cannot believe how hard they are making things for you when your DS is so obviously deserving.
Good luck to Smee and Cakes with your appointments too.
And congrats to MAS on your book!

DS2 does Karate too! Has mild ASD, weak muscles and hypermobile joints. He'll never be great at any fast-moving sports, so glad we found something mainly non-competitive that he can do at his own pace. Good for his core muscles, self-esteem, concentration, etc. We suspect the examiners cut him a bit of slack now and then too. What does it matter? He is so proud when he goes up a belt, it's lovely to see.

This was typed using BOTH hands! Yay! Am determined to improve flexibility before Thursday!

Oh yes, and cannot possibly go to bed before wishing you all a wee-less night!

hello limejelly- am sure the radioactivity is very mild -try not to worry - we'll be thinking of you all the way

oh and good news about improving arm mobility xx

Hiya LimeJelly - good to see you back.

The radioactivity is very mild indeed. I asked the very same question you did, and the nurse said it was just a precaution, that they all come into far more contact with radioactivity over time than we do when we have our one-off injections, and that they continue to work in the department even while pregnant, so it really is low dose. But they just suggest you don't co-sleep, for example. But even then, it really should not be an issue. So that's a worry to knock off the list, really.

I am sure you did fine talking to the kids - at least you have done it rather than going all secretive and letting them imagine stuff. Telling the school is a great idea as well. My dd's school said she had mentioned aspects of the treatment a few times, and they were able to respond appropriately, and support her.

As regards the broken arm, flexibility will come. Just keep up with the exercises. It is a bloody nuisance though, I know.

Didn't manage to be quite wee-free last night: but at least i only went once (from memory, sometimes I don't bother to wake up much). At least the compulsive mid night eating seems to have stopped. On advice from a friend, 2 oatcakes before bed seem to work wonders.

Thanks so much for that, Cakes! Thought they were probably over-egging it, but it did make me sad. DS2 wanted to sleep with me at the weekend ("Why?" "Because you're cuddly and you cuddle me" ) and having read the leaflet I was delighted to let him even tho it meant little sleep for me. Such a wriggler and a tendency to fling an arm/elbow out randomly! He loves to sleep with someone - anyone will do really, but I am favourite and he's the only one not bothered by my snoring either!
Just had one of those calls telling me our PC is in danger of blowing up so I need to give them remote access to it so they can fix it for me...grrr! Even tho I knew from the start it was a scam (played along until the remote access bit out of curiosity) it still made me feel a bit shaky.

Bless your little ds! He'll be able to sleep with you lots more - just not for that one night. Then all bets are off and you can enjoy being elbowed again.

We had one of those a couple of weeks ago - something about a Malaysian virus. It made me uneasy too.

Hi LJ - good to see you again I agree with the others - I think you will be able to give your DS's a cuddle safely.

I'm sure you did fine about telling your boys, there's no right or good way to do it, it's always difficult, because however you phrase it you are telling them something that's hard to deal with. I think telling the school is a good idea, so they can support them if they need it.

Well done on getting the food organized, and I hope everything goes well on wed/thurs. , we'll all be thinking of you

I managed to survive the dentist and no treatment needed so that was good. He did try to suggest referring me to an orthodontist to have a bottom front tooth straightened - I declined, I am too old for braces

Def agree KK. Teeth straightening is for kids. Who needs it at our age?

Glad nothing else was needed: long may it continue! How's the pain going, by the way? Is it any better? And are the new walking boots feeling unloved due to lack of use?

I went to Pilates last night - first in 3 weeks owing to Christmas. I felt VERY unfit, so was pretty relieved when the friend I go with got into my car and said she couldn't stop her bum muscles shaking

Well done on the pilates Cakes - I'm sure when I can finally get back to my class I will be a complete wreck afterwards!

Pain is still there - not as bad, but still there, so think I'll have to go back to the GP next week (I'll have taken it easy for 2 weeks by then)

My walking boots will probably run away and go to live with someone who will exercise them every day, same goes for my new swimming costume

well done Cakes ! I did a bit of yoga the other day- first time in ages..just in case we do some tomorrow at (at last) the final Mindfulness session. There are 4 silent meditation days programmed too,which is great. Am going to persuade my friend S to come with me...asked dh who refused and ds who said he'd think about it- of course they won't come !!
One of my book group ladies who is very beautiful anyway with no discernible wonkiness in the teeth had braces on for ages - obv. she feels better having done it,though I'd never noticed they needed it. They aren't terribly comfy and she lost a lot of weight because she couldn't eat properly.

Just checking in at Kurri's suggestion.

Phil - just putting a link to your other thread, so everyone can see what's going on with you - save you explaining it all again link here

Oh and welcome of course

Welcome, Phil, I have just checked out your other thread. I am sorry, it is a horrible thing to go through, especially this bit, funnily enough, because of the uncertainty.

Don't be put off coming here because we have (mostly) had BC - we do have people here who have been found to have no malignancy (thank the Lord) or those who have had very early diagnoses, we are all just in it together and being supportive. Ask away, anything you like (we have very few secrets on here, whether boob-related or otherwise )

Hi Philmassive
So sorry you are going through this worry. Do you have a date for the mammogram? I was very lucky to get a clinic appointment just 8 days after I saw my GP, and results just 6 days later, but am aware (and grateful) that this is particularly fast.
My mum had a cyst in her armpit which was very painful - I think it's quite a common location for them. I also believe (from what I've read) that something painful is less likely to be cancer. Thinking of you x

welcome too from me philmassive - have followed KK's link to your thread - can quite understand how scary it is for you -we are here though to offer a hand to hold.

Hello from me too philmassive. Poor you to be referred, but far, far better to find out than not to. Ask any questions you want - doesn't matter how trivial. And fingers crossed you won't need us past the biopsy stage - I always trot out this stat, but 9 out of 10 referrals to breast clinics turn out to be benign, so hang onto that for now.

Really glad you're back Limejelly. Been thinking about you. I'd bet you didn't make a hash of telling the boys. Telling the school's a really good idea, as they can keep an eye. Is it the bone scan you're having - must be I think. Poor you to have it all colliding at once, but good to get it done too. What time do you have to be there on Thursday? This week must be hard, but strangely I'd bet you'll feel relieved once you're in hospital and it's all started - all this waiting's far from helpful.

Hark at Cakes with her Pilates. Am ashamed to say my old Pilates teacher called with NY wishes the other day and I didn't pick up because I saw it was her. Hopeless I know..

So Kurri, howabout a swimming pact? Though having said that, I can't find my costume. Next week I will start - have promised myself, so you'll all have to all give me a nudge if I fail.

Excellent day here in Smee-land. I booked flights for our big treat holiday, so we're off to Morocco for 10 days in Easter holidays. Am ridiculously excited. Have wittered away most of the day looking for Riads to stay in.

Thanks so much everyone. Am so grateful to you for bothering to understand. I am such a useless jelly at the mo, just keep dissolving into tears. So pointless as I know that they won't help me one way or another.

I have yet to read through this thread but am doing so in bite size chunks in an effort to get to know everyone! Please forgive typing as on an iPhone and fingers and mini keyboard not overly compatible!

Thanks again for the welcome.

Tears are indeed helpful Phil. let it go, much better than bottling up.

You'll get to know us just fine - ask the questions you want to ask and you'll find out what you need to know. But brief detail on me, I had a stage 2, grade 2 tumour removed from left breast April 2009. Had chemo and radiotherapy, feel pretty OK now. I am fat and unable to shift it - i choose to blame the treatment but this is self delusion. I am working on that.... I have a DH, a 7 year old dd who keeps me pretty busy, and I'm self-employed. I wee more often than should be strictly necessary and that's about all there is to say about me really.