I am an Alcoholic

[ghengis]

Today I have finally admitted to myself that I am an Alcoholic.

I don't have booze first thing in the morning or (usually) during the day but I drink to excess in the evening and wake up in the morning determined not to drink that evening. Only I always do and now it's making me and DH miserable.

I could really do with some support and advice from any recovering alcoholics. Help.

fantastic ghengis and pinetree! it seems like moderating your drinking is working really swell, without you having to cut out all alcohol - so even better

I'd like to join this thread please,
My mum is a heavy drinker, but she refuses to admit it. I know this normal for an alcoholic to admit they drink too much. My mum drinks everyday, day and night.
She has now been drinking since saturday, on and off, all day and all night. And she has still been going to work! She seems to think that if she sprays a little bit more perfume then no one will notice the smell of the booze. What do we do in a situation like this? Me and my sisters are concerned about it.

Pinetree and Ghengis, I am so delighted for you. Well done!

Kid, I am sorry you have this worry. Have you been able to have it out with her? My mum was the same. She used to start sentences, 'when I used to drink...' when she had been blind drunk just the day before. It is hard and ultimately only the person drinking can be responsible for their health and their behaviour. You can't force them. But I would advise resistance - making it too easy for them isn't helping them.

Janstar- me and my sisters are always saying to her that she drinks too much, she says she only drinks at weekends (which isn't true). She seems to think no one notices when she has been drinking but believe me, it is so obvious.
My younger sister even hides the drinks, when she does get drunk she gets nasty. She doesn't physically hurt anyone but she says lots of horrible things. She did have a difficult time growing up, but her sister also had the same childhood and she doesn't have a drinking problem.
I think because of the way my mum is, I don't drink. I'd hate to be drunk all the time.

Kid, sorry to hear about yout Mum. I would say be totally honest about it. You don't have to harangue her or be accusing but it is much better for both parties if you are honest. If you know she has been drinking alcohol tell her. Tell her that it is obvious to you and, probably, to her colleagues and apart from anything else it is unprofessional. Try not to accuse or nag but let her know that everyone acknowledges that she drinks too much then leave it up to her to deal with it.

Let us know how it goes. We are here for you.

We have often said that we wished we had made a home video of our mum to show her because she just didn't realise how horrible she was. We never did, though. These ideas always sound good in theory but in practice, I don't know.

a home video could be the answer, I'm sure she would agree that the signs of drinking are obvious, if not to us then at least to herself, it might have the desired effect to make her stop. We are not telling her she can't have a drink at the weekend or when she goes out, but not sitting at home on her own during the day.
thanks for the support

Pinetree, DH Caroline 18 and all, how has Christmas and New year been for you? It has been a case of 'hit and miss' for me. Some nights I have been really proud of myself and others I have given in to temptation in the name of the festive season. I do feel more powerful though, so things are on the up. Happy 2004 to all.

It would be soooooo good to believe that 2004 was the year I cracked it!

Hi ghengis, great to hear you're doing so much better! I'm cutting back this year and starting with a 30 day abstinence stint (um, from alcohol, not sex...). Anyway, I found some helpful sites:

a link to a Drinker's Check-up
SMART Recovery : behavioural therapy based
Rational Recovery : seriously nutty site, but with a helpful perspective
Moderation Management : focuses on drinking moderately

I had a great time looking at all the sites yesterday. There's a lot of backbiting and name calling between the various members of each group (except SMART, it seems). But something there will hopefully be useful. DON'T join the Moderation Management list unless you're prepared for massive amounts of babbly email.

Hope this year goes well for you! You can email me, also, if you'd like.

Message withdrawn

Thing is, Ghengis, if it's no longer ruling your life that would be great progress. I know you thought I was harsh before, but....Normal people drink for occasional pleasure. If you find that's what you're doing, then all you really needed to do was kick a bad habit. I'm so happy that it seems to be working out like that for you!

Thanks all. I bought Feel The Fear and Do It Anyway on audio CD and it has made a big difference on how I feel about myself. I feel much more in control of things and this in turn has helped me be strong enough to moderate my drinking. I take Cipramil and I do think it has affected my alcohol tolerance level, i.e. I get drunk quicker!

I buy wine less often now but, when I do, I treat myself to a better quality bottle.

Any news on Pinetree?