I am an Alcoholic

[ghengis]

Today I have finally admitted to myself that I am an Alcoholic.

I don't have booze first thing in the morning or (usually) during the day but I drink to excess in the evening and wake up in the morning determined not to drink that evening. Only I always do and now it's making me and DH miserable.

I could really do with some support and advice from any recovering alcoholics. Help.

True Ghengis, I have little sympathy. I've been in 12 step programmes myself. I have a plethora of addicts/alcoholics in my family who wore out all my sympathy years ago. I've watched them use & abuse other people, too, as part of pursing their addictions. "Sympathy" certainly never helped them get better or face up to their problems.

If you don't want your children to be as hard and cynical as me, maybe that alone will encourage you to stop drinking.

One thing, you can learn a lot about AA online .

Thanks for the link Zebra and for your advice.

Ghengis - well done for having the courage to do this and although I cant offer another other than moral support I think it is wonderful how everyone is trying to help well done to everyone - restores your fait in human nature especially when carolines husband make sthe effort to come of and help - most excellent.

I have had a bottle of red wine each evening. I am armed with nothing but fizzy water this evening and DH is out so I am determined to stay sober.

I know this is completely off the sort of thread but do you think it is possible for someone to say that they only drink to excess at weekends??

I really nered to know - say someone who used to drink everynight - at least 5 cans of beer and all of a sudden they are saying that they only drink at weekends (and I mean drink so they can't stand up) is this feasible??

Well done Ghengis - I for one am so proud of you as are everyone else it seems - it is so hard to get yourself back together and not hink about drinking but just carry on one step at a time and I am sure that you will reach a point when you no longer crave for alcohol.

I am crossing my fingers for you and wishing you the very best of luck.

I agree with Zebra - abottle of wine would make me vomit. That is not moderate drinking.

Well done Ghengis. I've only just pick up this thread. I have an alcoholic Dh who is in detox at the minute and an alcoholis MIL who has been dry for 22 years (not that we see her more than twicw a year). The biggest step is to admit the problem, you have down that, well done.
Please if you cannot do it on your own get help from whoever will listen. My Dh saw getting help as a sign that he had failed, a sign of weakness. In my book it is a sign of strength. You are admitting you need help and have had the courage to ask for it.
Mil wrote to Dh when she found out he was going in to detox, she ended it "Good luck....stick with it the best is yet to come!." Stick with it Ghengis. Good Luck xoxoxo

caroline18. I am a journalist. I've interviewed experts in the field who don't happen to think that AA is the only way. Not everyone has the same opinion - that abstinence is the only option - or that alcoholism is a disease that is only treatable with abstinence. I didn't say that AA didn't work, just that it is not, in everyone's opinion, the only way. After all, bulimics and anorexics have to come to an accommodation with food.

BTW Ghengis, I hope you achieve what you want to achieve. If AA isn't for you, maybe cognitive behavioural thersapy is. It is the most succesful form of therapy in changing people's behaviour.

Hi Beetroot - I was just coming in to ask her the same thing!
So how IS it going G?

I was totally booze-free last night and it wasn't too hard. Maybe it's just the habit I need to break rather than giving up altogether. Having said that, it is better for me not to think about when I will/won't have a drink. I am just concentrating on 'now' and trying to keep busy.

As an aside, DH and I made love last night and it is much better sober! Now there's a thought to keep me going!

Now I am smiling Great to read the happiness between the lines.

Boe - reference your question about weekday/weekend drinking - I used to drink about 1½ bottles of red wine each evening. Following a warning from my doctor, I've stopped drinking mid-week completely. Friday evening I'll have a couple of glasses, possibly a couple more than that on Saturday, but Sunday afternoon/evening is when I have a good session with friends in the pub.
I don't get "unable to stand", but next day I often have no recollection of the last hour/hours in the pub and no idea how I got home. This is sad because I can't remember how much I enjoyed myself.

Ghengis - well done. Keep a good supply of the fizzy water in the house. Don't let your thirst lead you to an alcoholic drink.

Thanks StuartC - my x2b has a drink problem and he has told someone who can make a huge difference to a custody issue that he only drinks at weekends to a high degree. I don't believe he can do this as he 'needed' to drink every night before. To me alcoholism is not something you can switch of at will and comnsumes you completely.

Ghengis - well done - glad sex was better for you - would be a great incentive to me too. Hope your husband found things nicer - would be a great reason for him to give you oodles of supprt.

You are dead right about thinking aof alcoholism as a here and now problem - the here and nows will eventually merge and you will soon find that they become the past, present and future.

The very best of luck to you - I for one am very proud of you.

Nice one G!

Have had no internet so have been a bit quiet. Weel done for the other night ghengis. Have been a bit mixed too, the girlie weekend away went better than I thought it would. Had a bottle and half Friday evening (less than everybody else) and because felt so bad Saturday didn't have anything although others started drinking in the afternoon (hair of the dog etc.). Only had half bottle with Sunday lunch. Had half a bottle Tuesday and a bottle Wednesday which may sound alot to some people but I didn't drink Saturday, Monday and Thursday which is a real achievement and I am proud. I agree with you ghengis about habit because when I was away at the weekend I wasn't tempted on Saturday and could have gone without on the Sunday because the routine was different. Not looking at the same walls, getting dinner ready etc. so am making an effort to change the routine in the hope it will also change the habit. Good luck and stick with it. Is Friday night here and nothing so far, am planning a dry weekend, fingers crossed.

Good to hear from your pinetree. It's great that you have cut down so much. I hope you are not going through the horrors of detoxing and that you start to feel the health benefits soon, because feeling energetic is a great incentive to carry on.

Well done Pinetree. I had a bottle of red last night and enjoyed it but can really feel the difference this morning.

I too will try to vary my routine and break the cycle of sitting down to chill with a glass of wine. I know I won't stop at one glass.

We have made huge improvements and I'm confident things will get better for us. I'm proud of us.

Cyber hugs to everyone!

Aloha is being unfair to AA. The AA definition of alcoholic=Someone who has lost the ability to drink moderately, and who will never regain that ability.

However the people Aloha has interviewed define alcoholism, their definition of "alcoholic" simply isn't the same as AA, if these "experts" are saying that alcoholics can sometimes learn to drink moderately again. Such moderately drinking "alcoholics" are either in temporary remission, denial, or never were alcoholics at all, according to AA.

Annoyed me when Aloha mentioned so blythely bulimics & anorexics coming to an "accomodation" with food. Most anorexics have a terrible prognosis, struggle all their lives with it. Most bulemics simply endure life-long obesity. Sufferers of eating disorders often find it extremely difficult to get help and develop a "normal" relationship with food. Takes years.

whats the news here then?

I went through another couple of weeks of drinking heavily each night, culminating with me vommiting all over myself in the early hours of Frday morning. I shocked myself and am deeply ashamed about the whole incident.

Since then I have not had a drink and I plan to continue abstaining as long as I can, possibly forever. Thanks again for your help and support.