Year 13 support thread - The End.

[OhYouBadBadKitten]

Not the end of the threads, just this chapter of life. We'll keep going, don't worry!

However! Not to be used until this one is done

Panda that sounds absolutely fine. Think this is a time period where we have to start letting them go and trusting in their judgement more. I do still expect to know where DD is going and how she is getting home. She also knows that I will pick her up if she needs me to.

I am also expecting more help around the house and trying to teach her to look for what needs to be done rather than being told. Not there on that one yet though!

DD phoned me at 7am to say she was coming home. They had booked an apartment in the city to stay in after prom and clubbing but apparently the boys were being stupid and they got no sleep so decided to come home.

I am still waiting for her to tidy her bedroom ( you would all be shocked if you could see the state of it) and move at least some of her school stuff, but with the heat, the horse, the bf break up, hair, nails, fake tanning, holiday planing and shopping, and working, nothing is getting done.

party went well, not too big, however, NO teenagers turned up at all on which I blame England Match. However it did mean that my dcs chatted politely to the adults and were on their best behaviour and there was absolutely no supervision of smoking drinking or loud music required!!! Beware of what you wish for!!

No canapes ever again, if you don't have a waitress you might as well have a buffet..even if it is just snack food..too fiddly and people are just as happy with a hunk of bread and some cheese and ham and things like potato salad and chicken wings..(which we didn't have)

my anxiety has receded about party and I think I'll give an improved version with more people [and more potato salad] in August.

Downey also have a German OH.

MrSlant 4 days after anaesthetic I still feel woozy. Best vibes to the head nurse.

Ursula I have to say, I cannot believe how long this Prom has taken in Real Time. About a month..She has finally tidied her room

Ds1 has had another relapse (of spirits) the party was obviously too much for him (he was nice and chatty to lots of adults- older people) still no sign of him going out anywhere or doing anything independently

DD2 had final assembly today. I have just dropped her in the town where the prom is being held. They have a couple of hotel rooms booked at a Travelodge. I feel I should be issuing general warnings to the locals!

DH warned DD2 not to trash the room as it was booked on my credit card.

DD2 is getting loads of freshers tips from DD1. It is like a personal tutorial!

The negotiating of life now they are adults with no school is tricky, it's nice to have other people to talk to about it, who knew there was so much to work out now school was finished with!

DS1 seems a bit low and un-motivated, hard to tell as my parents have come down now to 'help' and that seems to involve flustering him and his younger brother who both need structure and people to stick to the agreed timetable (NOT my parents strong point). He's not cycling though or going to the beach with everyone, hopefully a spot of post exam blues and nothing more. He did message me to tell me he'd be over to sort my 'pool' out at 9am though which made me smile.

Nettles I had surgery on my inner ear so between that and anaesthetic I have no idea when the ground is going to be in the right place again!

Ursula how is it going up on the moor? Hope everyone is safe and the effects are dying down.

I hope your recovery is going well MrSlant.
Sorry your ds is down. Sometimes the lack of a routine can be hard.

Had some good news today. Where we live the government still awards student grants (remember those).

Just checked ds’s grant entitlement and was blown away. He is a very lucky boy. He will get an annual living costs grant of around GBP 10,000.

I Have been worried about the cost of uni and this feels like a lottery win.

He has applied to the UK for the tuition fees loan so that should hopefully soon be taken care of too.

Now just to tackle the long list of paperwork needed to apply for the funds. A job for ds once these pesky exams are over.

We had the first week after exams totally freeform and it didn't suit me at all. I need some structure - who knew? This week has been better, I booked some classes at the gym and when I go DS goes too. This week we have the opticians and dentist to add to the mix too.

mrslant the rules and routines of this household are all over the place now too, nice in one sense but not so nice for the person still working from home (dh) who is getting increasingly exasperated at everyone's late starts and slovenly habits.

We ate a lot of canapes today, and I don;t want to every see an M & S cocktail sausage again.

Our holidays are so complicated and two children who hate transitions, (and their mum) yet we have to go to three different countries this holidays to see gps and a big function. It all sounded so idyllic back in the Spring.. We are all arguing about when to book what tickets. Ds2 is refusing to leave the country because of the World Cup.

I've found out when the Kenwood/Hampstead Ladies Pool opens tomorrow though [secret resolution] I am determined to go. This morning I had a hangover, usually I don't drink AT ALL so it was horrid.(on only one glass mind you, enough to damage my neural pathways]

Downey I think you deserve the grant, as German Taxes are quite high. Also presumably a lower percentage of the population go to uni, rather than apprenticeships etc (dh had an apprenticeship when he was 18, it was considered a very normal option after Abitur)

Dd has joined a gym. Is this the prelude to nightclubs, as she is going every evening from 6-9!!! It seems to be a social hang out. Dses are NOT joining a gym. We are complaining that she's out too much and they are in too much, you cannot win as children with fusspot parents..

DS1 is hosting another 'gathering' this evening. The numbers seem to be doubling each time.

i'm envious third. I wish ds would have someone over!!! not necessarily at this time of night though

now I have people roaming around wanting food grrr. dh was up at 6am and they are going to bed at 3am...not good combo..

Thanks all re comments about renegotiation of boundaries. Today DS has serviced our bikes, swept and steam cleaned the kitchen floor and hoovered the front room! All at my request, rather than his instigation!
I think this is OK...

nettle - I have not mentioned where we live until now 😀 but to be honest my posts are very identifiable - anyone knowing me in rl would soon spot it is me. The fact only 14 schools in the world do the European Bac is a bit of a giveaway! 😂😂

But I am fine with that.

My OH is German but we live not in Germany but just over the border in Luxembourg. I am divorced. My dc are 1/2 British plus 1/2 another nationality. So between their 2 parents, where we live and OH they have 4 cultures!

The student grant system is means tested and even for high earners is very Generous.

OH has slightly older dc and was a single dad when we met. He is very relaxed and a great believer in earlier independence. My ds1 has benfired from this as We have adopted a relaxed attitude to coming home times and going out for about 18 months now.

He is very hardworking and responsible (unlike dear ds 2 who will need watching like a hawk 😭) so we have let him choose his coming back times as long as he legs us know.

We are in a village so he is anyway resticted to when he buses come back. But E have a fab system at weekends where the gov lays on free buses to and from the city late at night to bus all the teens in and out!

They run every hour until 3.00 am but he normally gets home about 1.00.

Right. Let's all move to Luxembourg.

The moors are still smouldering. A lot.

And my tit of a neighbour decided yesterday evening was a good time to burn a wooden filing cabinet in his garden. Our house suddenly filled with smoke so I went out to see what was happening. Knobber.

Don’t like the sound of your neighbor Ursula - what a plonker!

Wow, I've missed loads. Think I fell off the bench (or was in a drunken stupor) once DS finished. That night he went out for a gathering which turned into clubbing, back home 12:30 next afternoon. DS is a young'un and not yet 18, so it was my first experience of him going clubbing!

I'm now trying not to think about what he's up to on his lads holiday in a well-known Spanish party location. He had many lectures regarding balconies. At the moment I'm thinking he's going to run out of money by tomorrow (back on Wednesday). Getting the odd notification that he's still alive but leaving it to him to initiate that.
For those with exams still to go, good luck! And well done Chocolate DD.

I'm enjoying a quiet and tidyish house with only DS2 at home. It ends today as DS1 comes back from uni today. DD gets back from holiday next Tuesday.

Chocolate well done to your DD.

Total lack of structure here too.
Dh and the dcs are supposed to be going to a model railway exhibition to day (all railway fans) but are all still in bed.

I had the last meeting of the parents' group I have been organising at dd's school yesterday. I will miss that contact to be honest but some of the regulars are planning meet up in September to find out how the next stage is going.

I was feeling a bit miffed yesterday that after all the preparations I wasn't going to actually see DD in her prom dress.
She left for the hotel with friends some time in the afternoon to get ready there.

Then at about 5:30 pm I received a panicked phone call - she'd forgotten to take her ID!
Apparently that is the actual end of the world - how could she possibly survive prom + clubbing without any alcohol? (She looks about 14!)

So mum to the rescue - I jumped in the car (luckily no wine had been consumed yet!) and drove the hour and a bit to the city prom was at and delivered the id to her at her hotel.
Payment was that she and her friends had to let me take multiple photos of them all looking beautiful before they made their way to the venue!
DH thinks I hid her ID on purpose . . .

Chocolate That is wonderful about the job. It really is

DS1 is going to see Queens of the Stone Age this evening, then staying at a friend's house, then a five hour train journey to Glasgow to Trnsmt.

lobster dd tried her dress on in living room (all fitted beautifully), had photos, took it off, then went to friend's house, whereupon she found the zip didn't do up anymore because you need to use both hands to hold the edges together At which point they decided the dress could be adapted to backless..

I don't think ds has any id apart from his passport. Hmm. He is refusing to discuss the Prom this evening. Very anxious about it.

I've managed to sort out our holiday plans to suit at least 4/5 people. ds2 is still refusing to leave the country until after the world cup, which saves us a bit of money..I suppose. he says he is going to write the A level prep essays while I'm away with the other two. And watch football. Dh will stay here and work.

haudin I confess to feeling quite nostalgic for all the primary mums who were so supportive when my kids were about 11, not literally, but just that you saw so much more of them every day and met them at parties, had a chat etc. It all felt more level playing field at that time. I wonder what they are all up to now that our kids are 18, I know by hearsay but it is a lot of mums to follow up and everyone's children has ended up at such different schools/different interests.

I see mums from primary in the Co-op. I recognise them but no way would I ever have managed to put a name to the young adult that might be with them. In some cases I only recognise the ex-classmate on the street because I know their dog and that's not changed in the last seven years.

Lovely day here.

Got ds away from his revision and despite the heat he enjoyed playing in a rugby 7s match. He has captained the team for a long time and it was his last appearance with them. So a happy but sad day. They won so a good end.

I managed to find something to wear for graduation. It is a dressy affair and as I live in shorts and trousers it meant tiptoeing out of my comfort zone and into a posh frock.

This is our last weekend of revision!

Will be with you (if anyone is still around) at the finishers enclosure by 12 on Monday. I live near several vineyards so will come armed!