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Fostering

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Original poster

Its our last week together

260 replies

Flower3554 · 21/07/2008 11:09

Well this is it, one week today our little one meets his new mummy

I'm busy washing all his cuddly toys cos some of them are so grungyI'd be ashamed to send them with him

He's having a sleep at the moment and I'm imagining what it will be like when he goes, I know I'm going to miss him like crazy but it's long past the time he should have moved. I hope it all goes smoothly and he really "takes to her"

OP posts:
butwhybutwhy · 04/08/2008 09:00

I've been reading this and its so bittersweet in a way.
I really hope you get the most out of the next few days with your LO and its not too rough on you in the end (I know it will be but you know what I mean )

I've thought for a while now that fostering young babies is something I would like to do when my 3 are a bit older but to be totally honest, reading this thread has made me think that I couldnt do it. I dont think I have as many balls as a ball pit as another poster said

lazaroulovesleggings · 04/08/2008 09:07

Morning Flower. I hope you have a better day today and that the meeting goes well.
Again, keep us posted.

mamadiva · 04/08/2008 14:04

Flower just a wee message on this difficult day for you. I hope you will somehow manage to get through it, and I hope DFC is happy with his new family too. It'll be hard to be apart but hopefully you will be able to have some sort of communication as he grows.

God I'm crying just writing this and thinking about what you must be going through I cannot imagine how you are coping. Well we are all thinking of you.

Best wishes and big hugs to you xxx

mamadiva · 04/08/2008 14:06

Oh sorry for some reason I thought it was today he was leaving just read through again and realised is not wednesday sorry.

MamaGLovesMe · 04/08/2008 17:15

I hope you have had a good day, flower.

Original poster
Flower3554 · 04/08/2008 18:23

Its been another hectic one Mama I'm exhausted. The meeting went very well and Wednesday is definately moving day

I've just put him to bed and its weird to think I'll only ever do that once more. He is coping very well with all the comings and goings, we had a full house at lunchtime when the meeting got underway. I'd made sandwiches etc for us all and we ate lunch while we chatted about the week so far. Lo sat in his high chair taking it all in and munching away

When asked how she felt the week had gone his new mummy said how very grateful she was for all I'd done for her which was really nice to hear, even his social worker got all emotional and agreed with her. In 18 months its the first time she's praised me

Ah well time for a G & T I think, I've earned it today

OP posts:
MamaGLovesMe · 04/08/2008 18:30

Sod it, have 2!!!

Original poster
Flower3554 · 04/08/2008 18:33

GrinGrinGrin

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drspouse · 04/08/2008 19:01

Awww, this is really nice to read, though sad. We are in the process of applying to be foster carers and the SW said that lots of people say "oh I couldn't do that because I couldn't give them back". She said she'd be worried if her carers weren't sad as they'd be made of stone if they weren't!

And I get upset when my Rainbows move up to Brownies and don't need us any more! So goodness knows what I'd be like.

I have to say I do kind of understand the no visitors rule. Imagine you are a small child who has had lots of people come and see you - and many of them have taken you away and left you with strangers. Now you are with another set of strangers.

You can't talk, or you can't really understand what's going on. Another new set of people come to see you. Are they going to take you away? Will they take you back to your last carer? Will they take you somewhere else? Will they take you to your birth parents who you can't really remember (or perhaps you can) but who didn't take good care of you?

onepieceoflollipop · 05/08/2008 09:36

Thinking of you Flower.

Kewcumber · 05/08/2008 09:52

just caught up with this thread. Good luck today Flower - I wish DS had had the opportunity to be fostered by someone like you and not in an institution.

Cod - you are bizarre.

lazaroulovesleggings · 05/08/2008 10:25

Morning Flower.
I expect today is going to be extremely difficult, strength to you.

Original poster
Flower3554 · 05/08/2008 10:59

Good morning everyone.

Well its here, last day with lo, his mummy is here until lunchtime then she's taking him out until I finish his packing then bringing him back around 4pm and leaving us for our last night.

It's been a rollercoaster of a week and I'm exhausted, I'm sure she is too. They have to catch a train early tomorrow so she will be picking him up at 8.30am.

I just want to get through today and get tomorrow over with.

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onepieceoflollipop · 05/08/2008 11:03

(((hugs))) for you Flower. for you as well.

MamaGLovesMe · 05/08/2008 12:51

Have been thinking of you today, flower.

Have you got something nice planned for tomorrow and the next couple of days? You deserve it and will need it.

Original poster
Flower3554 · 05/08/2008 13:00

Nothing planned MamaG, don't think I'll be fit for much

He's gone out with mummy for the afternoon now and the other fc is out on a contact visit, the house feels weird I have to go and pull my sofa's out now cos the lo has a habit of pushing books, jig-saws etc under them and I don't want to find stuff after he's gone tomorrow.

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MamaGLovesMe · 05/08/2008 13:18

Take it easy.

stealthsquiggle · 05/08/2008 14:47

Thinking of you Flower.

As a result of this thread I will be encouraging our friends to make sure they keep in touch with the foster carers of their adoptive DC if/when they arrive. I am sure they would have done anyway, but you have given me (and others, I am sure) a fascinating glimpse of the other side of this particular story.

Original poster
Flower3554 · 05/08/2008 16:52

Thank you stealth

He's home and his mummy has left for her last night of freedom

We are going to have lots of cuddles tonight. They will have to last a long time

Tomorrow is going to be difficult but I know I've done my best for both lo and his new mum.

Thanks to all of you, your support, hugs and thoughts have meant a great deal to me. xxx

OP posts:
lazaroulovesleggings · 05/08/2008 17:26

Hi Flower. Enjoy your evening with LO. {{{{hugs}}}} to you

poshtottie · 05/08/2008 17:42

I remember seeing a card that said something like " we hold their hands for a short time but they stay in our hearts for ever"

Will be thinking of you flower tomorrow.

kando · 05/08/2008 17:48

Good luck for tomorrow Flower. It will be so hard for you, but you must feel proud of yourself that you have given so much to your lo. He's a lucky wee man. Many hugs x

onepieceoflollipop · 05/08/2008 18:21

I can't read your updates without welling up, so have no comprehension of how much sadder you must be feeling.

But you know in your heart that you have given this lo such a sound start in life, when one considers that there were potentially other less happy beginnings for him. x

Original poster
Flower3554 · 06/08/2008 05:16

Can't sleep I've been up since 3am and the night has dragged by.

I can't stop crying. I thought this night would be bad but it's been so much worse than I imagined.

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poshtottie · 06/08/2008 07:22

Flower, just can't imagine how you are feeling. Is it always like this when the little ones move on? How do you get through it?

You will be my thoughts today. x