Ponce Alert! The things people order in coffee shops.....

[Earlybird]

Heard a man today ordering 'a shot and a half espresso', followed by a woman who ordered a 'double skinny latte with one shot decaf and one shot regular and chocolate on top'.

Are their tastebuds really so finely calibrated?

It has to be Indonesian coffee if you are doing a home brew. Once you switch you won't go back.

Mmmm, coffee!!!

I have coffee from a jar.
Nescafe. Or dowe egberts really smooth. We do have an espresso machine, but i don't like them, and we do have a cafetierre. Don't drink much of those types though unless BIL visits, he likes 'proper' coffee.
What tea is builders tea then? Is that the name or is it pg?

DH drinks Nescafe.

I'm too much of a coffee ponce for that.

we call skinny lattes 'Trim' lattes in NZ which sounds even sillier

I still order them, even though it makes me want to snigger.

builders' tea is strong and orangey with two sugars
it is the antithesis of ponce
(any mainstream teabag will do, eg Tetley, PG, Yorkshire. Not Twinings etc)

This is why I don't go in Starbucks or whatever - the choice is too much and it seems to confuse the staff when I insist that I really just want 'a coffee' or if they insist again, 'a latte'. Anything else is just too much IMHO.

Asking for a black coffee seems to stump them. A black coffee in a coffee shop - what's that all about?

that's cause they refer to it as an Americano
try and see

I don't understand all the shot shenanigans either

a shot to me is a tequila slammer and I'm not sure I really want one of those in my morning coffee

Builders tea should be strong enough to stand the spoon up in. Best served in a chipped mug as well for authenticity .

But why? And why do they feign ignorance when I ask for a black coffee? Irritating.

[misty-eyed]
I remember in Topsy and Tim Have The Builders In (may not be accurate title) the builders make tea by boiling tealeaves in water in a billycan over their bonfire...

Well I'm fat and I always ask for hot chocolate (without the cream, as that's just asking for some skinny bird to point and make a comment, someone just like cod!)....

DH drinks black coffee, and I am amazed at how many questions I get asked when I only want a black coffee..... Bold or medium, tall or grande, columbian or pervian, decaff or stay awake or night..

I DON'T FECKING KNOW - HE JUST SAID A BLACK COFFEE......

Americano heifer...

topsy and tim's builders weer obvi hippies and can't of got much work done.

was going to share my coffee shop experiences with you but have decided to put kettle on and have a coffee instead.

Oh I'm big and guess what I drink, Cod?

COD!

I drink cappucinos. And I am NOT fat. Well not very fat anyway. This last half a stone is proving difficult to shift.

Only drink cappucinos in the mornings naturally. How vulgar to drink cappucinos or lattes in the afternoon!

My cappucinos do tend to be skinny capps with an extra shot. Hold the chocolate.

Oh shoot me now.

I couldn't even get a job serving in a coffee shop now.....

I'd drink the profits

meandmyflyingmachine - should I just ask for Americano then - is that normal, medium, american black coffee?

It is often espresso made up with hot water. It's OK.

I prefer cinnamon on my cappucino and I do need to lose some weight. Am I poncey and fat? NB you can also specify Fair Trade coffee if you go to Costas. I am then a poncey, fat lentil weaver.

Americano is normal american coffee. Unfeasibly weak and dishwatery in Starbucks - therefore totally authentic.

Any die-hard bean grinders around?