Ponce Alert! The things people order in coffee shops.....

[Earlybird]

Heard a man today ordering 'a shot and a half espresso', followed by a woman who ordered a 'double skinny latte with one shot decaf and one shot regular and chocolate on top'.

Are their tastebuds really so finely calibrated?

tis a tiny evil strong black coffee with hot water added to make it into a normal-size normal-strength black coffee.

It's also a good one to ask for if you want Normal White Coffee - say 'American with room for milk' and add your own milk at the milk-and-sugar stand afterwrads.

I HATE COFFEE -

my siser loves starbucks she made me drink this frothy sweet tea last time we went because a cup of earl grey, typhoo, pg tips was far to common place for them

it was shite

oh can't order americano then - my DH would hate it.....

So any other suggestions what I should be asking for when wanting a normal black coffee....

americano too weak imo
xxx

Lavazza coffee for home, definitely. Soy cappuccino when in poncy cafes, I just like the taste of soya in capuccinos and they are lower in fat. I'll second whoever it was who said that full fat coffees in Starbucks or whereever taste like butter-yeuch. Someone on here said yesterday that Starbucks sell hot milkshakes which I thought was apt.

All I want is a black coffee with some cold milk in it. No froth. No chocolate. Definitely no cinnamon.

It also makes me feel such an arse to use the various words they use for the sizes so I just ask for a medium and they go what? what?

Oh ffs, "An extra wicked Americano with cold milk on the side"

I definitely make better coffee at home.

One of my friends argued with the barista in Rome over the coffee he'd given her as it didn't have milk in it. She thought she'd asked for some sort of latte (which is also a no-no after your evening meal ) but he gave her some kind of shot with I think grappa in it and absolutely no milk in it at all. Must admit I found it hard to keep a straight face at her face being given this tiny glass of mud-like coffee.

heifer order him a triple espresso

i'm fat and i have a cappucino ooooo once a weeki. that muist be where i'm gaining weight from.

Heifer - order him an americano with an extra shot.

Coffee shops in the UK pretending to be Italian really make me laugh. Exaggeratedly poncey and hugely overpriced. The coffee they serve is really shite too. Try getting a decent espresso - the stuff that comes out of Costa and such has so much water in it it tastes like Nescaff in a tiny cup.

There's none of that ponceyness in Italy, it's coffee, capuccino and macchiato basically, plus there's the odd one doing different varieties such as marocchino, and that's it. No skinny lattes, no shots (unless you're going for a caffé corretto then the shot is grappa). Pah!

It is supremely irritating to be stood in a queue behind an uberponce who has ordered a ridiculously complicated/unusual combination. Inevitably, the people make it wrong and then the customer either rejects the incorrect coffee and demands it be made again(making the wait longer for all), or sighs deeply and takes the inferior coffee anyway....and acts as if their morning has been ruined by idiots.

But you don't need extra shots in italy. You do in England because the coffee is so weak.

Right. So if I ask for "an Extra Wicked Americano with an extra shot and cold milk on the side" I'll get a nice cup of coffee (but still feel like a tit).

Hard to get decent black coffee IMO.

In those chains anyway.

Our local independent coffee shop does a lovel filter coffee...

And know what you mean when you ask for "black coffee".

Cheers Quattrocento and BBBee

Next time we are in Borders i will order one of your suggestions and see if he notices the difference...

Bookworm - you can't have a cappuccino after dinner, but a caffé macchiato (espresso with just a blob of milk in) is perfectly acceptable. Lol about the grappa shot, kinda proves my point

Nooo Bookthief

Extra wicked = extra shot

Unless you wanted a triple shot?

Oh god. I'm completely lost now. I'm just going to start packing a flask.

I've only recently managed to bring myself to ask for a "tall Americano with milk". I used to ask for a "small white ordinary coffee please" but I got looked at oddly.

Soupy - you can't have small - it's either medium or large. Even regular seems to have taken a dive off the menu.

You can almost bath in a large coffee from M & S . I could make that go three people in my house .

Right. So I want a grande Americano with an extra shot and cold milk.

Is grande pronounced grond or gronday or grand or granday?

best thing is wathching italian tourists at coffee shops. They think thw world has turned upside down, they recognise all the words but they mean completley different things.

it's pronounced 'ponce' I think

if you were really speaking Italian I guess it would be gronday