What is the worst food you ever made?

[NotQuiteCockney]

Mine: banana guacomole. When I was first making guacomole, before I'd learned that you always open the avocadoes first, to be sure they're usable, I'd prepped up everything, got ready to add avos, and they were rock hard.

So I tried subsituting banana. On the basis that bananas are a bit like avocadoes. (They are high cal, and ripen off the vine.)

It was gross.

My ex FIL once was doing leeks in cheese sauce, realised he had no flour, so used custard powder

I made doughnuts that could be used as cannonballs

Mmmm. Custardy leeks. Mmmm.

wouldn't custard powder without the sugar is like a white sauce with added egg?

He also made a curry once, using pickled eggs that were ten years out of date

Doesn't custard powder have sugar in it, though? It's always mentioned as a substitute for vanilla pudding mix (which is a powder) in American recipes.

Yes, it does. And it tastes of custard.

Well, you can have eggy sauces in things, and the milk powder isn't a problem, surely. But the sugar would be boaktastic.

I made stock for gravy once and used a jug that I had previously stored undiluted squash in, orange and pineapple (bleugh)

The taste must've soaked into the plastic of the jug and been reactivated when hot water was added.

I didn't tell anyone and the whole family had it on their Sunday lunch. No one made it past 2 mouthfuls. Orange and pineapple flavour gravy is not a winner

Lots of this does sound a bit Heston Blumenthaly, tbh.

there was a falafel incident. we don't talk about it.

When v. drunk - angel delight made with tia maria instead of milk. It seemed like such a good idea at the time.

Mine - an attempt at "tuna fishcakes" when we were squatting at dp's (now dh's) mother's house while she was on holiday, and I was twatted on Ouzo. The "recipe" involved lots of flour, and corn flakes I think. They were minging.

That angel delight sounds like a good idea now, and I'm sober

I'm really enjoying these! Keep them coming!

I also made Cheese & Onion flan - without the cheese - hmm very erm bland?

Oh, and there was the time I sent dh out to buy cheese so I could showcase my amazing cauliflower cheese, and he came back with Wensleydale

I mde him eat the results, too. Stood over him, hands on hips.

Okra curry - didn't realise how slimey okra goes when you cut it up into small pieces. Tasted ok but looked like it was covered in slug slime.

I made meatloaf last week for the first time. I didn't have chopped tomatoes so I used ketchup, it was awful

Not me but MIL

I once gave her a non alcoholic cocktail of fresh straberies, crushed ice, old style lemonade with a splash of balsamic vinegar on the strawbs. Very nice.

She recreated it but changed a few things to save money.

Strawberies, crushed ice, fizzy water and sarsons vinegar

when it tasted crap!

too numerous to mention!

once when i lived at with my parents i tried to cook egg fried rice but didnt realise you have to boil it first

I once tried to make some kind of vegetable stir fry (Ken Hom recipe) thing and had to pre-cook some broccoli for "several" minutes. I did it for seven minutes (is that unreasonable?) and the broccoli went v v soft. So when I stir fried everything it turned into a kind of green mush.
Then I had to add some pepper (I was struggling manfully on despite the obvious fact that it was already a disaster). I did this and then my so-called friend who was "helping" said "No no no you need more pepper" so I shook a bit more over the wok and the lid fell off the pepper jar.
Still struggling on, I scraped what pepper I could off the top of the stir fry.
We ate it. All. DH and friend chomped through it saying "yum yum".

I made a truly horrible fish thing once. As far as I remember pieces of raw fish were marinaded in lime juice for an hour and then drained and served with coconut milk. Vile!

The worst thing I think I've ever tasted was made by my mother (who is a fantastic cook). It was cods' roe burgers, it was truly revolting. [bleugh emoticon]