What is the worst food you ever made?

[NotQuiteCockney]

Mine: banana guacomole. When I was first making guacomole, before I'd learned that you always open the avocadoes first, to be sure they're usable, I'd prepped up everything, got ready to add avos, and they were rock hard.

So I tried subsituting banana. On the basis that bananas are a bit like avocadoes. (They are high cal, and ripen off the vine.)

It was gross.

My recipe books are peppered with pages with big marker scores across certain recipes and notes to self like, 'Horrible. Never make'.

bran, that sounds like ceviche? (Oh, Saturday, from 10am. Ok?)

I once made fish with beer, no idea why, it was rank. I was making it up as I went along.

In my teens I thought I would surprise my mum and bake her a pie while she was out. I found a bag of (what I thought was) flour and made a pretty impressive looking, if not slightly pink pie. Sadly the flour was, in fact, plaster of paris.

LOL. Doesn't plaster of paris, well, set?

I'll have you know it bakes beautifully!

Actually, the fish thing doesn't sound to bad to me now as I really love sashimi. But I made it when I was a teenager and I quite possibly got it very wrong, and the fish almost certainly wasn't sushi grade. Anyway, only my dad managed more than one bite. Mind you, even he didn't take a second bite of my mum's cods' roe burgers and he never criticises her cooking.

And pink has got to be a good look for a pie.

My sister and I went mad with food colouring once and made pink spaghetti with green sauce.

(bran, 10am, Monday?)

(Yes, 10am will be fine. I'm going to bring veggie green curry if that's ok.)

Saturday! Not Monday!

Veggie curry sounds lovely.

(Sorry I'm loosing the plot. What's Monday about?

(Stop cross posting, and post some more horrible recipies )

I put Monday when I meant Saturday. My error.

Jomist, I'm really laughing at your plaster of Paris pie. My mother would have found it very useful as she did amateur dramatics and could have used it as a prop.

I once made some aubergine dip thing where you had to halve the aubergines and then roast them on a baking tray

they kind of exploded and mushy stringy aubergine flesh sort of glooped all over the tray. It looked very intestinal or brain-like

I once suggested to a friend that he made chocolate-coated brussels sprouts as an hors d'oeuvre at a party. He took me up on it. Watching people's faces as they bit into the yummy chocolate and then the sprout flavour hit them was really very entertaining

Stop laughing at my pie!!! It was quite stunning I will have you know.

I've decided the next meal I'm making for dp when he upsets me is cod roe burgers with uncooked egg fried rice, followed by plaster of paris pie.

Oh, Frances, I make the aubergine thing, it's lovely. Oh, but I don't halve the aubergines, I just cut slits and poke bits of garlic in, I think.

ROFL at your pie jomist, did you get as far as cutting it? Was it rigid? What did you do with it?

choc covered brussels, ROFL maybe I should try that on my boys

Didn't have a chainsaw handy, so cutting wasn't an option.

Wurlywurly it could probably put them off chocolate for life

NQC this thing was different to yours, I am sure. It was called aubergine caviar?

I am never going to make an aubergine dip again

No, mine is from a moroccan book. No caviar mentioned. Roasted, add oil, blend, I think.

Then there was the chocolate charlotte. The recipe book misprinted the amount of butter and at the time as a newly-wed I didn't have the experience to question it. I put in the 2 packs of butter and thought it was very smooth and professional looking, sadly that was all it was.

So what was your mother's reaction to the pie? Was she terribly tactful?