What is the worst food you ever made?

[NotQuiteCockney]

Mine: banana guacomole. When I was first making guacomole, before I'd learned that you always open the avocadoes first, to be sure they're usable, I'd prepped up everything, got ready to add avos, and they were rock hard.

So I tried subsituting banana. On the basis that bananas are a bit like avocadoes. (They are high cal, and ripen off the vine.)

It was gross.

When DS was tiny and slept loads I decided to try and be a bit of a Domestic Goddess and try out some recipes from a book.

I spent ages making this savoury dish based on Bread and Butter pudding but using ciabatta and lots of lovely veg -it was soggy and foul!

Have now resigned myself to the fact I'll never be a Nigella or Delia......

Savoury bread and butter pudding sounds awful!

I once made a lemon and egg soup which was vile! I should have known...

My DS had chocolate covered carrots and broccoli for supper on his birthday and loved them! (but brussels sprouts!!! yuk)

LOL at the pie ,and curried caterpillar

Millet and courgette risotto. Foul foul utterly foul. Even DH couldn't eat it ...in fact he still mentions it to this day (20 years on) in tones of horrified wonderment

OrmIran millet and courgette...blee!

A couple of weeks ago I had my parents round for lunch, nothing special. So I made bangers and mash.

I burnt the sausages so that they were a dark brown shell with no soft meat left in them.

I made the mashed potatoes really lumpy.

The carrots were really overcooked because I was overcompensating (mum likes them well cooked, but not that well)

Best of all, in my hurry I used semolina flour in the gravy because I hadn't labelled the jar properly. It was white and a very, very strange consistency

I am usually a good cook, honest!

NUT, I love my sausages burnt, that's how you're supposed to cook them

Oh well, come round to my house any time powder

I made a carrot cake for my friend's 21st birthday party (this was in the eighties and we were students).
I carefully followed the recipe. However it tasted only of carrots and had the texture of a brick. A brick covered with cream cheese icing.
My friend ate it with enthusiasm and then a few days later agreed it was the worst cake she'd ever eaten.

I started off cooking mince to make a cottage pie. Half way through cooking, I realised I didn't have enough potatoes for the topping and hadn't any pasta to make it into spag bol. Also, I didn't have a tin of tomatoes to make the sauce.

So I chopping up the small amount of potatoes and shoved them in with the mince and the only thing resembling tomatoes that I could find was a can of baked beans. It probably would have tasted ok but I had to cook it for ages so that the potatoes were cooked so had to keep adding water so that it didn't go dry.

When it was finally ready, the potatoes had disintegrated and everything had turned into a mush and when it came out and started going cold, it went hard, like porridge cementing.

It was awful - no-one touched it other than ds who ate a whole bowl (must have made him weigh a stone heavier) and then sat on the loo for about 20 mins having a huge clear out.

chopped, not chopping

oops didn't realise that was so long!

Houmas.
It was the most vile thing I have ever tasted.

lol Nbg

I really think hummus is one of those things that tastes better shop bought. The consistency is really hard to get right!

My flat mate and I made a lovely morroccan lamb stew with the bag of spice his sister had brought as a present from morocco.

One mouthful of going 'eeeurgh, what's that taste' and telling his sister it was her fault, we used her spice, and she said 'that wasn't spice, that was henna!'

I made a sponge cake that even the dog wouldn't eat.

I once made a veggie lasagne which involved wilting lots of spinach and adding the juice thereof at a later stage. I had a stinking cold at the time and was drinking a lemsip, which I added by mistake rather than the spinach stock. It didn't tastt too bad though!

Lemon soup is coming in pretty high on the list
I made a broccoli and lemon soup once, it was very very upsetting. For all concerned

But how can you get houmas wrong lol!

It looked so easy in the book.

Not quite a cooking disaster, but many years go when God was a boy I was a student nurse. In those days they didn't send up plated meals for patients but a selection of (usually disgusting ) food the nurses served. In my first week I was left in charge of the food. There was a pie with a pinkish filling, which I assumed was rhubarb and served with custard. However, was met with howls of outrage from my patients when it turned out to be beef! Never really lived it down, and didn't stay in nursing long.

When I was a student I thought I was being dead clever and healthy making carrot and orange soup except I didn't have any stock so put a (heaped) spoon of my flatmate's gravy granules in instead thinking it was pretty much the same thing. It's not.

As an adult I'm usually a pretty good cook but for some reason whenever I have my MIL for a meal I always balls it up.

LOL Blu!

scoobydoo, you didn't work on the orthopaedic ward where I had a knee op about 10 years ago did you?

I ordered vegetable crumble (only vegi option on the menu) and they had put a sweet crumble topping on a savoury dish -YUK!

Trying to be slightly health conscious, but aware of DH's love of toad in the hole, I decided to make a version of it.

Suffice to say that "Chicken in a hole" really doesn't work. The batter never rose or really cooked, and the chicken was tough and overcooked. Yuck

lol @ 'chicken in a hole'
It sounds perverted

If julia davis is on MN she'll be having that for her own gag

"prawns with milk, anyone?"