I know I PROMISED not to do it again after what happened last time. But the timings right and I won't be stopped.

[HoneyDragon]

Breaking News

I have MNHQ surrounded. They were too busy to notice me. I have chained up all the exits and cut off the gin supply.

The surrounding area consists of land mines that spray sparkly shit and baby dust.

I have 10,000 tickers and if I meet resistance I will use them.

THIS IS A HOSTILE TAKEOVER.

I am now the Mumsnet OverLordette.

You don't have to salute or 'owt. But you do have too accept me as your leader.

Join me.

Can I be camp chef? I work in a cafe so have skillz and shit.

I can also donate cakes to the cake punch training workshop.

Tonights slop dinner is chilli and potato wedges.

And Angel Delight for afters.

Also, baileys hot chocolate will be served on the hour.

Can I do the stake outs?

or I could.do Cliff decoys!

I have my own beret and uniform, so don't need another. I can provide Hell Bunny that savaged me tonight so badly that I refused to pick him up again and cancelled his injections appointment until next week

I'd offer MuttDog as well but she is scared of the bunny and is currently gassing us all with noxious liver farts.

I'm good at map reading and have my own gun compass.. am I in?

Sorry Daniel, no one is getting out alive.

Hello!

Oh I can't do headsets either. They hurt my ears.

Can't I be the bar person? I will make sure everyone has a drink in their hand?

Okay. Bar tender it is. Still a vacancy in the Logs Room. Anyone worked in a McDonalds before or currently?

Lt, noxious farts could be a great weapon if we all have gasmasks.

SPs, I would be both delighted and honoured. I think we would make quite an incredible team actually given your credentials and mine - I did a certificate in community mediation approx 20 years ago. Yup, pretty hot stuff in the negotiation world.

I'm late to the party... Has anyone taken the Ministry of Agriculture and Fisheries yet?

I want in! I have some Zinfandel, 5 boxes of quality street that are supposed to be for nursery staff Xmas prezzies and a psychotic 4 year old who can do a good line in lego weapons.
They won't do major damage but if scattered right will fuck up the feet of anyone who gets in the way.

We will be unstoppable!

With your 20 year old certificate and my Hostage viewing, we are obviously the best for the position.

Tbh after I first saw Hostage I decoded I either wanted to be a negotiator or a hostage taker

Yes LtEve you are in. Have you considered forgoing your love of creatures long enough to use your compass on the Bunny?

Danielle. Sorry. No flouncing. It's a lock in till our authority is assured. If you need help with this try the Bailys.

No offence tantrums but you're starting to sound like more of a hinderance than a help. I think Bar Keep is by far the best place for you!

Pan will there be cycling kit for the mounted divisions?

Can the whippets have bandannas, they look good in bandannas.

Interesting Daniel hell autocorrects to Danielle

the obvious choice for weapon cleaning

Whoa!

Did someone say honeycomb Baileys?

I'm a qualified librarian and a pacifist.

I know some good folky protest songs.

Does anybody have a use for me outside of animated doorstop?

I have found that throughout my adult life, the bar generally is the best place for me.

I make wicked cocktails. I could intoxicate everyone into submission?

yes Lost, the Bike Mounted Division will be elegantly simpatico in the purple/green/white, except in lycra. Only the brave need apply.

You can train the troops with marching songs Showy

Can I do the negotiating from the bar?

Do you think we should give them a chance to surrender? Anyone know who's in there tonight?

If you break MN when I'm having another bout of insomnia I will be PISSED. What do you actually think makes me feel mildly sane at 4.30am?!