Things that happen in films that don't happen in real life

[LilyAnn13]

1. Sliding down a wall when in emotional distress
2. Swiping everything off the desk when angry
3. Starting to talk about your day when entering the house, before you've even checked if anyone is home e.g "Hi I'm home. You'll never guess what happened to me in the office today...."

Feel free to add.

Being on death's door, and recovering 15mins later without any apparent medical treatment

I'd love to see your treatment of a Bond script.
Bond loses car keys, can't break into car due to bulletproof glass, has to wait hours for more keys...

Surveillance scenarios. They park right over the road from the house theyre' looiking at or the person they're following, roll down the window and get binoculars out or a massive camera in full view. The earpieces are visible, and the microphones are in their lapel and they grab it with their hand to lift nearer their mouth when they talk. Theyre only ever a couple of people behind the person they're following on foot. Stick out a mile. Yet the dangerous criminal never even notices.

Yeah, and nothing Q designs ever malfunctions. Bond never forgets how it works and has to ring him "What button do I need to press for that rear machine gun again? It looks so similar to my last car, but the button isn't where it used to be."

Small children falling asleep straight away after being read to for approximately three seconds.

Ooh, I do this! I sometimes regret it though, especially with an uncoated paracetamol. 🤢

Adults with children but seem to have endless freedom to go where they like

I do this with tablets.

Closing your laptop lid when someone walks in the room.

Waking up with perfect hair.

When someone is questioned by the police and they say ‘Where were you on March 15th?’
and the person immediately responds without ever having to even think what day it was, consult their diary, calendar of anything.
’I was at the park, alone.’
Average people living in houses which cost an absolute fortune. Not only that but they have expensive renovations and all have huge bi folding windows overlooking large, private gardens.

I do that 😳. I like to feel his beard and his dimples, so I often hold his face while I kiss him. And he’ll do it to me sometimes too, as he’s much taller than me and it’s a nice way to feel connected to him as he leans down to kiss me!

Everyone gathering for breakfast, fully made up and dressed, having time to have run a few errands and stand around chatting before going to school / work.

People with well paid jobs seemingly having plenty of spare hours before work, during the day and after work, to do all sorts of stuff, get up to shenanigans, meet for coffee, exercise etc. before dinner.

30 second timers on explosive devices taking around 10 minutes to count down.

Deciding you’re an alcoholic after one boozy night out.

Never closing curtains at night , then getting ready for bed in full view of the window

@StepAwayFromGoogling they have a little 'reserved' sign in Central Perk! Sometimes you can spot it

Knowing people's phone numbers or having them in your phone when you've only just met them once.

Abandoning drinks in pubs and cafes after a couple of sips.

Having immaculate make-up and hair in bed after a night's sleep.

Constantly talking over someone when it's obvious they've got something important to tell you.

When someone's having a crisis, grabbing their face and shouting "Look at me! Look at me!"

Has anyone ever really done this?

Fabulous homes ( like in the Split) where both parents are high powered lawyers. Everything from breakfast is left in the side when they leave but has miraculously disappeared when they return in the evening. They don't have a nanny, cleaner, ironing person, food delivery blah ,blah . The houses are huge and always immaculate but no one who lives there ever has a nano second to do anything except be hugely high powered.

Hailing a cab by shouting 'Taxi!' as if the driver could hear you.

Spending your entire pregnancy constantly fondling your bump.

Huge fridges thst are heaving with food when only 2 people live there and no one actually ever eats a proper meal at home. They've always got a bottle of wine ready to be opened.

I've actually done the first one!

And as I did it I thought to myself "Fucking hell, that was a bit Ian Beale wasn't it! Glad noone else saw that!"

Cindy Beale leaving Albert Square in the 90s ( I think). She packed the very young twins into a taxi and buggered off to France. She didn't speak a word of French but apparently managed to rent a house, put the children in school and finance her life .

Whole family breakfasting together before school/work !

Women with manacured hair and make up sat at home - especially in the morning.

People enjoying family holidays.

phone rings

"Hallo... yes... OK"

hangs up after 5 seconds

"Right. That was Jones. He's at the marina. Three of Blofeld's men are there but they don't know where he is exactly. The bomb is in the third yacht from the left and the stolen painting is in the harbourmaster's office. The code to disarm the bomb is 8-9-4-2-1. He also wants an egg fried rice with prawn crackers."

And the woman still has a bra on even though they've had mind blowing sex ( Cameron Diaz in the Holiday)

Vomiting 🤮 as a reaction to anything

It happens in every single (modern) movie. I have no idea why or what that adds to the story.