Things that happen in films that don't happen in real life

[LilyAnn13]

1. Sliding down a wall when in emotional distress
2. Swiping everything off the desk when angry
3. Starting to talk about your day when entering the house, before you've even checked if anyone is home e.g "Hi I'm home. You'll never guess what happened to me in the office today...."

Feel free to add.

Drinking out of empty cups.

Yes this! It annoys me every time it happens

People getting jilted at the alter!

Having an empty suitcase that you can pack in 30 seconds to dramatically 'leave'.

outrunning/outflying explosions
alien software compatible with windows....unless Bill Gates is an alien😶

Swinging around coffees which have just been bought and the cups are clearly empty OR handing your guest a freshly made hot coffee and they grab the mug with the palm of their hand which somehow doesn't burn them 🤷‍♀️

I frequently walk in to our house and start ranting about work/life/people before I’ve even seen DH. I know he’s in because his cars on the drive!

This is what I was coming on to say.

The cups are so obviously empty it is silly

Coming down to a full breakfast buffet - grabbing a bottle of water and leaving without having anything.

meeting friends for coffee before school/work - not grabbing a to-go cup but sitting down

So many:
Having several severing bowls of food on the table even though nobody is eating
Keeping bras on during sex andwearing full make up in bed and it’s not even smudged in the morning
Ordering “ a pint” but not saying of what
Never paying for anything
Always getting a seat and a table in a pub/cafe
Amazing kitchen
Being interrogated by the police in public areas

And looking perfect, hair combed blankets neat 30 seconds after giving birth. And never seen anyone struggle with the afterbirth

Dry swallowing tablets - no water, just in the mouth and swallow. Makes me shudder every time.

Never needing a wee as soon as they wake up before having morning sex

Slotting into a parking space exactly outside your destination.

The TARDIS appears in the back garden.

The women are always sex-ready at any given time. Smooth legs, fresh bikini wax, matching sexy underwear.

I mean, obvious ones - zombies, dinosaurs, aliens,

Arranging a perfectly legal last minute wedding without ensuring the correct paperwork, witnesses, celebrant etc. are in place.

Punching someone and it not apparently hurting you at least as much as it hurts them.

Likewise falling several feet to the ground in a chase, getting up entirely unscathed and just.....carrying on racing.

Calling a friend in an emotional emergency and they’re free to meet / come over for a debrief - in reality you’d have to book it in 5-6 weeks in advance, and then one of the kids would probably be poorly so one or the other of you would have to cancel

The innocent party in a high stakes trial is found not guilty purely because their charismatic defense gives a highly emotive closing statement that changes the jury’s minds, despite a guilty verdict looking overwhelmingly likely

Taking your hair down from a high bobble /clip and it just swooshes down rather than standing up sculpturally at an odd angle

Emotionally intelligent men everywhere - where are these guys IRL?

Men who write their gf/wives poems.

Men who sing to the wives at their birthday party.

The police calling to question someone and they carry on washing up/washing the car/ or some other mundane task whilst being questioned.

Breakfast is always a smorgasbord of temptation, all laid out on the (massive) kitchen island. Character takes one piece of dry toast and leaves for school.

People only eat one bite of their dinner before getting so engrossed in the conversation that they never eat the rest.

Overuse of pathetic fallacy. When the couple breaks up they just have to go on a walk through some rain.

Fake weather. Oh god - pretending it's winter by chucking some fake snow on the clearly summer leaves.

Don't get me started 😂😂

"I want to tell you this important piece of information but instead I will just let you walk away without really trying and then we will spend weeks both feeling unsure what is going on..."

Wizards turning up to your relative’s birthday party before enlisting you to go on an adventure which ends up with you having to destroy a ring in Mount Doom.

Pottery sessions with your dead boyfriend.

Having to hide from the mob disguised as a nun in a convent.