Stop calling me Mrs!!!

[everychildmatters]

Drives me mad.
Why the assumption still, in 2025?!!!!
Eurgh!!!!

In the USA it's standard practice that female teachers are addressed as Ma'am. It has far more equal status with the male 'Sir' than the far more junior 'Miss'.

Quite a few defensive Mrs's on here!

Not in the UK it doesn’t.

You didn’t “do this”.

You changed your name and continued to use your birth names. You chose to use 2 names which you’re legally entitled to use and different titles with each. The confusion is understandable because you made it so.

(I booked our honeymoon. 2 weeks of being called Mr Myname showed DH how annoying it is when people make assumptions. ;))

I normally find it annoying how American culture constantly permeates into ours but I would happily swap our stupid system for theirs. Having Ms as a default (and Ma'am as the equivalent to Sir) is far more sensible and respectful. It's 2025, no one needs to be concerning themselves with whether or not a woman is married. Even the French have gotten rid of Mademoiselle now.

Another one. I hate being addressed as Ms. It should be obvious from my wedding ring that I’m married.

@330ml as a genuine question - why is it so important to you that people acknowledge that you're married? There's no equivalent for men they're just Mr.

But it’s irrelevant whether you think referring to married women as Mrs is outdated, if that’s how they WANT to be addressed, it’s disrespectful to call them anything else. I don’t have a problem with anyone referring to me as Ms the first time they either write to me or speak to me if they don’t know my preferences, but if I’ve sent an email to someone signed as Mrs Growly, then I think it’s unacceptable for them to reply and call me Ms. It’s individual preferences that are important, not how other people think you should be addressed.

Different strokes for different folks. I have no desire to hide the fact that I'm married. I also wear a wedding ring, as does my DH.

My title is 'Ms'. For the most part, I've become sick of the whole BS surrounding women's identities and generally use 'Dr' by default.

No issue with what others do, as long as people don't attempt to impose their individual preferences of identity on me. The trouble is that they do. On a more than frequent basis.

This isn't a new thing. I've been married for 17 years. It's far worse now than it was a decade ago, which tells me something.

But it’s irrelevant whether you think referring to married women as Mrs is outdated, if that’s how they WANT to be addressed

But as I said on a previous post, by insisting on keeping Mrs you're forcing all other women to either declare their marital status or have people assume they're either divorced or "difficult" for being a Ms.

A difficult woman.

Now there is a badge I'd wear with pride!

Because I really don’t mind people knowing I am married. Why would I? I am not ashamed of it. I think it also helps prevent potential misunderstandings with men, although it isn’t 100% effective.

I’m not sure it is so important. It Isn’t an issue that consumes my life. I barely give it a thought until I have to correct someone who addresses me as Ms. Sometimes I let it go. It depends on the situation.

I couldn’t care less that there is no equivalent for men. Perhaps there should be.

yanbu op I hate it too, I hate the way it makes a statement about you relationship status whether you’re unmarried/married/possibly divorced?

Men have none of that.

But you’re not forcing women to declare thwir marital status - by having three options, you are giving woman more choice than was the case at the time I got married when Ms was very very rarely used. I don’t think there’s an assumption that choosing to refer to yourself as Ms makes people think you’re divorced or difficult nowadays. Why should someone else dictate to me what title I can or can’t use?

@330ml A certain sort of man will hit on a woman regardless of their marital status. In fact, a certain sort of man may prefer a "Mrs" over a "Ms."
If we were all Ms that issue is partly resolved.
And anyhow, you just use your voice.

I don’t think there’s an assumption that choosing to refer to yourself as Ms makes people think you’re divorced or difficult nowadays

You'd hope so and yet there are people on this thread saying exactly that. And I'm sure many of us have experienced the eyebrow raise when someone asks "Miss or Mrs?" and you reply "Ms". I just want to be able to say my name without people making judgements about my personal life.

I've yet to hear a good argument for keeping Mrs other than "I like it".

Your comparison is wrong.

it would like people calling her nurse when she’s a doctor.
its just inaccurate to refer to someone as Mrs if they don’t subscribe to old fashioned views that women must change their name when they get married.

@EBearhug That’s also ridiculous. Sir and Ma’am are ok in hospitality but not in school. Use the name a teacher prefers. However as I said, many don’t really care and don’t change names at all.

WHY ARE WOMEN THE ONLY ONES TO HAVE TITLES WHICH IDENTIFY THEIR MARITAL STATUS?

You choosing to identify yourself by your marital status (which are rooted in the literal ownership of them by men) means that other women are expected to, hence Miss or Mrs being the default options and Ms being seen as “difficult”.

You don’t live in a vacuum and your support of such sexism affects all the other women too.

@AmIHumanOrAmIAYetiQuite honestly I’m not bothered whether some people see it as sexist. The fact is that historically in the UK we have three generally accepted forms of address for women and one for of address for adult men, and I don’t see how that is ever likely to change while there is still a very significant proportion of married women who refer to themselves as Mrs. I really don’t see why anyone has a problem with what women want to call themselves. I don’t judge anyone who refers to themselves as Ms, and in return I don’t expect to be judged because I chose to take my husband’s name and be a Mrs when I got married. My daughter is married but is still a Miss - that is also her prerogative and is no-one’s business than hers. As I’ve said several times, I’m fine with some referring to me as Ms until they know that I csme myself Mrs - Mrs is part of my name and once someone is aware of that I think it’s just as rude to refer to me as Ms as to get any other part of my name wrong.

You choosing to identify yourself by your marital status (which are rooted in the literal ownership of them by men

That might have meant something years ago, but anyone with half a brain recognises that it means nothing now.

I don’t care if the students call me Mrs or Miss, as long as they are genuinely respectful, which most students are. As the students would say ‘chill’ - I tend to agree.

@citygirl77 What's your title?

@330ml You probably identify yourself by your dad’s name. Or maybe your grandfathers name. Obviously some women didn’t change their names to that of their husband’s, but most did. I’d be inclined to chill too.

WOMEN CAN OWN THEIR OWN NAMES FFS.