Stop calling me Mrs!!!

[everychildmatters]

Drives me mad.
Why the assumption still, in 2025?!!!!
Eurgh!!!!

@Slimagain You're crackers! Mrs is not my legal status! 😆
No - I don't feel the need to declare I'm married - in just the same way as no man does.
Please educate yourself.
Anyway, I think you're definitely pulling my chain so I will leave you to it.

@Slimagain

Civil partnership wasn’t available to straight couples when we married. We did it for the legal protections.

As titles are inherently sexist, and carry no legal weight, I choose to use the one that doesn’t denote my marital status - a freedom my husband also enjoys by default. (Modern day Suffragette-ism, if you will.)

There was no name changing. We don’t wear rings. Still very much legally married.

(I’m amazed that after decades of “women’s lib” there is still such a strong cohort of women determined to keep us beholden to men a la the 1850s. For my daughter and those that follow, fuck that.)

As titles are inherently sexist, and carry no legal weight, I choose to use the one that doesn’t denote my marital status - a freedom my husband also enjoys by default. (Modern day Suffragette-ism, if you will.)

Your husband has no choice. You do.

Who is more free? You or him?

@Slimagain so women are identified in relation to a husband (Miss or Mrs) whereas men are just identified as themselves (Mr). Do you really not see the issue here?

@AmIHumanOrAmIAYeti Totally agree with everything you have said.
Husband and I both added on to double-barrel when we married and to "match" our d-b'd daughter, but had he wanted to retain only his last name then I would have done the same. And there is no way daughter would have just taken his last name.
The sexism of some posters around this just serves to underline that I absolutely made the right choice!

Crackers ? I think maybe you are the one struggling with reality. ‘You don’t feel the need to declare you are married’ ?? So what exactly did you think you were doing when you made your vows, in a specially licensed premises, which by law must be open and accessible to the public ? You made a declaration as required by law that you were single and legally free to marry. The whole point of the way the marriage ceremony is regulated with a registrar /vicar and 2 witnesses in a public place is because you ARE declaring your current single status and publicly declaring that you are now a married woman. The same goes for your husband. He is making the exact same legal declaration.. so ‘not feeling the need to declare I’m married - in just the same way no man does’ is factually incorrect. As your marriage saw you both do exactly that !

I’ve never actually said that Mrs is your legal status. Married is your legal status. Mrs in the English language is the word that denotes a married woman. If you don’t like that - and Miss is just ridiculous as it has its own meaning, which is not relevant to you, then you are stuck with Ms. However as said before - good luck trying to get everyone to remember.

Mrs in the English language is the word that denotes a married woman

@Slimagain This only became the case in the 19th century. Before that Miss and Mrs were equivalent to Master and Mr and just denoted maturity.

Thanks to the sexism of the early 1900s, married women became referred to only in relation to their husband. So Annie Smith became Mrs John Smith. It was at that point Mrs changed from meaning "adult woman" to "wife of". Older unmarried women, particularly those with status, were often referred to as Mrs (rather than Miss) so as not to embarass them.

It's a relic from an incredibly sexist time when unmarried women were stigmatised and married women were not considered people in their own right.

If the public commitment (to significant legal contract) is so important WHY DOESN’T ANYTHING CHANGE FOR MEN AS A RESULT??

And yet the “proud to be Mrs” brigade aren’t out there calling for equal opportunities for their poor husbands not being able to show their bursting pride at having found a woman to legally attach to.

They want it to continue because our (sexist) society pushes a narrative on girls that finding a husband is the ultimate aim and everything else is unimportant. <side eyes Disney>. 🤢

I’m sure men can fight for their own freedoms, if they want to.

I am more concerned about women wanting to take away mine.

@Slimagain We had 15 guests at our wedding - all close family and a select few close friends. We didn't feel we needed to make a big deal of it. We weren't making a "public declaration" as all of our guests already knew we were getting married 😆
And no - I don't need strangers to know if I am married or not. Why should it make a difference in any way, shape or form? And if it does, that's not the sort of person I'm interested in knowing.
I really will never understand the need some women appear to have for everyone around them and that they meet to know they are married. Men don't share that need! Who actually cares?!!!

Well, at least it's another cliche drawn out of the woodwork. 'If you're not going to take on another name and call yourself "Mrs", then what's the point of getting married?'

The point is that you love your partner and want to commit to them for life. That is enough in itself without relinquishing your own identity into the bargain, should you not be of a mind to do this. Marriage gives reassurance thanks to the privileges it brings: the ability to order your legal affairs should something happen to one party. I have little in the way of other family: should I become incapacitated I don't want anyone but my spouse to make decisions in my best interests.

That this is a matter of public record is right; that marriage affords the legal status of a spouse is also right. That this automatically confers the title of 'Mrs' is wrong. There's no legal status attached to titles. I could call myself Professor Sir Mx if I wanted to (drop-down menu options excepted). And anyone can style themselves 'Dr', albeit if you didn't have a doctorate or a medical degree you'd look a total prat.

It's also semantics. Miss, Mrs and Ms are all truncations of the same word of mistress. The custom of differentiating between different combinations of letters designating different marital statuses (or not) is amusingly quaint. I suspect that with the exception of professional titles, in general they'll probably eventually die out in any case.