Stop calling me Mrs!!!

[everychildmatters]

Drives me mad.
Why the assumption still, in 2025?!!!!
Eurgh!!!!

Most people use Mrs (and are proud to) when married. Personally I think Ms sounds awful. I think the use of Ms has worse connotations in many people’s eyes.

I think the use of Ms has worse connotations in many people’s eyes.

What connotations are those?

Oh, do expand. (I mean, others have come and said the same thing on the thread and been quickly dispelled of these positions but it’s not impossible that you won’t say something new.)

And no, most people don’t use Mrs when married. It’s just the ones with vaginas. ;)

Why does Ms sound awful and Mrs not? Both technically unpronounceable . And nobody whinges about Mrs…

Those pesky women daring to assert their own preference of identity, a thing never, ever questioned in men. Put 'em back in their boxes pronto. Or better still, the stocks!

I know I'm like a dog with a bone about this particular issue. I'm not telling what titles others what to use. But if I hadn't received so much pushback on this and on such a personal level, I might not be quite this pissed off. After 17 years of marriage it's getting very old.

Women's identities matter too. Women's identities do, in fact, belong to us. We are well-used by now to being told neither of these things are true; that it's a trivial thing; that it isn't something to get 'worked up' about; that we should have far more important things to worry our little heads about (as if there's only room in a woman's head for one at a time).

Wrong. It may not matter to those people (usually those who've happily rescinded their own names on marriage, as is their right).

But it does matter very much to some of us.

ODFOD, even a thread like this can turn into teacher bashing. It's on my mind as I start a new job in a new school next week and they sent me a letter addressed to Mrs Purple.

Believe you me, I have been working to prepare and not sleeping due to back to school fear!

Are you the OP?

Evidently not. It's now not possible to post on one thread under different user names.

Unless different email account

This. And don’t get me started on people who are “proud” to be Mrs as if it’s some sort of achievement!

I wish people would stop sending letters or cards to Mr and Mrs Mr initial Surname

I mean… Mrs is the default for a married woman? You ARE a Mrs. You’re not a Miss…

@TheGreatWesternShrew You're being ironic, right?! You don't actually believe all married women are Mrs?!!! 😆

Well aren't you special, and rude of course.

You have two choices, correct everyone every time and then you’ll be the one who goes on about not being Mrs, or accept that some people make mistakes, no malice is intended (and you learn to live with it, only pointing the error out to important people) my name is misspelled numerous times every day and I have learned to see past it as I got sick of bringing it up.
Failing that as @DrPrunesqualer suggested there is a third option, the big badge. Or get it printed on a tshirt.

What business is it of yours if other women are happy to be known as Mrs someone. Just because some women don’t like it it doesn’t mean women who do are wrong. They just have a different viewpoint. Personally I think there are far more important things to get worked up about but that’s just my opinion and it doesn’t make it wrong just because you don’t agree. People have the right to request not to be called a particular name or given a particular prefix but equally women have the right to NOT to object to this as well. And it does not make them inferior or wrong.

That is not for you to dictate.

Why is it rude
Its not my name
Im amazed someone would actually consider having one’s own name is ‘being special’. Maybe we should all go back to being Goodwife 🤣🤣😊

Or should I answer to any old name people decide to call me

your post is misguided and rude

They said “proud” not “happy”. Different words with different meanings.

The issue, which I thought was clear, is the assumption that all married women use, or are happy to be referred to as Mrs.

I assume you would be annoyed if someone assumed things about you because other women choose them.

I'm married but didn't change my name or title. I will answer to miss, Mrs, ms my name or his name. As does DH. It's not special and unless people are deliberately being rude I just smile and carry on.
Massive overreaction, it's really not the hill to die on.

There is no default. That’s the fucking point. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Just as it’s not the default that we all wear the same kind of pants, or the same bra size, or work part time, or like scatter cushions, or can’t park, do maths or open jars.

If you had a culturally significant name that people kept mis-pronouncing or mis-spelling, or they told you it was “too difficult” to learn how to say it or spell it, so they were just going to call you “Bob”, and when you complained that your name wasn’t Bob and you don’t want to be known as Bob would “you’re not special” or “you’re overreacting” be fair comments to make?

I have the opposite, I’m in primary and am Mrs but most of the children and parents call me Miss - I don’t mind so much if it’s just “Miss” but I dislike “Miss Surname”.

No one is suggesting it's a hill to die on. It's a point simply necessitating correction, and occasionally the countering of the rudeness quite a few women in this position sometimes navigate. The histrionics on this thread are mostly coming from women who predictably queued up to tell us all how happy they were to take their husbands' names. This wasn't the issue the thread was raising.

I couldn't give a bison's bum what other women call themselves. But expecting the courtesy of being addressed by one's own name really isn't much to ask. The idea upthread that this not uncommon practice is setting itself up as somehow 'special' is the only post to have made me really laugh. Men don't have to ask for this; it's conferred on them by right.

Women have the same right. And it's fairly basic.

You post @SerafinasGoose

actually made me look up bison’s bum. 😆