Stop calling me Mrs!!!

[everychildmatters]

Drives me mad.
Why the assumption still, in 2025?!!!!
Eurgh!!!!

Quite right!

FFS. I've told this story often on female naming threads because it tickled me, even though I'm well aware of the casual everyday sexism underlying it.

I booked 3 seats with United Airlines - Me (Pax 1) Dr Serafinas Goose, DH (Pax 2) Mr Hisname, and Pax 3, DC. My credit card, my name, my title.

When I rechecked the booking I'd been unceremoniously dismissed from my Passenger 1 status - DH now held that exulted position courtesy of being a Mr.

Of course we laughed. You can't not. But well - really?

@SerafinasGoose Yes but God forbid people would think you were actually a single woman(!)

Airline staff addressed the man in front of me once (when checking boarding passes) as "Mr x" and then when they did mine used just my first name.
I always regret not saying something about it at the time.

Well exactly
for shame!

'Miss' is the default in schools. All women are given this 'title' irrespective of status.

This would trouble me less were it not for the obvious disparity in status implied by 'Miss' and 'Sir'. In the US, female teachers are addressed by its equivalent, Ma'am. This is much more respectful and puts women on a completely equal footing with men.

What kind of message does this UK custom give to kids? There's no other interpretation to spin on this. It tells them that women are inferior to men.

Oh, yes. 'Ms' equals divorcee or lesbian. I'd feel no shame in being either 😀

Anyone would almost think the measure of a woman's worth was being able to capture and keep a man!

Maybe we should stop all this sexist crap and always be
Mr
or
Ms

This is the obvious solution. It's impossible to remember every woman's individual preferences around Miss/Mrs/Ms so I don't even bother using titles on envelopes anymore as I'm bound to get it wrong.

The problem is as PPs have said - there are plenty of women who find it very important that everyone knows they're a wife and so will fight at every turn to keep Mrs.

Maybe they should go back to
Goodwife ( dh name )

Ill stick with Ms which refers to a women of independent financial means

So. They called you
Jaws !
Theyd have called me Prune🤣

You have a week to go before start of term and, like every mumsnet teacher, you’ll be working 3am-9pm 7 days a week…. And you’re getting pissed about your class calling you “Mrs”?! Oh dear! Relish these last few days

Why is it more of a problem that some married women want to be referred to as Mrs than others who don’t? Is it really that difficult to accept that different women have different preferences?

Men don’t have a choise so I don’t see why women should

All things should be equal.

As an aside
Did you know if you have a ‘Go Outdoors’ card you can have whatever title you like. when I got one the assistant asked what title I wanted. So for fun we went through all the titles and I chose Duke

I get letters sent to me as Duke ( name). It must really confuse the postman 🤣🤣

Why is it more of a problem that some married women want to be referred to as Mrs than others who don’t? Is it really that difficult to accept that different women have different preferences?

Because women shouldn't have to constantly explain to people whether or not they're married (or divorced or whatever). By insisting on keeping Mrs you're forcing all other women to have to go through pointless and annoying charades like this:

"Sorry it's not Mrs it's actually Ms"
"Oh, so you're not married?"
"Well yes I am but I don't go by Mrs"
"Right ok... <eyeroll>"

Women have had a choice for many many years - I don’t think it would be reasonable to take that choice away from us. If anyone tried to make a single title compulsory, it would be ignored by an huge proportion of women anyway.

Which is fine
It does get over the default titles so often misused by people though. It also gives women more equality which I’m all for

Exactly
The same conversation again and again. It’s actually no one’s business and men don’t have to explain their marital status !

But there will always be a significant proportion of women who want to be known as Miss or Mrs. Whilst I would always use Ms if I know that is someone’s preference or if I don’t know how they like to be addressed, I have never referred to myself as Ms and get very irritated if someone who does know me doesn’t use my chosen title.

If the default is Ms always
Then others can explain their choices away from that.
The use of Miss and Mrs is sexist and really shouldn’t be encouraged.
Everyones choice to deviate though, of course

What 😂

Ms is default. If you want to be something else, make it known. Sorted.

And yet it has worked for men for centuries 🤔

As I said, I use Ms if I don’t know someone’s preferences, and accept that if someone doesn’t know me they are likely to calm me Ms. But once I’ve corrected someone, or they have corrected me, it is extremely rude, for them or me, to continue to use a title that they have said they don’t use.