Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Feminism: chat

Feminism: sex and gender

Original poster

How girls and women dress in western countries *MNHQ adding content warning for SA as requested*

1000 replies

Hadmysay · 20/05/2025 19:54

It's an interesting conversation

www.tiktok.com/@danielle90sbaby/video/7501747121238936854

www.tiktok.com/@meetthealis/video/7503903907920317718. Is this unfeminist to feel like this or do they have a point?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
23
MiloMinderbinder925 · 08/06/2025 18:44

Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 18:27

Your ‘solution’ is to require women and girls to modify their dress and behaviour presumably

Yes I would because women aren't perfect. We have our own issues or should I say demons to overcome just like men. If women are stupidly objectifying themselves and engaging in damaging behaviour because theyve been brainwashed to then your damn right I would tell them to modify their dress.
I mean come on we are fighting for the right for women and young girls to dress like prostitutes for crying out loud.

The females aren’t hurting anyone else - why should they be the ones to change/ be restricted

They are hurting people. There's implications and serious consequences on the wider society. Men,women,boys and girls

Ask yourself why you are not suggesting heavy policing and criminal penalties for men including the banning of porn

Tbf I've always said that IF we banned pornography,implemented a ban on wearing skimpy clothes like some sort of indecency law and had slightly more gender segregation (definitely not everywhere) and taught young boys about consent in schools,rape would decrease drastically but a lot of women like the ones in this wouldnt want it. There would be many women that want their rights to engage in damaging,unhealthy behaviour then complain about the outcome

Show quote history

You're suggesting 'modesty' laws which don't work. You're the equivalent of a nut with a sandwich board ranting on the side of the road.

At no point have you engaged with the information presented or offered any evidence to back up your drivel.

People like you are the problem because you perpetuate harmful myths which prevent victims from coming forward and you teach men not to take responsibility for their behaviour.

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 08/06/2025 18:47

Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 18:27

Your ‘solution’ is to require women and girls to modify their dress and behaviour presumably

Yes I would because women aren't perfect. We have our own issues or should I say demons to overcome just like men. If women are stupidly objectifying themselves and engaging in damaging behaviour because theyve been brainwashed to then your damn right I would tell them to modify their dress.
I mean come on we are fighting for the right for women and young girls to dress like prostitutes for crying out loud.

The females aren’t hurting anyone else - why should they be the ones to change/ be restricted

They are hurting people. There's implications and serious consequences on the wider society. Men,women,boys and girls

Ask yourself why you are not suggesting heavy policing and criminal penalties for men including the banning of porn

Tbf I've always said that IF we banned pornography,implemented a ban on wearing skimpy clothes like some sort of indecency law and had slightly more gender segregation (definitely not everywhere) and taught young boys about consent in schools,rape would decrease drastically but a lot of women like the ones in this wouldnt want it. There would be many women that want their rights to engage in damaging,unhealthy behaviour then complain about the outcome

Show quote history

Do expand on your gender (not sex?) segregation idea. What would that entail?

Original poster
Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 18:53

Bex5490 · 07/06/2025 11:29

I don’t think most ppl here are arguing that wearing next to nothing is some kind of act of empowerment.

The point is more about women’s rights to choose.

Say we go with your theory that women should cover up. How do you intend to police that? What are the consequences for a woman who doesn’t abide by the rules?

And if women (unlike men) have to abide by clothing laws, what other laws begin to seem reasonable?

Should women be bound by law to be married because they’re ‘safer?’

Or only live in certain neighbourhoods?

Or only go out when it’s light?

It’s a dangerous path to go down when you begin to restrict women’s freedoms. And ultimately, men will have you believe that the safest place is covered up and locked away from the world with one of them - when in reality, that’s the place you’re most likely to suffer some kind of sexual abuse.

Sometimes for the greater good of society you have to protect people from themselves hence why we have laws.

OP posts:
pointythings · 08/06/2025 18:55

Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 18:53

Sometimes for the greater good of society you have to protect people from themselves hence why we have laws.

Show quote history

How would you enforce an 'immodest' clothing ban? Fines? Imprisonment? Flogging?

Original poster
Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 19:05

wearyourpinkglove · 07/06/2025 18:34

OP after watching the first video I'm interested as to what is the length of skirt that makes raping a school girl ok? Above the knee? Below the bum cheek? Just so we can clarify when it is the victim's fault. What if they were wearing tight clothes?

It's never ok to rape.
That being said I would google modest fashion if I was you.
Short skirts aren't even practical. You can't sit down properly in them. They blow up in the wind and when you go up the stairs people see your knick knacks.
Also wait till you find out that short skirts came from paedophilia.
This is the problem I have. A lot of women are wearing clothes and dressing a certain way that they don't even know where it came from or the history behind it. The very sleazy history

OP posts:
Original poster
Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 19:07

DennisTheMuppet · 07/06/2025 18:42

Bullshit.

I went to a country like that.

As an 18 year old.

Wearing modest clothing, a long (down to my sandals) wide (not figure hugging) skirt, and a long sleeved t-shirt for sun protection. I have family in that country so know it very well and speak the language.

I was also wearing a sun hat and sun glasses so really pretty fucking covered.

My parents walk a few steps ahead and I was sexually assaulted twice by 2 different men on this walk in the middle of the day in the middle of the city.

I am gobsmacked about the victim blaming and blatant sexualisation of young women and girls this 'discussion'.

Fuck right off OP. Fuck off and don't come back

Show quote history

I went to a country like that

You went to one whole country? Wow. Well done.
Not every muslim country is safe but there are many that are safer

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 08/06/2025 19:10

Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 19:07

I went to a country like that

You went to one whole country? Wow. Well done.
Not every muslim country is safe but there are many that are safer

Show quote history

Muslim countries are generally horrific for women's rights, why do you keep talking about them?

Bex5490 · 08/06/2025 19:10

Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 18:53

Sometimes for the greater good of society you have to protect people from themselves hence why we have laws.

Show quote history

Our laws are put in place to prevent discrimination not enforce them.

Can’t believe I’m biting…

So do you think there are any other laws that should be enforced to protect women from rape?

Forced marriage perhaps ? Or curfews?

Why not go full Handmaids Tale and just lock us up surely that’s the safest place for us?

I really am curious as to what brought you to the feminist board…

Original poster
Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 19:11

DennisTheMuppet · 07/06/2025 20:59

I am saying that this >>>>>>>

Those studies posted earlier on thread defo seem to be suggesting that how people perceive you from your appearance can alter their behaviour toward you.

^ is bullshit. Men rape and sexually assault because they want to and they can,
whether the person they assault is wearing modest fashion or not. Men like this also rape men, boys and yes goats, ponies, dogs and whatever else they choose. Are these poor animals supposedly wearing suggestive clothing? Looking at the sexual predator in a suggestive way? I'm afraid burkas do not prevent rape, nor does wearing jeans or long modest dresses.

Also when western women go to places like Egypt they are at increased risk.
Probably for whole range of factors. But how the women dress has nothing to do with it. As I shared a personal example of being sexually assaulted while walking a few steps behind my parents wearing completely modest clothing simply because I was female and because they wanted and could. My boring clothing did not encourage them. Such victim blaming.

I am glad some of OP's messed up posts are being deleted by MN now.

Show quote history

So Dennis the Muppet the studies being posted are wrong?

OP posts:
WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 08/06/2025 19:26

Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 18:53

Sometimes for the greater good of society you have to protect people from themselves hence why we have laws.

Show quote history

What kind of laws? What punishments ? How would they be enforced?

No trousers allowed? Only long , flowy skirts and dresses? Obviously no strappy vests or sweetheart necklines or bardot shoulders for tops right?

Curfews?

Women banned from certain jobs ?

Mandatory women only spaces ?

No drinking allowed? Make up? Heels?

Designated routes?

No going out without a chaperone?

How much exactly should women sacrifice for safety?

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 08/06/2025 19:30

Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 19:05

It's never ok to rape.
That being said I would google modest fashion if I was you.
Short skirts aren't even practical. You can't sit down properly in them. They blow up in the wind and when you go up the stairs people see your knick knacks.
Also wait till you find out that short skirts came from paedophilia.
This is the problem I have. A lot of women are wearing clothes and dressing a certain way that they don't even know where it came from or the history behind it. The very sleazy history

Show quote history

Source for that?

pointythings · 08/06/2025 19:31

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 08/06/2025 19:30

Source for that?

Show quote history

Yeah, I'd be interested in seeing that too.

Original poster
Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 19:33

pointythings · 07/06/2025 21:23

@MagicMichaelCaine I think you're missing the point. This isn't about whether or not what women are wearing affects their risk of getting raped. It's about the simple fact that IT SHOULDN'T.

Men need to learn not to rape. What that will take, I don't know. And frankly I don't care. If it means kicking a convicted rapist in the nuts every day, let's do it. They're the ones committing the crime, they're the ones who should make the change. Not their victims.

Men need to learn not to rape

I mean that's quite obvious isn't it.
But good luck telling rapists this.

OP posts:
pointythings · 08/06/2025 19:35

Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 19:33

Men need to learn not to rape

I mean that's quite obvious isn't it.
But good luck telling rapists this.

Show quote history

Well, instead of penalising women, let's get with the much stronger punishments for men. And that needs to be all over the world. You rape? Life in prison, end of. Modesty laws aren't the answer, punishing the actual criminals is.

Original poster
Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 19:38

MagicMichaelCaine · 08/06/2025 03:18

You say that rape is about power not sex. But then your first source says:

Evolutionary biologist Randy Thornhill and evolutionary anthropologist Craig Palmer believe that the primary motive behind rape is indeed sex. They argue that rape is an adaptation — a result of Darwinian selection and are of the opinion that it evolved to increase the reproductive success of men. They point out that most victims are women of childbearing age, saying this supports their hypothesis that rape derives from a desire to reproduce.

Show quote history

You can't make this up.
She doesn't even know what she's posting and that what she is posting is going against her argument.

OP posts:
MiloMinderbinder925 · 08/06/2025 19:39

Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 19:38

You can't make this up.
She doesn't even know what she's posting and that what she is posting is going against her argument.

Show quote history

You obviously haven't read the study. Talking about making stuff up, any chance you back up any of your assertions with facts?

pointythings · 08/06/2025 19:45

MiloMinderbinder925 · 08/06/2025 19:39

You obviously haven't read the study. Talking about making stuff up, any chance you back up any of your assertions with facts?

Show quote history

And also any suggestions for how you would like to enforce modesty laws without being utterly misogynist and oppressive?

Original poster
Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 19:48

pointythings · 08/06/2025 18:27

Have you been to clubs in the UK and seen what men wear? Bet you haven't.

As for your 'percentages' - you're going to have to do a lot better than random Wikipedia pages. You do realise that I could hop onto Wikipedia and write a lot of information, don't you?

Show quote history

Men wear far more in clubs than women.
Or are you just going to lie to everyone including yourself.

OP posts:
pointythings · 08/06/2025 19:51

Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 19:48

Men wear far more in clubs than women.
Or are you just going to lie to everyone including yourself.

Show quote history

I'm going on my eldest DD's experience here, not mine.

Any answers on how you would police your wonderful modesty laws?

Bex5490 · 08/06/2025 19:57

Good question @pointythings .

@Hadmysay How would you enforce your modesty laws and what would the consequences for breaking these laws be?

Bex5490 · 08/06/2025 19:59

Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 19:48

Men wear far more in clubs than women.
Or are you just going to lie to everyone including yourself.

Show quote history

Go to any House music rave and the men will most likely be sweaty and shirtless.

I’ve never seen a woman’s nipples out in a nightclub but I’ve seen plenty of men’s.

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 08/06/2025 20:45

Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 19:48

Men wear far more in clubs than women.
Or are you just going to lie to everyone including yourself.

Show quote history

Still waiting for those sources that short skirts were the product of pedophiles.

Original poster
Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 20:57

WhenYouSayNothingAtAll · 08/06/2025 18:47

Do expand on your gender (not sex?) segregation idea. What would that entail?

Show quote history

Well for a start I would seperate the genders at school. Girls go to girls schools,boys go to boys.
Too much testosterone,half nakedness and hormones.
There was a study done last year that said that the biggest victims of rape were 14 year old girls. Mostly committed by their male peers.
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2024/09/20/14-year-old-girls-most-common-group-report-rape/

I would also have women only carriages on trains and tubes. Here's a video on them.
https://www.tiktok.com/@danawang/video/7387355882255928594

In big restaraunt chains I would make it law that they have to have women only seating area.
I went to a Somalian restaraunt last month and they had this. Women had their own seperate room where they ate.

Some of the government based better gyms I would make women only as well

TikTok - Make Your Day

https://www.tiktok.com/@danawang/video/7387355882255928594

OP posts:
Original poster
Hadmysay · 08/06/2025 20:58

MiloMinderbinder925 · 08/06/2025 18:44

You're suggesting 'modesty' laws which don't work. You're the equivalent of a nut with a sandwich board ranting on the side of the road.

At no point have you engaged with the information presented or offered any evidence to back up your drivel.

People like you are the problem because you perpetuate harmful myths which prevent victims from coming forward and you teach men not to take responsibility for their behaviour.

Show quote history

If they can work for kuwait they can work for us.
Truth be told you probably just don't want it to work

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In
This thread is not accepting new messages.
Swipe left for the next trending thread