I think boys and young men don’t just need positive role models, they also need instruction on how to integrate their sexuality into their person. Male and female sexuality is different- whatever the cause, whether it’s more testosterone or whatever it is- male sexuality is a) more externally focused and b) more aggressive (I know NAMALT and some women are like this too, but vastly, in the majority it is like this). That’s why there are examples of men having sex with animals, trees, inanimate objects, children- and some of these perversions aren’t exactly infrequent. Vastly, in the main, this is not a female problem.
The job of growing up as a man is to teach young men self-restraint. Women also obviously need self control but in a different way. The task for young men is to reign their sexual impulses in, and to channel these energies into productive and good tasks- the prevalence with which men tend to engage in physical sports is a good means of this. One of the big problems however is the way in which our society teaches young men to masturbate- it is teaching them not to control their sexual impulses, but to release it as and when they like. The outcomes of this- pornography and other sexual depredations- aren’t hard to see the link.
Andrew Tate isn’t the problem as such- he merely represents a means of unleashing male impulses- not being ashamed or not having to control yourself. The problem with uncontrolled male sexual impulses is that they invariably result in the oppression of those against whom they are unleashed- women and children. All men go through this, and it is incumbent upon men to raise their sons in a different way. It’s not about dads being engaged or providing or loving or whatever else- these are good things and by far preferable to the alternative- but dads have a duty to train their sons in self control and self denial. The alternative is the oppression of those around them, and I think many men who have grown up in a culture that has slowly and imperfectly trained them a) don’t realise what’s happened and b) don’t always see the connection.
I think men also have the problem of being embarrassed- it isn’t easy to talk about these things with your kids. Not even to mention how horrified and embarrassed the kids will be in the same context. It’s a long and complex process that isn’t just tied to sexuality. Achieving a level of balance and self control as a man has repercussions for how you experience anger, and the ability to suffer for those you love.
Where our society values less and less the impetus to suffer and deny yourself, the outcome is men who more and more have problems with anger, violence, sexual perversion and other emotional instability. The problem is men are a) more physically powerful than women and b) socially dominant. The outcome of these factors means that when men are disregulated like this, those who are weaker and vulnerable to them will suffer. Men have to know that their first priority is to suffer for those they love and to deny themselves. It’s a hard task, and having someone like Andrew Tate who advertises the opposite- don’t suffer, don’t control yourself, let yourself feel the full extent of your power and morbid passions- it’s enticing to boys and young men who haven’t yet learned the horror and the shame of the damage they can cause.