Disown by mum friends who I have known for 20 years due to my gender critical view.

[rouxelitee]

I am a bit sad today because I have been disowned by my group of friends who are mothers. I have known them since college. All of us have children, mine is a toddler.

One of them is a paediatrician. Let's call her JY. She supports the trans-movement for children. Recently she has shared an article with the whatsapp chat group on sexual and relationship saying that this should be how children are parented. https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/sex-relationships/
I didn't agree with the gender and identity section and I called it out. I said that affirming children in this matter will make things worst. The conversation escalated and she basically cautioned me that this is hate speech and if a doctor have the same view as I do, their license will be taken.

Fast forward to today, my partner and I are have been researching on local schools and their policies on the same matter, preparing ourselves for when our child is of school age. We found out that this school in Leicester has the following policy.

7.3 In accordance with the Equality Act 2010 we will not inform a parent or carer about a student being Trans or gender questioning.
7.4 Confidential information will not be shared with the parents and carers without a student’s permission, unless there are safeguarding reasons for doing so.
_
https://www.newcollege.leicester.sch.uk/force_download.cfm?id=3190

I felt that this is such a massive red flag, that I need to warn all my friends to look into their school policies.

JY then said "Much as I value our friendship, I do not have headspace to engage in these issues. I'll bow out of this group." A few others followed and quit the chat group.

They will possibly not talk to me ever again. I am very sad and I feel very alone in this matter, and that my partner and I and alone in this battle alone trying to protect our child from the state, the school and dangerous ideology.

I guess I just want to not feel like a crazy person shouting on top of my lungs "please look into this, this is bad".

Thanks,
roux

Yes but what does their identity have to do with being a woman?

Your posts are nonsensical. The difference between an anorexic man and a man who is not anorexic is not “costume”,

Projection much. I’m talking about affirmation.

Why aren’t you answering any questions? More side stepping than a dance floor.

it is their recognition/ understanding of self as female / a woman/ girl , despite being born male, that makes them trans.

So why do trans women wear dresses, make up, have long hair, wear high heels?

Again, can biological women be trans women?

Yet they have no understanding except what they can see. It's a pretence. Are we allowed to talk about the three types of TW?

I imagine it would be very dangerous for most trans people to be “out” other than within very close personal circles. But I do not know much about the context.

Finally! So you acknowledge they are men. The end.

🙄🤦🏼‍♀️

But you can't be female/a woman/a girl "despite being born male. Being born male means you are not and never will be any of those things.

It's arrogant and offensive because they are identifying as being one of us and we get no say in the matter.

They're saying, "I get to be in your toilets/changing rooms/showers/rape crisis groups/sporting categories because I've decided I should be included because of how I identify and how you feel is irrelevant."

I don't recall being asked whether I share any kind of identity with trans women.

I don't. I have no idea what they are identifying with.

If I said I identify as having a Y chromosome, in this batshit world where people are afraid to speak the truth people would lie to my face and say, "Well done, live your best life!" but I still would not be a person with a Y chromosome. The difference is that I wouldn't be harming anyone with a Y chromosome.

I'm pretty sure the data shows that trans people don't suffer higher rates of violent crime than anyone else. That's a myth oddly parroted by the trans community themselves.

Happy to be corrected by anyone with the latest data.

But you can't be female/a woman/a girl "despite being born male.

Who says? You? Why?

Christ on a bike, Tandora.

It's incredibly dangerous to be A WOMAN in Afghanistan. The problem is that we can all see what sex someone is, so if you are a woman in Afghanistan you can't identify out of your own oppression, whereas if you are a trans woman in Afghanistan you can just put the man costume on, can't you?

Which does rather suggest that it is in fact a costume, doesn't it?

Because humans can't change sex, Tandora. No mammal can.

Yes to this.
But also, honestly, OP: good riddance. You obviously can't see it now (I wouldn't in your shoes), but you had nothing to gain from being their friend.

It's arrogant and offensive because they are identifying as being one of us and we get no say in the matter.

So basically you just want the right to other trans people? And you can’t see that this is transphobic.

Again. The existence of trans women is not a threat to your personhood. You do you. They just want you to let them be who they are too.

Can you identify as being a different age? What about race? If you really really feel you are?

But some trans people want us to believe they are actually the sex they say they are. They want access to single sex spaces. This isn't live and let live.

Trans women are "other", Tandora, they are literally the other sex, and yes, it is absolutely essential to our own rights and safety that we are able to identify them as being what they in fact are.

They're welcome to be whoever they are wherever they like except in spaces and sporting categories which were set up for the express purpose of excluding people of their biological sex. And they're welcome to identify as whatever the hell they like as long as they're not trying to include four billion women who don't want to be included in their identity, or appropriating a word for their identity which already belongs to another group which they are not part of.

I mean, can you even hear yourself, @Tandora ? You're literally saying I shouldn't have the right to say I don't identify as being the same as trans women.

You keep saying this phrase, but what does it actually mean? And Who the fuck cares? And why?

Trans women recognise and understand themselves to be women, despite their bodies. This is their reality. This is what it is to be trans. This is not the least bit superficial and it’s typically not something that can be changed. We can accept this. We can recognise and understand trans women as women, just as they recognise and understand themselves. Lots of us do. It’s not only possible, but perfectly easy. And it’s the only just thing to do. This is what matters. Not your discursive philosophising about the immutability of “sex”.

if you accept trans people for who they are , and learn to be ok with that, your world will not collapse. Your identity will not dissolve. You will still be a woman and everyone will still know what that means , I promise,

No one ever said you have yo identify as being the same as a trans woman: you are not the same . You are not a trans woman. No one is telling you who you are or who you have to be, they are simply asking you to accept who they are

They can recognise themselves to be anything they want but no, ‘we’ don’t have to recognise them as that - women - if we don’t want to. We don’t have to be compelled to believe and comply with something that is fundamentally untrue. We also don’t have to accept them into our sex segregated spaces and sports as they aren’t women in that sex, or any sense, except to them.

Many people don't like being compelled to indulge a sexist delusional male demanding access to female spaces.

I think that's fair enough.

It's established that being trans is a belief not a fact.

They can recognise themselves to be anything they want

No. they really can’t . Being trans is not a choice.

You are absolutely right that you do have a choice . You can chose to accept trans people’s lived realities and be ok with them , or you can chose to deny , reject and exclude them. That is your privilege- that is your choice.

Trans people do not have that privilege- they do not have that choice. They cannot choose whether or not to be trans.