Disown by mum friends who I have known for 20 years due to my gender critical view.

[rouxelitee]

I am a bit sad today because I have been disowned by my group of friends who are mothers. I have known them since college. All of us have children, mine is a toddler.

One of them is a paediatrician. Let's call her JY. She supports the trans-movement for children. Recently she has shared an article with the whatsapp chat group on sexual and relationship saying that this should be how children are parented. https://www.nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/sex-relationships/
I didn't agree with the gender and identity section and I called it out. I said that affirming children in this matter will make things worst. The conversation escalated and she basically cautioned me that this is hate speech and if a doctor have the same view as I do, their license will be taken.

Fast forward to today, my partner and I are have been researching on local schools and their policies on the same matter, preparing ourselves for when our child is of school age. We found out that this school in Leicester has the following policy.

7.3 In accordance with the Equality Act 2010 we will not inform a parent or carer about a student being Trans or gender questioning.
7.4 Confidential information will not be shared with the parents and carers without a student’s permission, unless there are safeguarding reasons for doing so.
_
https://www.newcollege.leicester.sch.uk/force_download.cfm?id=3190

I felt that this is such a massive red flag, that I need to warn all my friends to look into their school policies.

JY then said "Much as I value our friendship, I do not have headspace to engage in these issues. I'll bow out of this group." A few others followed and quit the chat group.

They will possibly not talk to me ever again. I am very sad and I feel very alone in this matter, and that my partner and I and alone in this battle alone trying to protect our child from the state, the school and dangerous ideology.

I guess I just want to not feel like a crazy person shouting on top of my lungs "please look into this, this is bad".

Thanks,
roux

It's not hypothetical. This is insulting to women.

Women have been raped, both in and out of prison, because of the ideology you support.

Female rape survivors have been denied appropriate counselling because of the ideology you support.

Countless women have lost out on sporting opportunities and victories, and some have been seriously injured, because of the ideology you support.

Children with complex mental health needs have been subjected to irreversible physical and psychological harm because of the ideology you support.

Your beliefs are harmful and the victims are numerous.

Trans people, on the other hand, are not actually harmed by our refusal to believe in gender woo. They might be upset by it, but that's not the same as being harmed by it.

Describing the arguments we are making as "hypothetical" is grossly insulting to the very real people who have been harmed in very real ways because of this.

why men with special feelings trump women

perfect example of the types of nonsense straw men.

Prove me wrong then.

all of this is warped and wrong

You said yourself that you think sport should be categorised by gender, not sex.

That means people like Lia Thomas get to compete in women's categories on the basis of their own subjective feelings, and any women who disagree are told to go fuck themselves.

So it's not a straw man, it's entirely accurate.

Show your working or sit down.

You really do think people answer to you on your terms don’t you

What's your position on Lia Thomas? Should women give up their sports for a man?

It's a straightforward question.

You said yourself that you think sport should be categorised by gender, not sex.

I believe I was answering about bathrooms and changing rooms actually.

I think answering at least something defending your position would be a good start.

I don’t think trans people are a threat to women’s sports . The facts don’t support that: i think this is a massively exaggerated issue fuelled by transphobia.

OK, so can you clarify your position in relation to sport?

Do you think biological males should be able to compete in women’s sports? Yes or no?

Do you think male people who identify as female should be allowed to compete in women's sports? Yes or no.

I don’t think trans people are a threat to women’s sports .
More broadly , how should sports be organised? I don’t really know what it think about that.

On what do you base that?

Do women not deserve to be in their own teams?

How many trans women can be on a woman's team before it's no longer a woman's team.

Somebody will come up with the accurate figure but it's something like 5000 winning places have been taken by men.

Do you not agree that men have a biological strength advantage over women?

I do weights. My slight 85 year old father is still stronger than me.

Why are so many people commenting and saying "your child won't be attending for another decade etc? The op said she was researching schools, not secondary schools, not colleges. Schools. I dont know about the rest of you but where I come from, kids start school at 5, not 12. I started looking at schools for my DS when he was about 3. Sorry to derail.

I think the current rules applied by sporting bodies like the Olympics are fine

You're not answering the question.

I didn't ask whether you personally think trans people are a threat to women's sport or not. I asked whether you think male people should be allowed to compete in women's sports on the basis of their subjective gender identity.

That’s sad for you, OP, but I would find your views very difficult to tolerate in my friendship group.

You’ll find a lot of people on here who agree with them, and affirm them; but I would also distance myself from someone with such prejudice views.

I don’t think you should look deeply into the internet to get your hate echoed back at you, I think that’s probably the problem.

I like mumsnet for so many reasons, but am ashamed that I use it (and don’t admit it publicly) because of the transphobic rhetoric constantly debated on here (a side of mumsnet that I usually stick my fingers in my ears and avoid - apart from this post apparently!).

You’ve not been asked about the current rules applied by sporting bodies like the Olympics.

Do you think biological men should be able to compete in women’s sports?

They let Laurel Hubbard steal the Olympic dreams of a young female athlete from a developing country, and they let two boxers who had been disqualified from women's boxing compete on the basis that it said "F" in their passports without doing any independent verification whatsoever, so clearly the IOC is a fucking shambles in this area.

Again, I don’t have to answer your questions on your terms. You’ve asked your questions; I’ve offered my answers.
Do I think the current rules at the olympics are ok? Yes. Do I think this is the best way of organising sport- I don’t know:

What's your definition of transphobia? It's important to define it. Do you mean you believe men can become women if they say so?

You've offered answers to the questions you wanted to answer, not the questions you were actually asked.

Unfortunately for you this is a discussion board. We can't force you to discuss the issue in good faith but we are entitled to draw our own conclusions about your refusal to do so.