They hate us don’t they?

[Dargawn]

I notice all over social media that when it comes to taking the piss or highlighting a particular annoying type of character then ppl will default to the feminine. So, it might be a meme taking the piss out of the office gossip. It’s a woman; or doing an impression of that annoying jobsworth in the corner, it’s ‘Brenda’. Or focusing on a ‘gullible lefty’, then it’s a ‘women’s studies’ lecturer; or someone who is fake - always a woman, or a gold digger - always a woman.

like all the contempt in the world is directed at women.

Gay men do it, straight men do it, old men do it, young men do it.

they hate us don’t they?

'Women have very little idea of how much men hate them.' Germaine Greer. That quote is popping into my mind quite a lot at the moment.

I find it so sad. We don’t do anything to deserve it. It’s based on their feelings towards us and not anything that we do wrong.

In any man’s life, some women have the power to make them feel good or bad. They either idolise or hate them depending on the situation.

all the rest of us are othered. Literally ignored or degraded, again depending on the situation.

they really do not see any point in us other than to make them feel good or have their kids.

and there’s nothing we can do about it

idolised, despised, ignored.

So true. Hags by Victoria Smith is all about this, the demonisation of the older woman. It's a way to divide and rule so the young fertile fuckable women can be made to feel different and special. Until they too become a hag.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6bsETqqLek/?igsh=MWY5a294emU0andmcA==

so don’t know if you can see it, but this is a prime example. Why ‘Brenda’, depicting a middle age, white woman’ when this guy is young and Asian? Why doesn’t he use something closer to home? Why is this demographic such easy pickings?

then this guy ‘Martin decoder’ on YouTube. Apparently he can see ‘through the veneer’ but only it seems of women. There are not enough lying, deceiving men around for him to case. He’ll be getting at Taylor swift soon.

Anyway, you don’t need me to point out misogyny on the net it’s everywhere. But today it feels especially raw.

im a very experienced and capable team leader at work. One of the guys, polite and friendly on the face of it, will not deal with me, bypasses me and goes straight to my male boss. I’ve called it out to my boss who just says ‘we need to deal with it’ but then doesn’t actually back me up as obviously to him it’s no big deal, the guys just stick together. He has t said that but I know it’s what he thinks and secretly I think my boss sympathises with him. That’s what they do. They stick together.

we need nem to see us as necessary, beyond procreation.

at the moment there are no drawbacks to the way they treat us, other than the fact they may not get laid. And god they hate that fact, that we have that power over them.

because of the way society is organised, men need men and women need men, but other than biological reasons, men don’t need women.

they believe that if men were wiped off the face of the earth, women would die out due to our incompetence. But if women were wiped off the face of the earth they’d be ok, carry on thriving and just fuck robot dolls instead.

this is the sad truth of it I fear. We need to make ourselves indispensable somehow, so that they have to think well of us like they think well of each other. otherwise there is no incentive for men to change.

thoughts?

Similar to Germaine Greer’s quote I always remember the quote about Hilary Clinton running against Obama for the nomination about a certain segment of the electorate “they may hate black people but they hate women even more”. A shocking thing to say in every respect.

can you go over your own bosses head to sort this out? He’s had his chance and done nothing, I’d be taking it to the next level

I cannot as he owns the company (small family business)

What you look for you're certain to find...

I think this is a bit silly - people take the piss out of men too 🙄

There's another one you see a lot, where a man is doing a contemptible woman character in a little bit about something, by crudely adding a wig and a cardigan, say, alongside his beard - not a real attempt to dress as a woman in full but just look ridiculous while being this contemptible character so, for no reason justfied by the content (eg it doesn't have to be a woman, and if it did it didn't have to be a man "playing" her) you get this constant reinforcement of woman = ridiculous looking = contemptible.

Women don’t really take the piss though, out of men or women.

we go through life largely behaving ourselves, keeping a lie profile, whilst men display the most extreme behaviour.

but the piss taking by men and always making the petty, vain, narrow minded character a woman is disproportionate. They talk about us like we’re despicable. It wouldn’t be so bad if they championed us sometimes and lauded us a bit to balance it out, but that never happens.

why pick on us? What have we ever done? Laugh at your own sex and the state it gets itself into and leave us alone!

Women don’t really take the piss though, out of men or women.

Eh? Of course they do. Dawn French, Miriam Margolyes, Ruby Wax, Kathy Burke, Sue Perkins, Victoria Wood, Sarah Millican. These aren't women who go through life largely behaving themselves or keeping a low profile.

I'm not defending men, but to say women don't take the piss is doing the above and many other millions of women who are very sharp, funny and spot on a total injustice.

Also, it's true to say that men laugh at other men always have, always will. HIGNFY, Reeves & Mortimer, Bill Bailey, Harry Enfield.....constantly taking the piss out of men.

If you go looking for arseholes on social media you will find them. Real people in the real world are much more balanced (on the whole than you are making out.

Something that really really hit home for me with this was that horrible Baby Reindeer.
Everyone hates her, not the man. I couldn't shake the feeling that if she had been 10 years younger and slim he would have had no qualms dating her. It was how she looked that stopped him. It is because she is a woman, fat and not attractive everyone is choosing to target her. She is the automatic recipient of hate because how could she possibly ever think he might fancy her!

That’s a bummer @Dargawn does the boss not see what position this leaves you in when he effectively rides roughshod over you and your role

"because of the way society is organised, men need men and women need men, but other than biological reasons, men don’t need women."

I'm sure a lot of men do think like this, because they simply have no ability to put themselves into anyone else's shoes. They don't see the work we do, paid and unpaid. The fights we stop, the situations smoothed over. The emotional intelligence. The family caring, for young and old, that they don't have to learn to do for the entirety of our lives.

I think Invisible Women should be on the reading list in all schools for GCSE under civics or whatever they call general studies these days. Or at least have parts of it for set pieces across the board; it applies to economics, history, geography, sociology, psychology - all of it could be improved if they actually listened to what we do and have to deal with.

I don't think the way these men are treating you is universal and I think maybe you should find a better job rather than trying to make yourself indispensable to men who will never acknowledge your value. Also, maybe it's worth finding some strong women in your field through networking to help build you up. You sound quite defeated and resigned but this company doesn't deserve you and there are other organisations where you won't be treated like this.

Thank you posters, I do really feel down today about it. It has helped hearing your views. i think I feel a bit despairing. I am at that point where once you see it, you can’t stop seeing it and then slowly it dawns on you what the reality is and how as a woman i will always have to swim upstream.

i will feel better tmrw hopefully. I actually have the power to sack the guy at work (he’s freelance so no contract) but I’m finding it hard to find a replacement. I just need to look forward to serving up that nice and cold and the look on his face when I do. My boss although too lazy to try and put things right at least affords me that power.

well as soon as you get a replacement that works for you, do it. This carries on because too often there are no ways to exact penalties.

True. I was a bit surprised by OP because most of what I see online is aimed at men. Gammons (red faced, angry men), snowflakes, "soy boys", nerds, etc. Almost always default male.
Sure men do it a lot, they are brought up to banter, but you only have to look at comments sections on facebook to see women doing it too.
It's confirmation bias.

Look at this though. This is a good example of how they just don’t see us.

I agree women do give as good as they get but there is still something that doesn’t sit right with me over choice of ‘victim’.

there seems to be a reflex action against women just being women - take Taylor swift as a good example.

there isn’t much that she does wrong apart from be a billionaire. Compare her to say Mark Zuckerberg and how she is scrutinised for her carbon emissions etc whilst MZ remains under the parapet silently screwing with children’s minds etc. if the roles were reversed, TS would probably be in prison and MZ a country singer lauded by everyone as a great guy.

I am probably overreacting but I don’t think on a mass level guys get flack like women do,L.

for every gammon there are ten Karen’s , and the Karen’s are hated for being a bit entitled whereas the gammons are hated for crimes against humanity.

for every gammon there are ten Karen’s , and the Karen’s are hated for being a bit entitled whereas the gammons are hated for crimes against humanity.

This last bit is rubbish. You are just being very selective.
Gammons are hated for .. acting a bit gammony. Complaining about electric cars, for example.
Was the woman who called the police on a black man minding his own business "a bit entitled"?
Don't cherry pick.
Either way, I don't see 10 Karens to 1 Gammon, more the other way round.

The fact that a lot of men don't/won't read books by women shocked me.

It’s everywhere- big and small. Even on a jar of marmalade!

yes I remember seeing that marmalade! Could not believe it that they named it after the son and not the mum!

Ok well I guess it depends on what the algorithm is serving up to you. But if I’m cherry picking then so might you be??