Men annoyed when women take up space

[lovelypidgeon]

I'm not really sure why I'm posting this- just wanting to vent and discuss with people who won't minimise or tell me it could have happened to a man too.

I have truly had enough of men expecting me (and other women) to prioritise them and trying to intimidate me when I don't. This morning, I was filling my car up at the petrol station and the man who had been filling his car behind me was pissed off that I did not move as soon as he was ready. He got out of his car to tell me I was in his way and that he needed to get to work so I needed to stop what I was doing and move my car (with lots of swearing thrown in). I remained calm and told him that I was almost done but the fact that I was not shocked and submissive seemed to irritate him even more. At one point he said 'Am I going to have to take your keys off you and move it myself?' I told him that if he did, I would call the police, and took a photo of him and his car reg. He told me to go ahead, and to make sure I told them what a fucking cunt I was, then called me a stupid fucking bitch.

Before I had finished filling my car he left the forecourt by just reversing slightly and going past me (which he could have done from the start). Which I think makes it pretty clear that this was not about me holding him up, but me having the audacity to be a middle aged woman in his way. There were quite a few other people around but no-one said a word. I'm pretty sure that he will go off to work and tell his mates about the stupid bitch that blocked him in and had to be told. I also know that if I speak to people IRL about this many will either question whether I was in the wrong to be where I was, or tell me that I should have just stopped what I was doing and got out of the way to avoid an argument.

I am livid, and exhausted with this shit. I'm not sure why this has got to me so much- it's hardly the first time I've encountered this sort of thing. But I really feel like we're in a bad place when a woman can't go to a petrol station in daylight without being intimidated by a man whilst other men pretend they can't see what's happening. I want to do something about this (in general, not just this one incident) but can't actually think of anything that will make a blind bit of difference. What do other people do?

I feel like Rik thinks they’ve got a ‘win’ with their posts somehow, but I’m fucked if I know what it is. They just come across as trying to be condescending but missing the mark a bit.

I wonder how someone who thinks ‘jog on’ is aggressive would cope with some of the actually aggressive interactions other posters have described?

I hate this behaviour. It's always directed at women, no way would he suggest moving a man's car for them. I was given a good handling tip - when he has finished his tirade, pause a moment then say calmly "Your breath smells. You should do something about that" and turn on your heel.

ComethespringLobelia
I call that pavement chicken, love it, cant stand gangs of teenagers hogging the whole width of the pavement

Being told to "fuck off" at work on Saturday, being called "a cunt" at work on Saturday? Both times by drunk men bigger than me. I can cope.

Asking a civilised question on a thread which doesn't actually add up and being told to "jog on" IS an aggressive response. Now go after the female posters who have also questioned the story.

Yes, men are aggressive to women and it is truly fucking awful, but don't for one moment think that men are safe from it

You'd think that on a thread like this, posters might be a little less...vile

Crimsonpeak , if it happens again just say you are going to be sick out of the window and if he prefers you could do it on him!!

All the times I've been tailgated it has been by a man . I do believe they have some way of knowing it's a female driving either by the type of car or maybe long hair gives It away ? I've never had a woman tailgate me or shout obscenities when they over take me because I won't break the speed limit .

Not same situation but similar. I was on a train and was in the quiet couch, it hadn't been 'quiet' at all the whole time. Young lads drinking and multiple middle aged men talking loudly on the phone. When I decided to quickly call my mum very quietly this man got into my face on shouting at me about how it was a quiet couch, waving his finger in my face , leaning over me (any closer he would be getting a preemptive strike). Well he messed with the wrong woman, called him a misogynistic old so and so, told him he didn't have the balls to confront the men being extremely loud all journey but decided to pick on a woman. He couldn't answer and face went bright red especially when whole train heard his antics and I done the fingers at him when I got off and he continued on his journey 😂

I've had it in the supermarket, older man shoving me in the bum with their trolley in the queue (only in Waitrose though- never anywhere else!) or sighing loudly or tutting if they perceive me to take a second longer paying or packing than they deem necessary. It definitely doesn't make me go any faster, that's for sure.

The only person who has ever shouted at me at the petrol station though was a woman. She thought I hadn't pulled forward to the pump at the front and yelled at me from the car. At that station there is no front pump though as it's small. She did apologise to me in the shop though. I'd ignored it as TBH wasn't until she spoke to me in the shop that I understood what she was going on about though or realised it was directed at me, I thought it was someone just having a loud phone conversation.

@Deathbyfluffy
I think you're both over-thinking a common scenario - in my experience men and women both deviate from their path equally to avoid a collision.
I'm a man, and there's no way I'd just plough into people walking towards me - I certainly don't expect it, and to assume we all do is rather sad really*

Or you could also just believe what women here are telling you: that there are plenty of men that plough through women because they feel more important.

I do something similar, only I stand still before they bump into me. I then remark: how on earth could you miss me standong still here? For clarification: I'm a 5'8 20 stone woman with big hair wearing big bold coloured dresses. You CANNOT overlook me if you tried. It's not accidental, so why don't you believe us?

Banging at the petrol pump with her tits 🤣😅 brilliant @Fraaahnces

@RiktheButler I’m not taking issue with anyone querying the OP’s story - it’s up to MNHQ if they think people are troll hunting.

It’s just somewhat bizarre to me that someone who apparently deals with actual swearing and aggression from big drunk blokes in person thinks that being told to jog on by a random on a forum thread is aggressive and vile. I’m sure you can see how far apart those two things are can’t you? If a big drunk bloke was right up in my face shouting at me to jog on while waving a broken bottle then I’d absolutely say that was aggressive, but that would be about his actions rather than the words, and if the PP had included a whole load of swear words with their comment then I’d agree you had a point. But just ‘jog on’? Really?

So many talking how frequent these kind of fraught unpleasant experiences with me n(and women) have occurred in their lives.

Not sure if I’m completely oblivious but getting to my early forties and no show down over supermarket parking; no argument with school queen bee (not even aware of a queen bee!); no school gate cliques; no man edging me out of his space etc etc

I had a man beckon me over in the gym car park to give out, in the rain, that I had not left him enough space to put his child in the car. And I should have seen the seat in the back of his car and parked appropriately - ie. parking in between the white lines was insufficient I also should have anticipated the extra space he'd need for his child getting in and out of the car seat. I went ape shit. I told him he's setting a great example for his daughter calling a woman over in the rain to have a go at her perfectly compliant parking.

You went ape shit?

I imagine that was a touch more disturbing for the little girl to witness than her father moaning about it being difficult to get her in her child seat

I was called over to be scolded at in the rain. Yes. I went mad. I naively assumed he needed help of some sort not just to have a go at me for my parking.

Maybe I should have said "snotty" or "shitty", either way the response was uncalled for, and the witching instigated by others is quite vile and irrelevant to the thread

But he needed you to move in order to access the child seat!

and what does going “ape shit” look like? Shouting? Screaming? Thumping hood of car? Swearing?

So he did want help insofar as you enabling him access!

Daft little wanktards all around. Women should stop reproducing with them and we'd have less of them

Rush hour tube, small man in his 50s took hold of my back pack and moved me out of his way so he could get on first, can you imagine how it feels to have that sense of entitlement.

@Whatislove82 they were both already in the car. If he'd asked me to move I would have, of course. He called me to have a go at me. No other reason than to express his frustration.

What a knob