I've tried .

[stillvicarinatutu]

I've really tried to engage in the fwr board but it's so hostile.

I really wanted to explore more but I just feel attacked whenever I speak my truth.

I don't know what came of the Caroline what's her name thread because I hid it . I really wanted to try and understand what was happening there and try to offer insight and engage from the perspective of a woman in the police .

But I just can't get through the "your all bastards , Wayne cousins, watching me , agenda , trans rights , you're all bastards cos some forces are talking bollocks stuff .

I agree with most of everything but when I'm trying to engage and proffer my support all I get is you behaved badly because you said police should patrol at nigth and have the audacity to LOOK at a woman out at night . The. WC gets brought up like the majority of the police force men and women are some physical threat - when he was the absolute definition of exception not the rule.

I get insulted time and time again and I still tried . It's just turned me off the whole topic because no one will actually talk rationally with me .
And if I ask why all I will get is sulky replied about how police are all shit with some anti feminist agenda when I work in a drive that has never ever had that agenda - no stonewall training , no lanyards with rainbows or cars with stickers - yet when I say this is not my experience while respecting it may be yours - I get told I must be a man .

Last night I posted in a thread and asked what is the issue with police patrolling at night and looking at people who are out ?

Result : your behaved badly . You said it wasn't an issue . You said that's what police are meant to do . (It is actually! Police patrol at night because that's when most crime happens like burglary and car crime )

The reason I'm posting before anyone says something really witty like do t let the door hit your arse on the way out
Is because I wanted to engage and be included in chats that involve women . No
Matter what their job is . I have no trans agenda - I have always said and always believed you are born with either an x or a Y chromosome and that determines your skeletal frame , and your sex . And that cannot be changed.
I'm horrified by the tales here of thought police and wrong think .
I'm in that job and I could actually raise this . The more I learned the more ridiculous it seemed . But I can't even talk about it without jibes or civility.
The fwr board is really really hostile . As a woman I feel unwelcome to even discuss anything .
This will cause more offence and a round of fuck offs. But I really wanted to learn what the issues were around fwr and policing . Its like an exclusive club that no one can gain entry to unless you absolutely comply with the narrative- and I don't even know what it is !
I really wanted to try and understand and learn and possibly - possibly try to raise some of the issues from within .

Anyway - please please don't pile on - this is constructive criticism.
And I won't engage . I've hidden the fwr board now because I don't feel I can be included or add anything of value .

Please don't prove me right by being vindictive or abusive .

I just wanted to learn , help , engage.

I really wish you luck in what ever you hope to achieve .

It's the CF Caroline Farrow arrested thread on the Gender board rage

Thanks @CrossStichQueen

I can see why you are feeling bruised by your encounters on FWR, but i can also see why some posters have responded the way they have. In your efforts to defend your profession, at times you seem to minimise the experiences and fears of women. On a feminism board, for women sharing these experiences, they need to feel heard above all, not told that NAPALT, or that they were over reacting. Listen more, defend less. It is not your responsibility to defend the actions of the entire police force and although i do believe you are trying to be helpful, this isn't.
Providing knowledge on police procedures is really helpful, as most of us have little to no knowledge of this.

And as context, I grew up in Northern Ireland, where the police force colluded with terrorists in the murder of civilians and where i was harassed by cops and soldiers regularly as a teenager. Some of us have very valid reasons for having an institutional level of distrust of the police.

This pretty much says everything I wanted to say, but much better.

I've seen you posting over the years @stillvicarinatutu and you have been so helpful and supportive to so many posters here. You are someone I trust to be decent and thoughtful.

It's hard to have your profession given a hard time when you, personally are doing your best - NHS and teachers also get hit with this. It must be a particularly hard time to be an officer at a time when so many police forces are captured by ideology.

Please stick around and unhide the threads and keep reading.

I can relate to some of what you have said, OP, both in terms of struggling with some of the sharpness on FWR, and in a related profession whom many have negative views of.

Re FWR, I think it is good when people are open with what it feels like when you start to post on the board and get shot down, like you have done. Then you are able to hear the other side - why women fear ulterior motives and the potential for doxxing etc. Both experiences/view make sense and women just need to talk and listen to one another.

On the professional bit - I do understand why, but like you said, you seem sensitive about it. Also like you said, you know you are well meaning, so it can be hard to remember that just the uniform and the role are intimidating to many women. I am grateful you are trying to understand and change this, but it sounds like you could do with a bit of acceptance that this is and likely always will be part of what you have to overcome. In my role I struggled with that so much in the early days, feeling ‘but I am lovely, why do you think I’m so sinister?!’ Over time I built this into discussions, I’d be nervous if one of me came to visit my home as well. Thanks for posting, hope you find a place here.

I think that you have two issues here OP -

(1) Huge swathes of the population absolute detest the police for very good reason. My reasons for hating the police include how stupid and arrogant they appear to be in my experience; witnessing a 16 year old girl on a peaceful protest getting her arm broken by a police officer; hearing stories from a neighbour about going out drinking with police officers and how they all thought drink driving was fine because they knew they could get away with it; the way they do such a poor job of dealing with crime, but seem very happy to stand there in the high street talking about saving women (especially the ones with cocks) from violence and harrassing JKJ for believing in material reality; sarah everard etc etc. If I was out with friends I would be infinitely happier to be introduced to mike the policeman than gerry the paedophile, but to be honest I would have precisely the same interest in getting to know eitehr of them. None. Call me a bigot if you want, but that is my opinion based on numerous experiences I have had and stories I have read.

(2) You seem much more interested in justifying why negative perceptions are wrong, and the police are so much better than the public perceive them to be. Well sorry - get lost. I'll change my opinion when I meet nice, intelligent police officers, or stop seeing stonewall propaganda on police cars, stop seeing them pursuing ludicrous non-crimes and ignoring serious crimes.

You need to hope that 10 years of increased funding and reduced wokery make the police look better, then you might get a better reaction. Not sure when the increased funding and reduced wokery might start.

ps - more stories... I have been told by the police that there was no point in me reporting a crime because they weren't going to catch the criminals red handed and because I'd had a couple of drinks my testimony was worthless. I have been told that I was wasting police time reporting a hit and run because I didn't have the number plate of the offending car.

Sorry, I also meant to say - you, in your role as a police officer, are there to SERVE the public, not have your ego massaged. If you are interested in hearing what the public have to say then ask them and bite your lip if you don't like the answer.

How are the rats?

Just waiting for babies !
The old motley crew are sadly no longer with me .

I'm reading the links . I find one of those photos particularly disturbing.

Maybe I am wrong, but a very long time ago did you not find that some of your colleagues were mysogynist and lacked compassion for people with MH issues? I could be mis-remembering. You yourself always seemed a good 'un.

That was when I was in nhs ! Irony eh !

Article in the Daily Mail, not sure if I should link to it…

A Canadian teacher in transition to female is pictured with enormous prosthetic breasts which they wear as part of their gender identity. When I saw the article I thought it must be a stunt against transgender people and trying to ridicule men transitioning to female. If they actually want to dress that way then to me, it looks like they are fetishising rather than genuinely transgender.

I am usually all for dressing how ever you want but it just looks so inappropriate, AIBU?

My posts on this are my thoughts. I think we might be in the same side . If we aren't - no worries

One of the few times I’ve ever had a comment deleted was when that picture of the police officer wielding a taser was discussed.

And I can understand why because that picture is fucking terrifying. You aren't alone .

As soon police officer that picture chilled me .
Wtaf ? Smiling man in a wig wielding taser ? Yeah that surely engenders confidence in our police service . Fucking nuts . Who thought that was a great PR exercise?

And no - if that man attempted to search me as a woman I'd be requesting someone else . Not a fucking chance mate !

I don't care what the bloody politics are . That's a man . He wouldn't get to search me . Fuck off !
Being searched in custody is hard enough as it is . And I really do t care what the offence is - you could be a female terrorist- don't care . He wouldn't be searching me . Bollocks to that .

A man - no matter who they "identify " as should never ever ever ever be given grounds to search a female detainee. Being detained does not mean guilt . I don't care if he thinks he's a woman . Couldn't give a shit actually. We need to respect the rights of people in custody. I don't give a flying fuck what they are accused of actually- men search men and women search women .
This is madness to me . I bet he was in the force before "transitioning " . There are certain jobs that really should be exempt from this lunacy. Where ever the right to search people is one . Men search men . Women search women.

Yes, quite. The press about them seems to be positive with West Midlands Police positively feting them! I’d love to know what their colleagues think. The articles (who knows whether accurately or not) refer to them as being a senior officer so maybe they all just have to smile and nod?

I 100% agree about the searching but I have a horrible feeling that it might not be adhered to. Risk of being then accused of a hate crime. I don’t know if this article is correct - would love to know your thoughts.

amp.lbc.co.uk/news/trans-police-officers-who-were-born-male-but-identify-as-female-can-search-women/

I know my mates in this job and this wouldn't go down well . Yeah smile and nod .
And then behind closed doors tell the truth.
This won't be well accepted. Guarantee it .
Gay men and women are accepted - because they don't change the dynamics of the job in any way .
This does . This is different. This is a pr stunt . If he tried to search me as a detainee he'd get kicked in the taser .
Women have a right to dignity . Men have a right to dignity . This halfway house is neither .

If be quite ok with being accused of a hate incident.

Men should search men .
Women should search women .

Detainees are not guilty- they are held on suspicion of an allegation

Either way - this is not right . And I can't see how a hate crime would be pursued actually. It's madness .

It wouldn't hold water in court .

Why would I as a woman consent to a man in a dress and wig searching me ? I wouldn't . They are not women . If he has a penis he can do one . He isn't searching me . I would absolutely urge any detainee to refuse this !

Bluff calling time . I'd say try it

If he tried to search me as a detainee he'd get kicked in the taser .

Wouldn't that be classed as assaulting a police officer?

Probably.

The other issue @stillvicarinatutu is that men who say they are women and may even suddenly decide that fact upon arrest can apparently demand that a female police officer search them. Something you could look into, perhaps and find out why your union are not protecting you from this?

There was an issue with the same thing regarding men who say they are women when convicted and sent to prison, female prison officers were reportedly unhappy but I'm not sure what came of it.