I've tried .

[stillvicarinatutu]

I've really tried to engage in the fwr board but it's so hostile.

I really wanted to explore more but I just feel attacked whenever I speak my truth.

I don't know what came of the Caroline what's her name thread because I hid it . I really wanted to try and understand what was happening there and try to offer insight and engage from the perspective of a woman in the police .

But I just can't get through the "your all bastards , Wayne cousins, watching me , agenda , trans rights , you're all bastards cos some forces are talking bollocks stuff .

I agree with most of everything but when I'm trying to engage and proffer my support all I get is you behaved badly because you said police should patrol at nigth and have the audacity to LOOK at a woman out at night . The. WC gets brought up like the majority of the police force men and women are some physical threat - when he was the absolute definition of exception not the rule.

I get insulted time and time again and I still tried . It's just turned me off the whole topic because no one will actually talk rationally with me .
And if I ask why all I will get is sulky replied about how police are all shit with some anti feminist agenda when I work in a drive that has never ever had that agenda - no stonewall training , no lanyards with rainbows or cars with stickers - yet when I say this is not my experience while respecting it may be yours - I get told I must be a man .

Last night I posted in a thread and asked what is the issue with police patrolling at night and looking at people who are out ?

Result : your behaved badly . You said it wasn't an issue . You said that's what police are meant to do . (It is actually! Police patrol at night because that's when most crime happens like burglary and car crime )

The reason I'm posting before anyone says something really witty like do t let the door hit your arse on the way out
Is because I wanted to engage and be included in chats that involve women . No
Matter what their job is . I have no trans agenda - I have always said and always believed you are born with either an x or a Y chromosome and that determines your skeletal frame , and your sex . And that cannot be changed.
I'm horrified by the tales here of thought police and wrong think .
I'm in that job and I could actually raise this . The more I learned the more ridiculous it seemed . But I can't even talk about it without jibes or civility.
The fwr board is really really hostile . As a woman I feel unwelcome to even discuss anything .
This will cause more offence and a round of fuck offs. But I really wanted to learn what the issues were around fwr and policing . Its like an exclusive club that no one can gain entry to unless you absolutely comply with the narrative- and I don't even know what it is !
I really wanted to try and understand and learn and possibly - possibly try to raise some of the issues from within .

Anyway - please please don't pile on - this is constructive criticism.
And I won't engage . I've hidden the fwr board now because I don't feel I can be included or add anything of value .

Please don't prove me right by being vindictive or abusive .

I just wanted to learn , help , engage.

I really wish you luck in what ever you hope to achieve .

I honestly sat there for ages trying to work out if I could pm you or hint at the back story. But fwr has had horrific doxxing attacks, plus Caroline really doesn't want speculation.

I saw on another thread that there's possibly going to be a large news article on the individual. Obvs that's unconfirmed.

Fwr can be very sharp indeed. Women are absolutely fed up with a lot of shite. I wasn't able to keep up with the thread properly so can't comment; posters don't often like de railments, esp when it's about a serious threat to a woman.

My advice would be to not hide the threads but to keep reading and lurking, a lot. That's what many of us did. Yes some of it makes no sense but dots can be joined on twitter.

Or there's spinster xyz. You'd get everything there. But it sounds like you could offer advice to women here who need it.

The Police are part of the repressive state apparatus, they will never be on the side of women's liberation

I disagree. Women close to me have been supported hugely by the police, particularly males.

Both situations the ex reported the woman to the police and other places; the police saw through its and saw it as DARVO and were able to support and report it on record to add to records of domestic abuse.

There are definitely huge issues in the police. But it's variable. Operation encompass for example

whenever I try this is what happens and not just the odd comment. It just put me off trying . Sorry. x

Teachers can get similar on mn in different ways. Lots of teacher bashing during covid. Just have to see past it.

I completely agree with OverArmour and her post.

You sound very defensive and quick to take offence, OP. Your comments read like a variation of NAMALT. No, not all police officers are dodgy misogynist types, but more than enough are for women to be justifiably wary of them.

I don't agree with this statement as it happens and I haven't seen your other threads but honestly, OP, if this is an example of what you mean by feeling personally attacked and unwelcome, I think that's a little bit fragile. That's an example of a straightforwardly put political opinion. Noone was attacked, and certainly not personally.

Many professions are subject to people's sweeping views, with various levels of justification, but if you're waiting for universal approval or an unwaveringly genteel approach before you discuss anything, I think you're going to find yourself quiet for a long time.

I hope you stay and enjoy.

Op I've seen the good, the bad and the ineffective of policing.

The good - two lovely policewomen helped me push my car off a roundabout and didn't show any judgment as the penny dropped that I'd put the wrong fuel in.

The bad - it was a friend's recent experience but it left us with questions like "was it an actual policeman?", "Why was he so out of control?" , And "what would I do if I was pulled over in a dark/deserted area?".
With this very recent event on my mind, I'd have been terrified by the time a police car passed slowly for the third time.

And the ineffective. I was physically and sexually assaulted in broad daylight at a local event. The police at the event didn't want to know when I tried to explain to them that this man was continuing to act in a worrying way around women. It was horrible feeling so helpless when those that could help were uninterested. Then when I reported it, it took two weeks to get my statement. Two weeks of me reliving it while trying to remember the detail as accurately as possible, I constantly had to correct what he'd written, as he watered down what happened within the statement. I was phoned within two hours of him leaving, to say they were closing the case. I'd been able to give them a photo of this stranger too. Now I think of it, why was a lone male policeman sent to the home of a woman who'd been assaulted, to collect sensitive details of what happened?

So, I understand that there are good and bad in the profession, but sadly my faith is gone and my trust is too. I tried to do the right thing to stop another woman experiencing what I had and all I did was delay starting to move on from it by two weeks and lose faith in the police in the process.

I understand that you're one of the good ones and hopefully your force is not the one that I or my friend dealt with (different areas), but I'm a very boring middle aged mother who shouldn't ordinarily have had her trust eroded in this way.

In the nicest possible way @stillvicarinatutu you need to not take comments such as that made by UnimpeachableBravery so personally, or immediately knee-jerk to look for a reason to excuse or possibly justify Police action.

A lot of changes need to be made within the entirety of the Police Service to restore public faith and trust in them, I don't want the Police disbanded en masse we would all suffer if that happened but changes HAVE to be made and made fast.

More often than not the ones who set the Police on women for something said on Social Media, or for having the temerity of going to a meeting about Women's Rights or attending a Feminist Conference have ACAB in their social media profiles - somewhat ironic wouldn't you say? People who are no supporters of the Police have the Police dancing to their tune and playing a part in shutting down free speech and targeting women. You really couldn't make it up, if those people got their way the Police after being useful tools would either no longer exist or would only exist as their puppet enforcement arm.

You asked for posters to private message you via MN regarding the Caroline Farrow case, posters won't do that - it's not personal (and yes there is a but coming) but they don't know if (a) you are who you say you are (b) you say you are a member of the Police the organ currently being used against women in the Gender Ideology debate (c) they don't know how the information they would give would be used - who would see it, would it be screenshot and put on Twitter, as explained there is a very litigious element in the wings and bizarre as it may sound to you they could find themselves having their details demanded from MN, then a Police visit and subsequently crowdfunding to defend themselves and (d) MN has had many data breaches the information shared could be disseminated that way.

GC women on MN have learnt the hard way to trust no-one.

Yes, it would be. Personally, I think you are genuine and that you do want the information for good reasons and I think you are in a lot of ways on the same page as us, however, posters on there are wary and weary for very good reasons.

Maybe try not to automatically find a reason to justify or excuse what the Police are doing and disbelieve what posters are saying.

OP, I read the exchange that you mentioned, and what struck me was your misinterpretation of what the other poster was saying. It might have been completely unintentional on your part, but as someone who was just lurking on that thread, it stood out.

'The police shouldn't pass a lone woman five times within a very short period, getting progressively slower each time' is not at all the same statement as 'the police shouldn't ever patrol at night' but you kept responding as if it were, even when this was pointed out. You did seem very defensive and I wonder if you took it as personal criticism in some way, even though the way these officers behaved doesn't reflect on you as an individual or how you do your job.

It'll be a pity if you stop posting on FWR because I think your contributions are valuable, but ultimately it's up to you, and if you do find comments that are critical of policing to be personally upsetting, it might be best not to engage. But honestly - we know there are a lot of good police officers out there. They don't get threads started about them. The bad ones do, so that's why it seems that all you see is criticism.

But OP, lots of nuanced and helpful comments and one staunch anti-police one, and you focus on that?

There will always be dissent but if you choose to be silenced by anyone who opposes you that is your choice, not the fault of this board or this group.

Stay and help. And don’t take everything personally.

No I'm not basing it on one reply here .

On another thread I was told I was part of the problem . Personal comments made , and one poster insisted on calling me "he" over and over even when I explained I'm a woman .
They said I had to be a man and kept going.

I find that a bit mentally tiring at the moment , for one reason or another . Then I ask myself if I need to argue that I'm actually a woman - and the answer is no . I did take that personally. Probably a bit too sensitive at min .

I agree the calling you a man and he, etc., is out of order I would suggest you ignore it and don't rise to it. I am sure you have been called a lot of unsavoury things to your face as a Police Officer which you have learnt to let bounce off you.

One thing I will take issue with you over is that on another thread someone mentioned a story in the Daily Mail and your immediate reaction and retort was I'm not reading anything in the DM they hate the Police - are you not doing exactly what you are accusing everyone else of? Do you really think that refusing to read a particular story in a paper because of your preconceived view and hatred of that paper due to said view is constructive or showing a lack of bias?

You say you are a reader of The Guardian and Left wing as if this is worthy of some sort of special status, do you really think the Guardian or indeed The Left are pro Police? Numerous prominent left wingers have ACAB in their social media bios. The Guardian will praise you when you are toeing their ideological line and then burn you if you are not.

The DM do not hate the Police what they hate and highlight are BAD Police, incompetent Police, corrupt Police, ideologically captured Police, Police (as a whole service) who do not do what the tax payers who fund them expect them to do. The DM highlighted and reported on the recent furore with Surrey Police over them threatening people who correctly referred to a paedophile rapist as the male he is not as the 'woman' he now claims to be. Surrey Police chose the side of the paedophile rapist because he uttered the magic words, should the DM NOT have exposed Surrey Police's further entrenchment in Gender Ideology? The DM (and The Times) have reported extensively on the ideological capture of the Police, the shutting down of free speech, on all the cases where woman have been arrested or hounded as a result of this Gender Ideology, have supported women who have found themselves in invidious positions, interviewed them and printed their stories, made their readers aware of their plight. You claim to not know anything about any of these cases do you think that may be because the Guardian does not report on them? The DM were actually sued by one of the main players in this - the DM won by the way. IamSarah who posts on FWR S&G is taking a rape crisis centre to Court for not providing a single sex female only service as they should as per the EqA, a centre that told her to go away because she was traumatised by having to share a counselling session with a male who presented fully as a man because said centre prioritises males who say they are women over women - which paper do you think gave that story their full weight, interviewed IamSarah? Clue it is not the one you read.

Most of the DM's readers are by nature pro Police your curt dismissal of the DM dismisses the thoughts of those readers who are pro law and order and want crime solved and criminals locked up and will support the Police wholeheartedly to do just that.

Perhaps you need to take your blinkers off, open your mind and read more widely.

Vest seen you in the other thread in aibu

There are some "news" outlets that are just anti police .

That's not to defend bad police- but they sensationalise and misreport . I can't read them . I like Harry and Meghan and again I choose to bypass those rags .

That's doesn't make me uninformed.

And yes I'm a bit of a rarity in terms of my political leanings and views but I'm me and the job had never changed that .

I'm proud to be a woman and I will always stand for the rights of women . I have L plates in with regard to the trans agenda on using police - because it's not something I've happened upon in real life .

@stillvicarinatutu i meant on this thread (I didn’t see the other one) - you’ve focused on that one poster with their strong anti-police position. But loads of other posters have been welcoming and offered up useful explanations (to which you have mostly responded gracefully).

To be honest the issues we are all facing are bigger than your personal feelings, as you know. It would be good for you to stick around and to be one of our women on the inside of the police force.

I'm kind of glad you've not happened on it in your police life @stillvicarinatutu as that gives me some hope that the ideology is not fully embedded in the Police as a whole and therefore cutting it out won't be quite such a major headache.

Thanks for the message on the other thread, I appreciate it. I'm sure that thread opened your eyes to some of what we are up against with those posters tying themselves in knots to defend their stance whilst simultaneously distancing themselves from it.

Fucking bonkers is my response.
Not to you .

To that "if they feel like a woman they are one " bollocks .

Like I said . I can roll in breadcrumbs and identify as a fishfinger but it doesn't alter what I was born as .

It's a mind fuck for sure vicar, the most bonkers thing about it is that people not only believed it but that promoted it and enacted it and then threatened anyone who said 'No'.

I hope it does give some hope - it's really alien to me . But I am quite versed in saying no - I won't be used . I've done so many a time when men have tried to accuse their victims in some counter allegations and I've been quite easily able to discredit them .

It takes a bit of courage , know how and experience to say no - not being used in your battle .

But I've done it plenty. Custody battles . Tit for tat . You said this so I'll say this . People try to use police to further their agenda in many many ways - Im proud to say not me - I dig . If it's true - I support and if it's not - I call it .

This trans thing however is new to me . I'd like to think I have enough wool on my back to sniff out when someone's agenda is to use police .

I'm really up in mal comms . I hardly ever ever crime them because they are usually easily disproved.

I've made views known on that thread . And that's my belief. It seems I'm not so different to the poster's in the fwr board maybe - even being the stasi 😉😘

(I posted a wink emoji but I'm on the app ....)

X

And vest I really appreciate you engaging with me . Talking to me

Thank you for that .

I think it’s wrong and hateful to say that all police are misogynist, or not to be trusted. Honestly I couldn’t do the job, it looks like a really tough vocation.

It’s fine to call out times when the police or other organisations are misogynistic. The incident with the woman walking was probably scary, but that is also because of the relative freshness of the policeman murderer. That won’t go away soon and like with other groups, probably a bit of working together with women and PR would help.

But you should feel that you as a police officer can put your view across. And if anyone is going go change policing for the better, it’s someone like you who are open minded enough to read the feminist boards. So keep on!
Disagreement is OK, flaming not, if that what you’ve experienced. I read the threads of people being arrested on trans issues and it seems the police are often quite embarrassed.

I can roll in breadcrumbs and identify as a fishfinger but it doesn't alter what I was born as ha ha made me laugh

I work with police constables on the degree apprenticeship. It's been interesting and has given me a different perspective on how hard it can be for police.
I've also seen some brilliant essays from a very well-informed feminist perspective by some of them.

I would agree that most are pretty decent sorts.

My area isn't really going in for the trans-agenda-above-all-else stuff either, thankfully.

When I worked in Scotland, police worked hand in hand with rape crisis and women's aid and helped to ensure some really vulnerable women got support.

I think it's easy to dismiss a whole group of people, but it usually isn't very helpful.

I'm glad I get to have a bit of input into training and that I get a bit of an insight in return.