I've tried .

[stillvicarinatutu]

I've really tried to engage in the fwr board but it's so hostile.

I really wanted to explore more but I just feel attacked whenever I speak my truth.

I don't know what came of the Caroline what's her name thread because I hid it . I really wanted to try and understand what was happening there and try to offer insight and engage from the perspective of a woman in the police .

But I just can't get through the "your all bastards , Wayne cousins, watching me , agenda , trans rights , you're all bastards cos some forces are talking bollocks stuff .

I agree with most of everything but when I'm trying to engage and proffer my support all I get is you behaved badly because you said police should patrol at nigth and have the audacity to LOOK at a woman out at night . The. WC gets brought up like the majority of the police force men and women are some physical threat - when he was the absolute definition of exception not the rule.

I get insulted time and time again and I still tried . It's just turned me off the whole topic because no one will actually talk rationally with me .
And if I ask why all I will get is sulky replied about how police are all shit with some anti feminist agenda when I work in a drive that has never ever had that agenda - no stonewall training , no lanyards with rainbows or cars with stickers - yet when I say this is not my experience while respecting it may be yours - I get told I must be a man .

Last night I posted in a thread and asked what is the issue with police patrolling at night and looking at people who are out ?

Result : your behaved badly . You said it wasn't an issue . You said that's what police are meant to do . (It is actually! Police patrol at night because that's when most crime happens like burglary and car crime )

The reason I'm posting before anyone says something really witty like do t let the door hit your arse on the way out
Is because I wanted to engage and be included in chats that involve women . No
Matter what their job is . I have no trans agenda - I have always said and always believed you are born with either an x or a Y chromosome and that determines your skeletal frame , and your sex . And that cannot be changed.
I'm horrified by the tales here of thought police and wrong think .
I'm in that job and I could actually raise this . The more I learned the more ridiculous it seemed . But I can't even talk about it without jibes or civility.
The fwr board is really really hostile . As a woman I feel unwelcome to even discuss anything .
This will cause more offence and a round of fuck offs. But I really wanted to learn what the issues were around fwr and policing . Its like an exclusive club that no one can gain entry to unless you absolutely comply with the narrative- and I don't even know what it is !
I really wanted to try and understand and learn and possibly - possibly try to raise some of the issues from within .

Anyway - please please don't pile on - this is constructive criticism.
And I won't engage . I've hidden the fwr board now because I don't feel I can be included or add anything of value .

Please don't prove me right by being vindictive or abusive .

I just wanted to learn , help , engage.

I really wish you luck in what ever you hope to achieve .

Hat

Your a little late .

Since this thread I've been reading up , engaging, chatting on the fwb .

I do apologise actually- I was slightly oblivious to what was happening in the wider world - my force is one that doesn't have stonewall training, rainbow lanyards , stickers on cars , mermaids training - our chief is a woman - a woman who has been in the sharp end of sexism , but I wasn't very well read on the wider issues .
Since this thread I've signed up to a police focus group , asked my supervisors about the Harry millar case , made it my business to read the links posted , got a little
More informed .

Hat - I'm sorry I dismissed you're fears and concerns. I wish you well.

A little late. Well quite.

I appreciate the apology but it's not hitting home like it would have, had you come back to the thread you insulted me on instead of for example starting another to essentially bitch behind my back.

It would also have been nice if you had put your listening ears on a bit earlier in that thread or others that you've posted in.

Better late than never yes, but since you said on a recent thread I was reading that you think women believe "the police are out to get them" I don't really feel like you are taking much of what you are reading on in a meaningful way.

Woah this has aged well....!

And not to be super pedantic about it but you didn't just dismiss mine and others fear and concerns but you were insulting for no reason too.

You rubbed me up the wrong way completely on that thread by being so rude and dismissive and it's just been compounded by this thread and your reply actually.

I'm not going to report it, but I think MN would probably view it as not in the spirit and I feel like it does show you as not so nice in reality as you'd like to be perceived.

@HatThatWearsYou

I think you should read through the thread.

I was another who felt @Vicar hadn't a clue, but if you read through the posts she does go away and read, she learned and has been honest about the, oh I hate this phrase, journey she has been on.

I did sashh.

I also read her post a few days ago on the police thread in FWR where she said that even after all her reading etc that she qote: "gets the feeling a lot of women think the police are out to get them".

So I'm not sure if it's really sticking IYSWIM and that's apart from feeling a bit grumpy about what I found here about me on top of the rest from ages ago.

Iink the police are out to get a lot of women, it's only recently we are seeing the police prosecuted for crimes against women.

There was an even better comment the other night - the police aren't racist. They really aren't. She's worked for them for fourteen years, met the odd "dinosaur" but seen nothing worse than that.

I'm still trying to get my jaw off the floor.

What I actually said was in MY own 14 years experience I have not seen or experienced racism within the job .
That's not saying it doesn't happen is it ?
It's saying my teams that I've worked with , I've not seen racism . I work with a very diverse group of cops and always have from response through to now .

I've never said that it doesn't happen or exist . Please do t twist my words to make your point valid - thanks .

Why revive a thread of 3 months ago out of interest?

Because of this.

You totally misrepresented what happened and were been pretty horrible. And your views don't seem to have shifted as much as you say in here from what I can see.

@sashh page 21 @ 21.45 www.mumsnet.com/talk/womens_rights/4670039-the-police?page=21&reply=121785762

@SpittinKitten I missed that one but it sounds about right for this OP.

You know what - I'm browsing back on mn because I've got pneumonia.
This thread is from 3 months ago and I get the feeling it's been revived because some people like prolonging a disagreement and get some kind of enjoyment from it .
Well you fill your boots . Im off to watch Netflix, drink tea and cuddle my dog , much better pastime than attempting to apologise (as I have ) or engage with you because it's clear how anything I say is being received.

Yes absolutely, you start mocking and dismissing people on FWR and then come here to play victim, get found out, give a not very sincere apology and then play victim again, great!

You could instead take on board what people have said and reflect, but that doesn't seem to suit your style.

Police innit. Entirely incapable of self-reflection.

Last post
If you read any of my other messages on other threads since this one you might see I have taken much on board to the point I joined a focus group in order to raise some of the issues on the fwr board . Did that in my own time after reading several accounts about CF, Harry miller, fair cop, among others .
Sent some questions on the ethics of recording non crime hate incidents to the higher echelons and gone away and read every link posted on the threads I've been on if suggested by a poster that it might help to see what the issues are .
If you do t want to talk to me about it - and just want to post snidey pithy retorts - then dont talk to me about it and I'll ignore you . That's fair enough I think .

Nb - the thread you recently refer to - two children involved in a childrens spat - no mention from op on what ethnicity either child was .
I posted practical advice for the op to either heed or discard as they chose.
The thread was deleted because other posters decided to question the ops ethnicity and that if the children involved, when it wasn't relevant and op hadn't even mentioned anything to do with race or ethnicity.

The advice I gave was the same advice I'd have given to anyone in her position and was trying to reassure the op not to worry based on the circumstances they'd outlined .

@stillvicarinatutu I've come across some of your posts in FWR yes, please see above.

If you don't want people to pull you up on unsavoury behaviours maybe you shouldn't do things like mock and dismiss other posters experiences, or start threads to bitch about people and misrepresent them. It's really quite simple.

I'd be happy to discuss things with you if I thought you would actually engage meaningfully but like I've said I don't feel you do that.

You have said all the right things here in this thread and had lots of lovely supportive messages, which I rather think was the point wasn't it?

I still think your apology is lacking a lot and that you haven't taken in one ounce of what I've said, which I suspect is purely because I haven't blown rainbows up your bum and once dared to question if you were in fact a police officer as you say you are.

Anyway Vicar if you leave me alone I'm happy to leave you alone unless we happen to converse in another thread about the topic there.

I don't think this is for me because I'm not sure what you are talking about, assume it was meant for @SpittinKitten?

Vicar you actually said you yourself would commit a crime in that thread. Your views very rather peculiar for someone who purports to be a police officer.

*were very

I did what ? Commit a crime how ? A 14 yr old pushed another 14 yr old over . The op disagreed with the father telling police she had done it but not the context . I did advocate committing any crimes ! If your going to start on about perjury or some such that's a crime against the state - there is a legal right to say nothing even in an interview. ! (Which that wasn't !)
I can't be arsed to argue this is absurd.

DIDNT ADVOCATE *

You said you'd send him a dick pic to teach him a lesson. Scrape it off the internet and send to him.

I remember because was so shocked because I couldn't believe you'd advise such tactic.