Once you become aware of male entitlement…

[Giraffesandbottoms]

…it’s everywhere?!?

This afternoon I wanted to pick up my children from my mother’s. 2 minute job to get them from her front door into the car. Pull up outside, and a man from the house opposite comes out with two other men:

Man “we need to get this van out of the driveway” (note - not ASKING, TELLING me)
Me “ok, I’ll be gone in two minutes”.

Get back to car under a minute later with my mother and children and they haven’t waited and are have started a humiliating 100 point turn. It’s honestly so embarrassing for them. My mother asks if they can please wait so we can get into the car (note ASKS and PLEASE).

Man “we asked you to wait”
Me “you did nothing of the sort. You TOLD me. And now you’re doing a humiliating 100 point turn that will take another 5 minutes when by now I would be gone and so would you”.

Man also reeked of alcohol. Just so fucking needless - saw a pregnant woman and immediately thought what I needed to do and what I was saying was worthless/their needs trumped mine. Ended up making their lives harder. Also so telling how they saw it as them having asked me!

But of course women need to smile for men…

So true! I had horrible SPD and some devastating personal news when I was pregnant and was schlepping through a shopping centre heavily pregnant, sad and in pain when one of the charity muggers sprang in front of me and asked "and how are YOU feeling today!!"

He wasn't to impressed with my succinct response of "Like SHIT!" Trudge trudge.

I think I made quite an impression. He virtually hid from me when I returned the other way!

I have narrow shoulders and big boobs so it's extra unpleasant to be bumped into. I've learnt that just sticking my elbows out slightly eg while hands in pocket or arm over shoulder bag, makes men and women steer past me with more attention. Try it. I am very aware of manspreading generally but haven't noticed it so much here on narrow Cornish streets. It's more an issue of wandery tourists with dogs versus locals with somewhere to get to. I'm all for women taking up space in general of course.

@Somebodylikeyouu

I agree with your first post. I was going through roadworks, my right of way and a bloke in a car came barrelling down flashing his lights for me to reverse. The bloke at the roadworks actually came over to tell me he’d give me a hand to reverse. At which point I laughed (out of sheer incredulity tbh) and told them both that it was fine, I wasn’t moving back otherwise how else would the other driver learn? I had to actually switch my engine off to make it abundantly clear to the other driver who did eventually reverse.

That is dreadful.

Good on you.

@Somebodylikeyouu

Agree, good for you!

I had to actually switch my engine off to make it abundantly clear to the other driver who did eventually reverse.

Maybe roadwork man should have shown the other driver how to reverse.

@MrsTerryPratchett

I had to actually switch my engine off to make it abundantly clear to the other driver who did eventually reverse.

Maybe roadwork man should have shown the other driver how to reverse.

Speaks volumes road man went to PP, it’s just assumed the woman is the one to give way isn’t it 🙄

Speaks volumes road man went to PP, it’s just assumed the woman is the one to give way isn’t it

That she should give way AND that she couldn't drive. I've had a standing ovation from two separate groups of men outside pubs parallel parking. I am good at it but they wouldn't have applauded men, because men are expected to be good.

Interestingly there are good men who know this. I've been on 4x4 courses and shooting ranges and been told by instructors that in their experience women tend to learn faster because they listen, apply knowledge and therefore get better more quickly. We read the instructions!

@MrsTerryPratchett

Speaks volumes road man went to PP, it’s just assumed the woman is the one to give way isn’t it

That she should give way AND that she couldn't drive. I've had a standing ovation from two separate groups of men outside pubs parallel parking. I am good at it but they wouldn't have applauded men, because men are expected to be good.

Interestingly there are good men who know this. I've been on 4x4 courses and shooting ranges and been told by instructors that in their experience women tend to learn faster because they listen, apply knowledge and therefore get better more quickly. We read the instructions!

Similarly I know someone who works in an escape room and they said that children tend to escape faster than grown ups because a child will skit from one idea to another whereas a grown up will say they think the door know has a clue and spend 40 mins trying to find the clue, only giving up when time is out, but a child will see its not working and try something else without feeling embarrassed about being wrong and without trying to prove that they were right

@tenyeardecade

That is fascinating and makes total sense

I came across Patriarchy Chicken a few years ago and tried it out in town. Got shoulder barged by a large man, which hurt. Later I spoke to my MIL and asked her if the same happened to her and she said it didn't. After that I was out in town with her one day and watched her walk. She's a small woman but she was doing something to make people get out of her way and I haven't yet quite figured out what. She tends to march along briskly, chin up and nose in the air, so maybe that's it?

A good tip I learned from an elderly woman I work for. She lived down a twisty, narrow, one lane road that was a sod for driving down and I had a few close calls down there. I asked her how she dealt with pushy oncoming drivers and she said 'I just sit there and look old' so other drivers moved for her. I'm keeping that for future reference, it'll be my turn soon.

Riding a bike at 50 (Gravel bike) on the country roads is like a lottery. It's always the white vans and 4x4's that cut you up or pass with inches to spare, or you get the nobhead driving at you in the middle of the road, inevitably as you're huffing up a hill. Dog walkers on canal towpaths - also been chased, never by a female's dog, though. It has always been a male dog walker

I love it though, and it's so goos for my mental health, there's no way I'm going to let some penis stop me from riding.

I don't like threads like this. I have a young son. There are a lot of women who are now stereotyping men in a negative.

well, @Jvg33 i have daughters. And i am constantly asking men not to assault women, drug their drinks, grab their boobs etc when they are out, but nope - it still happens. Wind your neck in. We are relating things that men do which shows male entitlement.

If you* bring up your son not to be a twattily entitled male, he'll be fine.

*and the other adults in his life

@Brefugee

I don't like threads like this. I have a young son. There are a lot of women who are now stereotyping men in a negative.

well, @Jvg33 i have daughters. And i am constantly asking men not to assault women, drug their drinks, grab their boobs etc when they are out, but nope - it still happens. Wind your neck in. We are relating things that men do which shows male entitlement.

If you* bring up your son not to be a twattily entitled male, he'll be fine.

*and the other adults in his life

Wind my neck in?

This is a hilarious thread? The op was upset about a driver who wouldn't wait for her to get in the car first when neither of them had a right of way 😂 She decided he was a dick just because he was a man. And your example is pointless. What about the other large percentage of men who you don't speak to and don't do anything horrible to anyone? You probably believe not a single woman has never done anything horrible to anyone else? I saw a toddler girl bite another girl in the face the other day about arguing over a toy. No boy was involved there.

I don't think male entitlement is necessarily about consciously doing horrible things though. It's about that subconscious feeling many have that their need and wants come before others.

@Oldtiredfedup

My favourite one was in Aldi. Elderly couple. He had the trolly. He physically got hold of trolleys of women in the aisle as we were gridding abc moved trollies out of the way muttering about women taking they’d tins. His wife made excuses for him. Vile man

I move people’s trollies out of the way if they are blocking the path through. It’s not just a male issue. Women are just as bad at shopping in a daze.

You probably believe not a single woman has never done anything horrible to anyone else?

just give over. We are talking about male entitlement on a thread about male entitlement and you have to wail and whine because you have a son and we're being mean girls or something.

The fact that so many of us can relate these stories at the drop of a hat should tell you something about how often it happens.

Feel free, by the way, to start a thread about entitled women who rule everything being a bit arsey to men because we can, if you like.

@DropYourSword

But of course women need to smile for men…

So true! I had horrible SPD and some devastating personal news when I was pregnant and was schlepping through a shopping centre heavily pregnant, sad and in pain when one of the charity muggers sprang in front of me and asked "and how are YOU feeling today!!"

He wasn't to impressed with my succinct response of "Like SHIT!" Trudge trudge.

I think I made quite an impression. He virtually hid from me when I returned the other way!

I wonder if charity cold callers do the same to men? I'm always a bit mystified when they either phone or come to the door, and start their spiel with "how are you today, what sort of day have you had?" without saying who they are or why they're there - that's NOT NORMAL!

@Brefugee

You probably believe not a single woman has never done anything horrible to anyone else?

just give over. We are talking about male entitlement on a thread about male entitlement and you have to wail and whine because you have a son and we're being mean girls or something.

The fact that so many of us can relate these stories at the drop of a hat should tell you something about how often it happens.

Feel free, by the way, to start a thread about entitled women who rule everything being a bit arsey to men because we can, if you like.

Apparently I whale and whine. And your not?

I like how you think lots of people can relate to some of these stories. You talk as if you have expertise on everyone's life.

Unfortunately, this thread has turned into an I hate men thread when it was about a fairly undramatic event.

If people think men are entitled they should stop entering partnerships with them and stop having children with them. Oh wait. That sounds almost as extreme as some of the views on this thread.

@LaBellina

I bet they wouldn’t have told a big bloke to move op. They’re just twats that saw an opportunity to show off their male dominance to a pregnant woman. Tells you exactly what kind of low life they are. Ignore the apologist, it’s clear where the problem lies unless you’re an entitled male ofcourse.

You sneakily threw in the word 'big'. I bet they would have told a not-so-big bloke to move, because it had nothing to do with the sex of the driver opposite their van. What I do agree, is that aggressive and entitled people usually still have self-preservation instincts, and don't start up with someone much bigger than themselves.

@T00Ts

Bingo.

You’re speaking from the lofty position of male privilege, @BellatricksStrange.

And are you really suggesting that all the examples of male privilege that we’ve all shared with each other on this here Feminism board are in fact incorrect and that they are in fact race issues?

No, and that is why I didn't say that.

What I am suggesting is that most examples of entitlement were not motivated by maleness on one side, or by the other person being female. It's just that some people are entitled. And from my 'lived experience', there are about as many entitled females as males.

Just examine the classic example given on the thread, two people coming towards one another on a narrow path, and one has to give way. Don't you find it ironic how the male who doesn't give way is seen as entitled, while the female who does the same is actually making a stand for feminism? The exact same behaviour and action, yet viewed through the prism of feminist victimhood, the man becomes the entitled one while the woman is doing a noble deed.

@DropYourSword

But of course women need to smile for men…

So true! I had horrible SPD and some devastating personal news when I was pregnant and was schlepping through a shopping centre heavily pregnant, sad and in pain when one of the charity muggers sprang in front of me and asked "and how are YOU feeling today!!"

He wasn't to impressed with my succinct response of "Like SHIT!" Trudge trudge.

I think I made quite an impression. He virtually hid from me when I returned the other way!

Not sure what this has to do with this thread, but that chugger was clearly a shitty person. If I'd have inquired, even out of politeness, how someone was, and been given a negative reply, I'd certainly have inquired further and lent a listening ear.

Just examine the classic example given on the thread, two people coming towards one another on a narrow path, and one has to give way. Don't you find it ironic how the male who doesn't give way is seen as entitled, while the female who does the same is actually making a stand for feminism?

Well, @BellatricksStrange it's a shame you haven't actually read and inwardly digested those posts. Because they all, every single one, refer to a lone woman perambulating in one direction, and the oncomers are taking up the width of the entire path. so no, it's not a "blow for feminism" to not get out of the way for one person (although there is no compelling reason why the man can't move, gawd knows they rarely do anyway). It is about forcing a woman, often with a small child or stroller, into the road instead of, for the few seconds until they're all past each other, going one behind the other.

The fact that you didn't even read the posts is disappointing.

The fact that you didn't even read the posts is disappointing.

But not surprising

I'm newly returned to these parts
it's all coming back to me

I wonder if charity cold callers do the same to men? I'm always a bit mystified when they either phone or come to the door, and start their spiel with "how are you today, what sort of day have you had?" without saying who they are or why they're there - that's NOT NORMAL!

Of course they do the same to men, it's in their training!
I have seen them literally jump into the path of walking men causing them to screech to a stop and then they do the cheery "how are you today?" spiel.
Male and female chuggers, it's nothing to do with gender.