The (male) midwife who delivered my baby has been struck off

[LaurelFloral]

So yes, that, basically. The midwife that delivered my first baby has been struck off. I've name changed for total anonymity, but I need to vent.

The midwife (male) made me feel very uncomfortable during labour/after giving birth. I'm not sure if this was because he was male, or because it was my first baby, or because I was a young mum. But I felt very creeped out by him at the time.

He's been struck off for various issues such as disappearing during a shift, taking photos of women during c-sections, not keeping up to date with training, bullying colleagues, I think there were 29 allegations in the end, dating back to 2011.

I remember people saying at the time my child was born that it took a special man to be a midwife, going against the grain, doing a woman's job. As much as I tried, I couldn't see that.

Can men be good midwives? Or should it be a profession soley for women?

@Thewindwhispers

Any man who wants to intrude into a woman’s privacy like that is a creep imo.

The vast majority of women do not want strange men looking at their genitals. If, knowing this, a man goes into a job where that’s what he’ll be doing, then he is a bit of a creep.

What a ridiculously childish statement.

Very sorry that happened to you OP.

I don’t think men should be barred from health professions working intimately with women, but would strongly prefer to receive such care from a woman.

Once had a bad experience with a creepy male nurse and have had several with male doctors - not being creepy but doing or saying things that were insensitive at best.

There are so, so many issues with inequality in healthcare.

I had a male NICU nurse. Horrible man would comment my breasts and my baby’s head were the same size.

I always request female now for intimate medical appointments. Happy for a make GP and I’ve only had one shit one. Asked me to lie on my stomach when I was 7 months pregnant. He was horrible. Had plenty of horrible female doctors too but at least then I only have to deal with that rather than worrying about being creeped on.

Sorry for what you’ve been through, it must be horrible to know that he did all those things.

Would all those people on here writing off an entire sex really not just want the best person for the job at the end of the day? I mean, it’s potentially your life and your baby’s life at stake if the birth is difficult - but you’d still rather have the worst female midwife/consultant in the world just because she has a vagina before you’d accept a man being involved in your care?

I’m amazed, tbh.

Unfortunately committing inappropriate sexual acts and making inappropriate sexual comments appears to have been a feature of this man's behaviour at work. Sympathies to any woman who discovers that this creep attended her during birth.

www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-10505539/Male-midwife-struck-nursing-register-performing-sex-acts-work.html

It’s bonkers to say any man who works in that profession must be a creep. Clearly yes some men can be good midwife’s and clearly they should be allowed to be.

I also think that clearly if anyone wants care provided by their own sex then that should be allowed (probably unless something exceptional happens)

We're also forgetting there are some awful female midwives out there too, sil had one and she sounded awful. Kept shouting at her and wouldn't let her get up off the bed. This was 7 years ago and I think she was "quite old fashioned" in her style even back then , being more of the attitude that women should birth on their back and be told to push etc. i think the maternity care you receive can be pot luck depending on who is on shift when you go in.
but regarding your original post op if you feel strongly maybe think about adding your evidence to the case, would that help you? I'm sorry you had a bad time with the man's care xx

I'd happily have male midwives and nurses - I know some amazing ones - if the culture and funding are good enough to root out poor and abusive practice in both sexes. And a clear recognition of types of abuse that are more likely to occur because of gender behaviour, as well as specific sex risks.

You can’t have a profession solely for women that’s ridiculous. Plenty OB/GYN are also male, do you want them all struck off too?

I wouldn’t care if my midwife was male. Couldn’t have done a worse job than some of the females I had during my pregnancy and birth.

I had a male midwife. They did say if I wanted a female I could request but he was trained for the job and was great. And I love the idea of telling my son so he knows you don't need to stick to convention.

A female doctor ended up assisting the delivery due to complications.
I don't think it's fair to tar all male midwives with the same brush.

I had a male midwife at one point, he was very kind, dh was with me, I think I’d have felt more awkward otherwise. I do think male midwives should be ‘allowed’, but as I get older I find myself questioning their motivation more; they mst know that their presence makes some of their patients uncomfortable. What is most important though is that male midwives are treated as a sacred caste and feted because of their sex.

@SD1978

I don't understand the huge discomfort with male midwives, but male gynaecologists are never an issue. It seems to go back to the whole it's ok for men to be doctors, but not nurses bias many women seem to have. Same that male teachers are great, but male early years educators are also something to be feared.

Exactly. I had a male doctor deliver my premature baby who was amazing .

I also had a female midwife who was quite frankly very nasty .

You can not dismiss all male midwives because of one bad one.

More you should be ensuring that any system of complaints against any midwife is robust.

I had a male fertility doctor and a male midwife. Both were absolutely fantastic. The male midwife was infinitely better than the female unsympathetic nasty butcher I’d had with my first birth.

Of course men can be midwives.

I fully accept that most male hcps are not a threat to women and children in the medical profession. However, it's distressing to read in the Times about a male doctor who, despite a previous police investigation, was allowed to continue to practice for 3 more years until a second suspension. Now the police have launched a major investigation onto child sex abuse currently involving 9 children. Share token:

www.thetimes.co.uk/article/e8012b80-8c40-11ec-b5fe-7fe087ff87b5?shareToken=5e53b067b1adda4f6905cc6deaa1a505

A male medical student delivered one of my children. Supported by a qualified midwife and agreed to by me. He was a lovely young man and I was very pleased to have helped him on his way to qualifying as a doctor!!

I had a male midwife during pregnancy and also for the home birth of my second and he was professional and calm. Still think women should have a choice. But if you need an emergency c-section you will not get a choice...

My dsis had a male MW 39 years ago.
She said he was brilliant and had no problems with his care.

I’m sure they could be amazing, of course! If the right skills, empathy etc - no reason why not.
However...my experience of giving birth, surrounded by brilliant women, was the moment I first felt really truly what it meant to be a woman, rather than just a person. I absolutely wouldn’t have wanted a male midwife at my labour.

Wow, what a strange feeling.

I've been told on mumsnet that I would be wrong to want/request a female mw.

At 51 I'm not going to need a MW but I'm so glad mine were female and make no apology for that. Just don't want the EXTRA awkwardness of a man doing that job.

Back in the real world though, a 22 year old male was apparently going to do my examination before I had polyps removed from cervix (lovely) and I said are you kidding, a man? and as if by magic a woman appeared to do it. She must have been waiting in the wings for my objection, so I can't be that unusual.

@Thewindwhispers

Any man who wants to intrude into a woman’s privacy like that is a creep imo.

The vast majority of women do not want strange men looking at their genitals. If, knowing this, a man goes into a job where that’s what he’ll be doing, then he is a bit of a creep.

What an absolutely disgusting thing to say.

Of course they ought to be allowed. Just like women should be able to stipulate that she wants a female midwife.

I was up on the maternity ward as my waters had gone but no contractions and once contractions start, I give birth very fast. 94 mins and 40 mins for the first two. This was baby 3.

Woke up to very strong contractions with no break. Male student midwife came in to see me after I buzzed, took one look at me and grabbed a wheelchair to take me down to labour ward.

3 female midwives proceeded to argue with him that I couldn’t possibly be in active labour as I’d only been contracting for 10 mins.

Meanwhile, I’d got out of the wheelchair and started walking to the bed - but didn’t make it. I ended up stood up, frozen in the middle of the room, pushing, terrified whilst they continued to argue with him.

Fortunately he was paying attention to me and sort of dived across the room with a towel to catch DD - I sure as shit couldn’t have caught her in the position I was in and she would have dropped on the floor if it weren’t for him.

Everyone has the right to refuse a male midwife

The problem is, once a male midwife is on the team there's a chance that some women won't get a choice due to staffing levels and emergencies. Other women may feel pressured to have a male midwife. Every man who goes into the profession does so knowing they may make some women uncomfortable, why would any decent man choose that?

Also gynae and obstetric consultants aren't quite the same, you would never be alone with them at vulnerable times, plus there is something much more ... can't think of the word...About a midwife, my midwife touched me a lot, and despite being normally very comfortable with male doctors (and my pregnancy was consultant lead by a male doctor), I wouldn't have been comfortable with a man providing the same care. What is worse, I wouldn't have known that until I was giving birth, I didn't have the prior experience to make that decision. My female midwife was so, so lovely, as was my male consultant, but they aren't the same.

Whilst in theory there's no reason why there shouldn't be male midwives, and I agree that women should be able to request female
staff for intimate procedures, I don't like having to ask (you feel as though you are inconveniencing people, being awkward, that they might be muttering "there's always one" behind your back etc). When I went for my last mammogram there was a poster up saying this is a female only service, I had, I guess, assumed it would be and realised I wouldn't have been comfortable with being alone in a tiny confined room with a man lifting my breasts in and out of the machine. I mentioned this to the radiographer who said they were coming under a lot of pressure to let males into the service and she worried it would put women off attending. I don't think its the end of the world if there are a few, very specific jobs that are only open to females.