What sexist event happened to you this week? Big or small..

[Quarks69]

I went to a group golf lesson for the first time the other week and as there were not enough bays, all the women were told to share and the men had a bay to themselves...for an hour..and I was the only one who noticed and said anything!!!

Response from male instructor.... an hour is a long time the women might get tired 😡. Shall I name and shame?

Would be interesting to hear if I am the only one who sees these things now, when I never did in my youth?

Idiot colleague (he/him/his) was being very critical of women not accepting trans women into their spaces, saying that it's prejudice "the threats to other women's safety are minimal".

I was allowed to skip to the front of the queue by a load of blokes. Felt a bit bad as some of them clearly weren’t happy with it but didn’t want to speak up.

I was in a car garage talking to the sales man about changing my car. He asked if my current car had 'the bright shiny lights'. I looked blankly at him for a moment and then said '...do you mean xenon's?'. He was indeed talking about xenons.

Reader, I did not buy a car from him.

Ran in cross country run. The women are not allowed to run in the (longer) men's race (athough men can choose to run the women's one, and a few usually do). The sport is so antiquated and it's mainly the older women who are against equality; most men I've spoken to are supportive. I keep doing it as there are quite a lot of us starting to get some momentum behind Run Equal campaign, and I think the way to change it is from within, not the outside.

Went to get car valeted at same place DP took it last month. He was charged £20 as it was 'medium' size car, but when I took it in they wanted £28 as its a 'large' sized car. It was the same car, maybe it just looks bigger with me in it.

Not recently, but I felt VERY annoyed about being a woman when my mam sent all the males to the pub on Christmas Day so “us women can cook in peace” !

I’m a registrar of births and deaths, we deal with names all the time. Even if you don’t change your surname to your partner’s when you get married, as soon as you’re married you have automatically have a maiden name, because a maiden name is the name that you use to enter into your first marriage. So in your case your maiden name is the same as your married name. Hope that helps!

So men have a maiden name too?
That's interesting.

Guy used hand signals to 'assist' me with reversing in Tesco car park yesterday. Pretty sure a bloke wouldn't have taken it well. Happens so fucking often lose the will. Dicks.

Needed to get a black cab as I’m wheelchair use. Booked on an app exact destination with postcode all good. Taxi drivers arrives has to ask me if I really wanted to go there because its along way and it’s going to be expensive Like I’d just stuck a pin the London A-Z and hadn’t realised the 8 miles would cost me that £2.50. He wouldn’t said that to a bloke

@BettyBooper a man did this to me years ago. I got out of my car and told him to get out of my way. I said something along the lines of not trusting a random person, and that him standing there waving his arms randomly meant that I couldn't see approaching traffic etc.

@TiddlesTheTiger

I’m a registrar of births and deaths, we deal with names all the time. Even if you don’t change your surname to your partner’s when you get married, as soon as you’re married you have automatically have a maiden name, because a maiden name is the name that you use to enter into your first marriage. So in your case your maiden name is the same as your married name. Hope that helps!

So men have a maiden name too?
That's interesting.

The term 'maiden name' makes me want to bust a vein.

Do they really use this repulsive, anachronistic term on official documentation? Makes the mind boggle.

My mother died, sadly very young, around 15 years ago. I was extremely distressed when I had to register her death and her occupation was registered as Mrs Van Arkle, wife of Mr Van Arkle (HIS occupation).

She had her own occupation, TYVM. Plus my parents were estranged, as was I from my father, because he was an abusive psychopath.

There will always be a Mumsnetter waiting in the wings to say 'I couldn't worked up over that', or that my darling mother, who was as close to me as a sister, had just died and didn't I have better things to worry about?

Yes, I did. But this really hurt and rankled, and not only for the appalling sexism but for the past trauma he'd inflicted on us both. I also wasn't convinced at the time the registrar was being entirely honest about the legal position: she claimed she'd never come across such a situation before, which I didn't believe. The implication was, why was I making such a fuss?

My mother would have come back to haunt the person who forced this on her legal documentation: felt like the final fucking indignity.

It mattered to me, her bereaved daughter.

I got to sit back and drink coffee while the blokes cleared up the plant in preparation for Xmas shutdown. I think they felt it would be mean to make me lug heavy equipment around but tbh I’d have been perfectly fine as I can deadlift 140kg which is more than a lot of blokes. I still took the opportunity to put my feet up lol.

NHS doctor told me I’d need to go privately if I wanted a diagnosis for my child (SEN) within two years. That was bad enough. Then he told me to “go home and check with the bill-payer first” before letting him know my decision. I walked out of his office.

@Salamander76

NHS doctor told me I’d need to go privately if I wanted a diagnosis for my child (SEN) within two years. That was bad enough. Then he told me to “go home and check with the bill-payer first” before letting him know my decision. I walked out of his office.

Did you take a day off work to go to the appt? Maybe he assumed your husband was the primary earner and you were a SAHM.

@EightWheelGirl the GP in question knows I have a job because it came up in conversation at the start of that very appointment! Also, in an age where many people work flexibly/from home, it’s quite a leap to assume someone is a SAHP/financially dependent just because they show up to an appointment. I doubt he’d have made the same comment to my DH in any case!

Maybe he assumed your husband was the primary earner and you were a SAHM.

Exactly - he made an outdated sexist assumption. Can anyone really imagine a father who'd taken his kid to a medical appointment being asked to 'go home and check with the bill-payer first'?
And saying that to someone who he knew had a job.... weird.

Can anyone really imagine a father who'd taken his kid to a medical appointment being asked to 'go home and check with the bill-payer first'?

I'd imagine this is due to the extreme rarity of SAHDS.

@Ohsugarhoneyicetea

Went to get car valeted at same place DP took it last month. He was charged £20 as it was 'medium' size car, but when I took it in they wanted £28 as its a 'large' sized car. It was the same car, maybe it just looks bigger with me in it.

Is that sexism? I get charged a different amount every time I go to our local car wash!

It is sexism when he always gets charged less than me. Its clearly a medium sized car, but one look at me and it magically becomes large.

Last year throughout the pandemic, as office workers, all admin staff (all women), worked from home, still at full capacity. No issues at all.

We have now been told, against government guidelines, that the lower grades in the company - all women - HAVE to work in the office as there are some jobs that can't be done from home. Even though we did it for 18 months with no issues.

None of the higher grades we service have to go into the office. So there is going to be 1 or 2 of us in an empty building, just for the sake of it.

No men, just women. And we are in the lesser paid roles.

I think that is pretty sexist.

And a bad show considering we work for a trade union.

From a few months ago, but to say these workmen had been here for a good three months beforehand, and after.

Monday morning, 8am and there's a knock at my back door.
I open the door and a workmen said, "we need to to get a skip in, you're gonna have to move your car"
I replied, "no, I'm not", and shut the door.

I won't bore you, but long story short, even after politely explaining to the Foreman, they still didn't get it.
My car didn't move an inch.

I ordered some new dining chairs. They arrived, DH didn’t have time to put themselves together, so I said I would do it. ‘What, seriously? You can’t’ and he’s ‘one of the good guys’ who considers himself a feminist ally. When pressed he seemed slightly embarrassed & couldn’t think of a reason why I shouldn’t put the chairs together.

I keep getting asked what I’m making for Xmas dinner. I don’t cook. DH does all the cooking here.

Bought my daughters some cool band t shirts ( they are young but love rock music). The t shirts are labelled as “boys”. I have no idea why, they are unisex children’s t shirts. It’s as if only boys could like the particular bands!

Had one of those moments at the in laws where after Xmas dinner the men were excused washing up as they don’t do it ‘properly’ and are too noisy about it or some such bollocks. So they went outside to play a game while the women - who also cooked all the food- did the clean up.
MIL wouldn’t hear of it any other way.
To his credit BIL was shamed enough to cook the next couple of meals and wash up too…