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Feminism: chat

Feminism: sex and gender

Original poster

What sexist event happened to you this week? Big or small..

231 replies

Quarks69 · 10/10/2021 21:39

I went to a group golf lesson for the first time the other week and as there were not enough bays, all the women were told to share and the men had a bay to themselves...for an hour..and I was the only one who noticed and said anything!!!

Response from male instructor.... an hour is a long time the women might get tired 😡. Shall I name and shame?

Would be interesting to hear if I am the only one who sees these things now, when I never did in my youth?

OP posts:
ANameChangeAgain · 11/10/2021 09:18

Ooh, another one. Mums on the school run are unashamedly bashed on social media with no thought that they might need to wizz straight off to work, whereas everyone accepts that the busy dads need to drive straight to work after the school run. I've even been called greedy before for daring to use the excuse of being a working mum.

Wetoopere · 11/10/2021 09:27

Having to send my ‘d’h a list of what is going on this week with the kids and what he needs to do. We had a very blunt conversation over how that is the last time & he needs to grow up and take responsibility. He got it until covid made me stay home and he just retreated back to just doing his bits.

PE teacher tried to talk to my daughter about netball rather than the cricket she wanted to join.

The assumption I’m a member of the family or carer when I attend hospital appointments as an interpreter. (Anecdotally )Men don’t get asked this.

trancepants · 11/10/2021 09:31

[quote CBUK2K]@RumHoney Shouldn't it just be one course record? Seems kind of sexist to assume it should be gendered.[/quote]
@CBUK2K This really, really isn't the gotcha you think it is. To be quite honest all it does is prove the opposite as it shows you up as not having even the first clue whatsoever about what you are trying to make a point about. Ergo completely invalidating everything you say.

Well done!

AlphabetAerobics · 11/10/2021 09:32

I was filling in forms for a CAMHS referral and “father’s name” was above mother’s …

I’m a single parent and the father doesn’t believe in autism… Hmm

thesearesexpeople · 11/10/2021 09:41

Neighbour called round, I answered the door, he said "can I speak to DP please?" Turned out he wanted to ask him what area of the front of the house our security cameras cover.
It's still annoying me now that I didn't say anything.

Hamtonn · 11/10/2021 09:50

DH has been struggling with a project at work. He asked for my opinion because he was at a loss - I used to work in the same field, I’m more highly qualified than him but was lower paid so I’ve ended up having to be a SAHM right now. Anyway I made some suggestions that turned the whole thing around. His boss has been over the moon with the solution for a couple of weeks - until they were having a chat at lunch and DH said actually X and Y was my wife’s idea. Boss pursed his lips and said wtf? And now apparently they’ve changed their mind because they “can’t realistically use a solution suggested by a housewife”. It’s the same fucking solution as it was last week when they were delighted with it because they thought DH had come up with it!

PutYourBackIntoit · 11/10/2021 09:51

I've finished the 3rd book on my dd's condition. DH has not read one page.

Slayduggee · 11/10/2021 09:51

DD has started a new nursery. We live in quite a mixed area and this nursery is run by the LA. I’m getting the impression that all though they offer all year round nursery 5 days a week they think all mums should stay at home or work very part time. Just had another comment that my DD does a very long day at nursery. Today she’s doing 9-4:30. Never seen any of the dads picking up get a comment. Felt like screaming at them that I pay the fucking mortgage.

notacooldad · 11/10/2021 09:55

Felt like screaming at them that I pay the fucking mortgage
Should have done!
Well maybe not screamed but I'm sure you could have framed it nicely and got your point across!🤣

Hattie765 · 11/10/2021 10:00

@Anycolourwilldo

I've got completely sidelined at work. I've returned after maternity leave and my cover is staying for an additional year, doing my job. I'm now kicking my heals I guess until I get made redundant or choose to leave. It's miserable. I thought I was good at my job but this has knocked the confidence from me. Men don't experience this.
This exact thing happened to me, took them 6 months almost exactly to make me redundant, promote my replacement and give him a big payrise. My confidence was shattered 😔 but (it took 6 months mind) I found a much better job where I'm my own boss and I got a better salary. They're shits, you don't want to work for them anyway. Take the money and find something better, it's out there xx
HighHighHopes · 11/10/2021 10:01

A carpenter had failed to secure an item in my home despite trying. He handed me one of the long screws he had used telling me "to show your husband". Hmm

This is despite him only ever having had contact with me.

I've been divorced for 12 years and never had a man live in the house (that I have paid for) since!

Hamtonn · 11/10/2021 10:09

I’m getting the impression that all though they offer all year round nursery 5 days a week they think all mums should stay at home or work very part time
My DS started nursery a few weeks ago. On the first day the staff said to me “ooh what will you do with all this free time you’ve got now? Sleep? Bake? Watch tv?”. Erm no, I’m going to work!

Hamtonn · 11/10/2021 10:09

I should note that DH was right there and they did not ask him what he was going to do!!

Namebunny · 11/10/2021 10:10

This is making me laugh.! Sort of.
Window company asked to talk to Dh. I said, ‘ glad you’ve called’ he insisted he speak to Dh. I explained that I’d sent the email. He said something along the lines of,‘you’ll do then’ and tried to persuade me I didn’t want what I wanted.
Another one came by and told me I had the wrong sash cords ( I don’t) and he’d paint it with water based over oil paint because it lasts longer. It won’t. Ffs.

RealDinosaurofBarnardCastle · 11/10/2021 10:12

I was told by a colleague that “you’d make someone a lovely secretary”

I’m a senior department head.

RealDinosaurofBarnardCastle · 11/10/2021 10:12

Colleague was a male accountant btw

Ratonastick · 11/10/2021 10:23

I had a long chat with a friend about car park options (riveting, I know). I heard myself waxing lyrical about the lighting, security and open design of a particular car park and why I use it even though it is significantly further to walk. I will bet a currency of your choice that no man has ever considered this in his car parking decision.

ANameChangeAgain · 11/10/2021 10:38

@RealDinosaurofBarnardCastle Shock
Reminds me of when I was at school we cleaned the staff room on rota for "table points". The caretaker told my friend and I we would make lovely little housewives!

Ringsender2 · 11/10/2021 11:00

I chose not to run down a particular road last night as it's not very busy, and ended up altering my route.

MistyFrequencies · 11/10/2021 11:14

Went to get work done on car. Mechanic gave estimate then said " do you want to give your husband a call and check before we go ahead?"
I was dumbfounded, actually lost for words for a good few minutes.

Slayduggee · 11/10/2021 11:24

@Hamtonn

I’m getting the impression that all though they offer all year round nursery 5 days a week they think all mums should stay at home or work very part time My DS started nursery a few weeks ago. On the first day the staff said to me “ooh what will you do with all this free time you’ve got now? Sleep? Bake? Watch tv?”. Erm no, I’m going to work!
On the first day when I dropped her off I had the, ‘it will be nice for you to have a break’ comment. I just looked at them like they were mad and said no I’m going to work now.

I’m thinking of looking for another nursery where I don’t get ‘sad face’ from the staff every day.

Cerebelle · 11/10/2021 11:27

I went to dinner with DP after visiting his DM. The waiter gave DP the bill and when we mentioned the visit, said DP must be tired after such a long drive. I earn triple what DP does and the default is I pay for most of our dinners. I'm also the only driver.

DP and I often laugh about how I am 'the man' of the relationship if we went by others' assumptions because it gets ridiculous.

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 11/10/2021 11:37

Shock was expressed this weekend as DH and DD1 went shopping... two of the items required were a washing line and a new winter coat for DD.

Apparently I should have gone as well as a man can't be expected to know how to buy his daughter a suitable coat or the requirements for a washing line. (Which are pretty straightforward and they even had labels on them about the amount of washing that can be dried on them!)

HalfpastFlea · 11/10/2021 11:45

Just last week...

New female colleague asked how on Earth I worked so many hours and still managed to cook in the evening and get household chores done. Erm that would be because DH does them not me. Her face was agog.

Male cyclist in his cycling garb, shouts at me to smile and cheer up. He was cycling to work, I was walking to work, both of us incorporating exercise in to our morning commute yet I was supposed to be doing it with a smile on my face? Yeah fuck that.

Senior male colleague said to us females, oh well done girls, I'm a middle aged, over 50 WOMAN not a girl.

Cloudyzebra · 11/10/2021 11:49

On a course last week as the only female in a group of men. Guess who got asked to make the instructors a cup of tea in at break time? At the time I brushed it off as maybe coincidence, but it wasn't was it?