Tan France dismissing Breast Milk

[LizziesTwin]

This was on my Instagram feed this morning and has made me so angry. He and his partner rented a womb and bought an egg from a woman and are now knocking breast feeding.

Never ending.

I agree its just not a conversation he should be part of and it's extremely distasteful for him to be paid to promote a discussion that isn't relevant to him and that ignores the fact that despite how anyone feels, breastmilk is better for a baby than formula.

Adoption has nothing to do with surrogacy, this is a disingenuous question
The fact that so many adopted children want to find their birth family, even if their adoptive family is a loving one, makes me question how the children in a surrogacy arrangement will feel as they grow up.

@GlutenFreeGingerCake

Adoption has nothing to do with surrogacy, this is a disingenuous question The fact that so many adopted children want to find their birth family, even if their adoptive family is a loving one, makes me question how the children in a surrogacy arrangement will feel as they grow up.

That's true I should have qualified that there are some parallels in the separation of babies from mothers but they are not equivalent ways for people to become parents

I don’t get why breastfeeding can’t have an awareness week? I don’t have mental health issues but don’t shit in mental health awareness month 🤷‍♀️
Humans make milk for their human child and that is biologically how they should be fed.

Is it possible to report the posts as undeclared ads? I don't use Instagram but I thought they ought to have #ad or similar on them?

I’m really fucking pissed off about this actually, especially all the comments from gay / trans couples saying “I was shamed because I wasn’t able to breastfeed”

No you fucking weren’t. This isn’t about you, it’s about supporting women who choose to breastfeed that don’t have a multi million dollar industry behind them pushing the narrative that formula is better than breast somehow

Mansplaining breastfeeding from a guy who has been a parent for a week? Oh fuck off would you.

Ugh.. I have reported it as false information: health

Oh ffs, can't you read? He is saying something that is absolutely true. A lot of women made feel like they are not doing a good job because they are not breastfeeding. He is not dismissing breast milk. Of course he is being attacked because he is a gay man who dared to have a child with a surrogate.

I tried reporting it, so now I can’t comment on the post ‘is this a supported post? You have to declare those on Insta for transparency.’ Oops. Should have commented then reported.

He’s being criticised for putting out a poorly disguised ad for formula. It’s disingenuous.

I have no issue with him being gay. I have an issue with surrogacy. The sex of the surrogate parents is of no concern.

It’s not that it’s not true that all babies need to be fed, but it’s very underhand to have hidden formula advertising that isn’t declared as such according to the instagram guidelines. Given the amount of crap various influencers have got for not declaring a pair of shoes or a night away, this is comparatively serious when there are regulations governing formula advertising and he and bobbies are sidestepping all those.

I don't think a gay man who never planned or hoped to breastfeed can really empathise with the feelings of a mother who couldn't breastfeed especially as he seems to completely dismiss the benefits of it anyway. So he shouldn't be co opting that emotion to make his point.
Didn't he pose with a scan photo on his abdomen to announce the surrogates pregnancy? I found that in poor taste.

@Iwonder08

Oh ffs, can't you read? He is saying something that is absolutely true. A lot of women made feel like they are not doing a good job because they are not breastfeeding. He is not dismissing breast milk. Of course he is being attacked because he is a gay man who dared to have a child with a surrogate.

It’s an advert for formula which attacks national breastfeeding week. Can’t you read?

It's another case of how men always seem to want to be centered. Can't just let women be the ones who struggle with not being able to breastfeed when they want to can we?

The whole premise is ridiculous. No one ever asks how breastfeeding is going unless they’ve already seen you breastfeeding. I was asked the question twice, once by my midwife the day after we got home and once by the HV who came to weigh her. It was a helpful question in the circumstances and led to some useful tips.

Literally no one would ask a gay man who had a baby born by a surrogate mother. It wouldn’t happen. Because most people aren’t stupid.

I breastfed and I combi fed. I'm happily supporting breastfeeding week.

I can't run, ive never run a marathon, I have no desire to do so. Ive stood on the side lines and cheered on friends who've put in the hard work and effort to achieve that goal. I don't feel any less because ive not achieved that same goal.

Yes - I can support Black History Month because I recognise black history is not taught enough in schools and we need to have a broader awareness of racism without being black.

I don’t complain about Movember either.

I guess it depends how much validation you need and whether you understand that not everything is about you.

I just came here to create a thread about this too. I can't get over how angry I feel about this. This man has been a father for a matter of days and he already feels like he is in a position to talk about how bf is apparently put on a pedestal. Bf awareness week is to support women in bf and to celebrate it for what it is. It also should be acknowledged that bf is BETTER FOR BABIES. That biological fact doesn't mean I don't support people who bottle feed or respect their choices. He feels triggered by bf because he is not able to do it- why does that mean he gets to denigrate women and their achievements and abilities and make this celebration and discussion about him. I'm so so angry.

Thanks for highlighting. As someone who really enjoyed breastfeeding my children but also found it challenging, i have so many issues with this post. Not least that it is an undisclosed ad. I have also reported it for false information > Health.

It's also national surrogacy week (U.K.) so I can see why a man who can't have a baby, buys one (surrogacy, who knows if he could have adopted it chose not to) and wants to highlight his 'victim hood' because he is judged (the poor lamb) for formula feeding his child (something women have had to endure since its creation) and happens to be gay.

I can also see why a white, rich male would criticise breastfeeding - he can't do it (jealous much?) he doesn't understand it and he is completely ignorant of the majority of the female population who are mothers who either prefer to breastfeed or can't afford formula and don't have access to clean water.

The privilege with men like this is off the scale.

(His sexual orientation is irrelevant, the fact he is same sex attracted just highlights how you need a woman and her body, and sometimes another woman's egg, to make a baby, human reproduction is a real bitch huh. The same applies to single men.)

An earlier thread...

Mansplaining breastfeeding www.mumsnet.com/Talk/feminism/4312270-Mansplaining-breastfeeding

His post has made me so angry I even left a comment and reported it, which I've never done before in 10 years of Instagram use. A straw man argument (Who on earth asks 'how is breastfeeding going' unless you know the woman is bf??) that is incredibly divisive, pitting women against each other and it turns out to be a bloody ADVERT FOR FORMULA (not disclosed). He needs to check his privilege on so many levels.

The negative emotions many women feel towards breastfeeding are because most (not all) want to bf but are not supported or informed enough to be able to. Anyone who is truly comfortable in their choice to FF (which is a valid choice), would not feel those kinds of emotions.

Last sentence missed off my post: which is exactly the aim of WBAW - to help and support those who want to bf to be able to.

Given that language is important can we step away from “breastfeeding is better”, “the benefits of breastfeeding”.

Breastfeeding is the baseline, it’s the biological norm.

Of course I understand why the alternatives are not used, but really, we should be acknowledging biology.