Tan France dismissing Breast Milk

[LizziesTwin]

This was on my Instagram feed this morning and has made me so angry. He and his partner rented a womb and bought an egg from a woman and are now knocking breast feeding.

Switching it back to the UK - I do think there’s a problem with some breastfeeding promotion in that it assumes that it’s fighting against a countervailing narrative of formula feeding. For some this is true, whereas for other women there is no alternative narrative and breastfeeding promotion is just layering on pressure on women who already fully intend to BF.

So I do have sympathy with the arguments they are making. Failing to EBF my first child was one of the most emotional difficult things I’ve been through and it didn’t need to be.

But still - a formula company capitalising on breastfeeding awareness week to promote its product can fuck right off.

@Harlechh

Haven’t read the full thread but what strikes me most is the strange pomposity of the gay dad whose baby will never know his own mother let alone have the chance of a lovely, snuggly breastfeed. A child deprived of his mother is infinitely more troubling than an adult offended by other adults’ questions.

I agree.

Tan is thinking about Tans-self. Everything about this is about him and his adult choices.

Whilst Tan prioritises himself he simultaneous attacks women because we can breastfeed, but as he commodified a woman in order to get the baby it's not surprise that he is treating women this way.

Biologically we can do several things he can't. But don't climb on that pedestal ladies, Tan is there to knock you down, don't get ideas above your station!

I really hope the baby knows his mother, he's going to know he has one but where she is and what she makes of it no one knows. I'd rather hear from her than this guy.

Not RTFT. Undeclared social media ads can be reported to the ASA who are also working with the social media companies themselves and UK consumer regulators to strengthen compliance which is currently quite poor.
This report sheds light on the problem and it sets out the rules:
www.asa.org.uk/uploads/assets/dd740667-6fe0-4fa7-80de3e4598417912/Influencer-Monitoring-Report-March2021.pdf

@FishfingerFlinger I didn't know that about US formula. Add that to the shocking maternity leave policies, I imagine breastfeeding rates are pretty low.

He did an IG live with Bobbie last night (I got an alert) but I thought it would be one of the other Queer Eye presenters. I didn’t watch.

The thing about breastfeeding is they concentrate on the whole Breast is Best message, and then, just leave it at that!

I breastfed both my babies, but I had my first in Canada, where the midwife came round every day for the first few days, and spoke to me about how I was doing, and gave me feeding advice around getting DS1 to feed (we took a while to figure it out, but got there in the end). In the UK there was literally nothing though - no-one checked on me, once DS2 was here no-one even asked how I was planning to feed - I was absolutely abandoned (luckily he was an easy feeder, plus I already had confidence from DS1).

Yet again this causes the issue that women are blamed both ways, and can feel failures, when they've been given basically no support and just told to 'make it happen'

As to surrogacy - I'm 100% against it, but 1000% against this new thing where you put two women in danger, purely to prevent contractual issues (if the surrogate mother doesn't provide the eggs, then I believe it's easier to make sure the commissioning parents can be guaranteed custody)

U.S. breastfeeding rates are higher than those of the UK. We have one of the lowest rates in the world.

I've nothing really to add that PPs haven't already said - this is really fucking offensive.

I've loved Queer Eye, their shows are charming and they genuinely do seem invested in the people who appear. They've always come across as warm, caring guys. But this and things like Jonathan's attacks on 'anti trans' JKR show that (some of them at least) do have an incredible blind spot when it comes to empathising with or understanding women, and it really leaves a bad taste.

I don’t see why they are seemingly attacking breastfeeding. If there is a problem with the quality of formula in America they should be addressing that issue rather than focusing on issues surrounding breastfeeding and mum guilt. Anything that improves breastfeeding rates will not benefit this company, They want to address breastfeeding issues without encouraging breastfeeding and instead encouraging purchasing of their upmarket product. Their stance is all very confusing. Is there product even scientifically better than the cheaper alternatives or is it just marketing spiel.

Because its easier to attack women, then it is to attack formula companies.
So, to acknowledge that breastfeeding is biologically superior, and thus acknowledge importance of the intimate mother-newborn diad that is necessary for successful breastfeeding would bring the whole house of cards crashing down. It sheds a very unpleasant light on the mechanics surrogacy and the glorified purchase of infants by wealthy men and women. To accept that it's OK to rent womens bodies and purchase babies, you have to ignore the importance of the mothering role and the relationship between mother and baby.

So many typos in that post, sorry.

Interesting to see surrogacy come up in Breastfeeding week in another way.

"Breastfeeding is the biological norm for nourishing our babies, and a natural step towards parenthood. As surrogacy gets more common in Assisted Reproduction, the commissioning mother who enjoys parenthood through surrogacy should also get an opportunity to breastfeed their babies"

https://www.femina.in/wellness/gynaec/worldbreastfeedingweek-all-you-need-to-know-about-induced-lactation-202055.html

This makes me so furious in so many different ways, the arrogance and ignorance of some men is just beyond belief. I can't wait to see Janice Turner's take on this, she has a way of encapsulating and clarifying my rage with proper words rather than spluttering fury.

Looking on Twitter, I can see that Hadley Freeman is already commenting, and I think Sophie Walker is getting her thoughts together.

He did an IG live with Bobbie last night (I got an alert) but I thought it would be one of the other Queer Eye presenters. I didn’t watch.
You can watch it on the Bobbie IG page. Whole thing is very bizarre.

2016

'A team of researchers from the World Health Organisation and Unicef estimated that 800,000 child deaths a year worldwide would be prevented if breast milk was universally used to feed babies, The Lancet reported.'

It is WORLD bf week. WORLD.

This person has ZERO knowledge of the history issues etc.

And wades in anyway.

It's properly disgusting tbh. This has really fucked me off.

[quote OhHolyJesus]Interesting to see surrogacy come up in Breastfeeding week in another way.

"Breastfeeding is the biological norm for nourishing our babies, and a natural step towards parenthood. As surrogacy gets more common in Assisted Reproduction, the commissioning mother who enjoys parenthood through surrogacy should also get an opportunity to breastfeed their babies"

[[https://www.femina.in/wellness/gynaec/worldbreastfeedingweek-all-you-need-to-know-about-induced-lactation-202055.html]][/quote]
commissioning mother

Like… commissioning a project, or an artwork, something you.. acquire?!

Like… commissioning a project, or an artwork, something you.. acquire?! I don't know many adoptive mothers but the few I do have certainly never referred to themselves as "commissioning mothers".

In Tan's case, it was through commercial surrogacy, that he became a father (social or genetic I've no idea who provided the sperm) so it is very much purchased a baby, ordered into being so 'commissioning' or even 'purchasing' parent sounds about right.

This is not in anyway connected to adoption, for me it is entirely opposite in fact, in the same way that terminating an unwanted pregnancy is opposite to very deliberately having a baby. I wouldn't shame anyone for bottle feeding their baby, I do however think Tan is a vile human for commodifying they body of a woman and using his newly acquired status as a commissioning parent to promote formula during breastfeeding week.

It's so deliberately provocative on several levels, is screams misogyny...but I'd rather he feed his premature-born baby boy formula he can clearly afford than drug induced bodily fluid from his own nipples.

I do however think Tan is a vile human for commodifying they body of a woman and using his newly acquired status as a commissioning parent to promote formula during breastfeeding week.

Oh, just this. The more I think about it the angrier I get. How dare he.

@OhHolyJesus

In Tan's case, it was through commercial surrogacy, that he became a father (social or genetic I've no idea who provided the sperm) so it is very much purchased a baby, ordered into being so 'commissioning' or even 'purchasing' parent sounds about right.

This is not in anyway connected to adoption, for me it is entirely opposite in fact, in the same way that terminating an unwanted pregnancy is opposite to very deliberately having a baby. I wouldn't shame anyone for bottle feeding their baby, I do however think Tan is a vile human for commodifying they body of a woman and using his newly acquired status as a commissioning parent to promote formula during breastfeeding week.

It's so deliberately provocative on several levels, is screams misogyny...but I'd rather he feed his premature-born baby boy formula he can clearly afford than drug induced bodily fluid from his own nipples.

All of this. 100 percent.

@Franca123

I'd like to know where in the UK women don't have access to clean water? I'd also point out that in certain circles there is huge stigma attached to bottle feeding. Almost as soon as I became pregnant the pressure started and lasted throughout. I'd also like to see the evidence that breast is best and the measure by which that claim is made. Having said that, I don't particularly like gay male parents who have used women to produce to baby for them banging this drum. It's irksome and clearly an attempt to normalise surrogacy which is problematic to say the least.

We are lucky enough to have clean water in the UK but the same isn’t true in many countries.

If you don’t think breast milk is a superior food for babies, JFGI.

If there’s a stigma against bottle feeding it obviously doesn’t work very well given the low levels of breastfeeding in the UK.

Can I just ask, are we sure it was commercial surrogacy? Has he said so? Commercial surrogacy makes my blood boil, but familial or friend surrogacy willingly gone into is a great and loving thing. I want to be sure before I rage?

From an article on Google News -

'It's wonderful that you have the luxury and the privilege to be able to feed your baby with your breasts.'

FFS. The word 'luxury' really pissed me off. When I had mastitis, I cried everytime my baby wanted to feed because I knew how much it was going to hurt.

@Franca123 in the UK the issue is more likely to be with not actually being able to afford formula. Breastmilk is free after all.

In terms of breast is best, breast milk is made specifically for that baby. It contains everything they need in terms of nutrition plus a whole load of immunity from mum. It changes to meet their needs. If it's hot, it contains more water. If they get a cold, it ups the antibodies from mum.

It's like the most perfectly made salad, just perfect for what you fancy that meal time.

Formula is a wonderful nutritional alternative. It has saved lives and sanity. But it cannot mimic all that breast milk does. It's like a ready made salad. Still good for you, but might have a couple more tomatoes that you want or not enough cucumbers.