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Insomnia friends - I will sleep well tonight because I have told my unconscious I will

1000 replies

BeckyBendyLegs · 26/05/2010 18:40

And here it is!

Actually DH is coming around to the idea of ADs as he sees that I need a bit of a break from this stress I am putting myself under. But I've been skepitcal about them too for ages and ages (partly because I felt so crap taking fluoxitine). I've learnt a lot more about them though and recently found out my niece has taken and is back on the same sort you and CountryLover take as she says she has had big anxiety and insomnia issues. She also said, interestingly, she's never had any problems coming off them (one of my worries).

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BeckyBendyLegs · 11/06/2010 08:15

Morning all! Took me ages to go to sleep last night (I really shouldn't watch Big Brother if I want to have restful nights' sleep) and DH went to bed at the same time as me and as usual he fell asleep literally as soon as he lay down (pig!). Anyway, not a bad night really, quite average for me. Very, very nervous though... no idea what to say really. Feel a bit of a fraud still, I'm not down all of the time.

Have a busy day today: school drop off, Children Centre drop in with DS3, home to drop off DS3 with DH, doctors to see this CMHT woman, lunch at friend's house, PTA meeting, pick up from school - home at 3.45pm and even then I'll try to squeeze in an hour's work before teatime madness! So basically I will be run off my feet all day.

Anyone else doing anything exciting today? GetDown when do you get your blood test results?

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topsi · 11/06/2010 08:39

Good luck today Becky. Let us kno how it goes.
I had an awful night, went to bed at the usual 9pm and then got realy upset and ended up crying my eyes out, then couldn't settle.
Was awake till about one then woke up about five I think. Not sure what's up with me at the moment, just going through a bad patch I suppose.
Well DS is still naked and we need to leave in 20 mins for nursery then I have a full day at work. Looking forward to an early night tonight!!
Good day to you all x

arcadia96 · 11/06/2010 09:11

Sorry to hear about your night Topsi .
Hope it goes well today Becky.

BeckyBendyLegs · 11/06/2010 13:10

I'm back! Not at all what I expected. No drugs: all about mindfulness, relaxation and CBT. More later.

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topsi · 11/06/2010 18:13

I am shattered!! DH is off to get a pizza, DS is at Grandma's tonight. Am planning to eat pizza and try and stay awake for a film then another early night, wow my life is full of excitement.
Hope every one else got through the day OK.
Sounds interesting Becky look forward to hearing about it.

GetDownYouWillFall · 11/06/2010 19:20

Hi all!

Sorry for not checking in earlier have had a manic day!

Sorry to hear you had a bad night topsi hopefully tonight will be much better.

Looking forward to hearing more about your CMHT appt becky - sounds interesting! Don't think mine have ever mentioned those things in any of my appointments (I did CBT but had to do it privately). Well done for going and for getting through it. If they are offering you NHS -funded mindfulness, CBT etc I would be biting their hand off for it TBH. Esp. as you are quite rightly reluctant to take drugs...

I had toddler club this morning (always busy toddler craziness) then my CPN came this afternoon and stayed 1 and a half hours then had a meet up with my NCT ladies ... most of them have now had second babies too, so it was totally crazy ... (secretly glad it wasn't in my house!!) So am really tired now.

Had another weird night where I woke up about 3 times and had very strange dreams. Had a dream last night about turning up at an orchestra concert with my violin (which I haven't played for about 10 years) and joining in the concert
I can't say I was conscious of restless legs though - so I am very confused about that now ... don't really know what to believe any more. My CPN warned me that private practise tends to throw all the expensive tests / procedures at everything because usually insurance companies are paying so money is no object. So that concerned me a bit.

She was also a bit about why I had sought a private psychiatrist's opinion and was concerned I was disengaging with the NHS - err, yes, because the NHS has been sooooo helpful... so was left feeling a bit confused by her visit too.

Sigh.

BeckyBendyLegs · 11/06/2010 19:43

Well, my appointment wasn't at all what I expected. I expected the CMHT woman to start by saying 'you might like to try bla bla medication' or 'you need to give fluoxitine another go' or similar but this did not happen.

Firstly she said 'how are you finding your medication?' and I replied 'I'm not on medication'. She thought I was taking the fluoxtine still. So then I told her my story - about how insomnia and anxiety took me to the Drs, and the saga of taking diazepam then zopiclone until I scared myself about getting addicted to zopiclone and taking herbal tablets then trying hypnotherapy, etc but how the problem comes and goes. I told her about my failed attempt at taking fluoxitine. She seemed to accept that without question.

So then she asks me about my worries and stuff. I talk about worry about the sleep, about the DSs, about DH working so hard, etc. So she says 'well you are basically a worrier and your tank of anxieties is overflowing so we've got to find a way to keep it level'. She suggested I find out more about mindfulness and CBT (nothing offered on the NHS by the way - just imformation for me to investigate via the internet). She seemed really big on mindfulness but I don't really know what it is, yet. So I need to do some research. She said 'basically you are in a phase in your life when you've got so much on and so many things to do you have wound yourself up too high and you need to learn to wind yourself down again a notch'. She thought I'd always been a worrier, which is true, but somehow it had got out of control. There was no mention of medication at all really. We talked about hypnosis too and she said she used Paul McKenna to help her sleep! Weird or what?

So I will see her again in two weeks. Not sure what to think really. She suggested a weekend retreat course that does mindfulness which appearntly costs about £50! Not sure what that's all about.

So hey ho. Tired now. Looking forward to a relaxing evening with DH and an early night as I'm off to Birmingham tomorrow to meet a friend.

GetDown your CPN seems a bit negative. Surely the place you seek help from is irrelevant so long as it solves the issues in hand! You can have the private side working alongside the NHS, can't you? They are not opposites in my opinion.

So let's have good night's sleep tonight everyone

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willsurvivethis · 11/06/2010 19:52

Becky i have some mindfulness CDs and booklets from my old therapist that I'm not using (I use my own form of mindfulness plus relaxing too far right now when I'm on my own is not safe). If you CAT me your address I'll be happy to let you have it.

GetDownYouWillFall · 11/06/2010 19:52

Wow that's brilliant, £50 for a weekend retreat sounds like a bargain!

I'm really pleased to hear they haven't just thrown drugs at you

I read a book on mindfulness a while ago. It was good but at the time I couldn't really get my head around it. A lot of the stuff made sense though - focusing on the present rather than worrying about past or future, enjoying current sensations, "being" rather than "doing" - that kind of thing.

Definitely worth investigating further. That's funny that she uses Paul McKenna to sleep too - must be good then!

Was she a psychiatrist?

I'm not sure my CPN was meaning to be negative, I think she was just expressing concerns. I feel like I have so much to think about at the moment, my head is struggling to process it all.

BeckyBendyLegs · 11/06/2010 20:21

WillSurvive I don't know what catting is! We are facebook buddies though aren't we? At least I think we are. Are you the person who is 'WillSurive is off to sleep now, no really!' at the moment? If that is you I will email you there my address. That's very sweet of you Thank you.

I can't quite believe the £50 thing but I will check it out.

I don't know what her qualifications were. She just introduced herself as 'Vron'!

GetDown I know what you mean about processing. At least you have the weekend to think a bit about it all.

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willsurvivethis · 11/06/2010 20:24

No Becky that is not me but i am on fb, friends with Mittz, Madmathsmummy, Toccata, Littlemarshmellow, Simpson, RHKS and a few thousand others.

My initials are IDH and my photo is close up of me and ds

see if you can find me or I will think of another hint

BeckyBendyLegs · 11/06/2010 20:28

Oh crumbs who is that then? I thought that was you!!!! Oh dear. I've found you and sent you a friend request

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GetDownYouWillFall · 11/06/2010 20:29

How do you lot all find each other on Facebook?

BeckyBendyLegs · 11/06/2010 20:29

I feel worried now I've made friends with someone on facebook who I thought was someone from here (ie you WillSurvive) and in fact it is someone else but I can't work out who it is, whether they are from here or some random person from elsewhere! I really need to get a grip sometimes

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BeckyBendyLegs · 11/06/2010 20:30

GetDown are you on facebook? Search for the Keep Calm and Carry On group and I'm there as a member, initials RC and pic of me and the three DSs (same pic as I have put on my profile here).

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GetDownYouWillFall · 11/06/2010 20:31

No one wants to be my friend

willsurvivethis · 11/06/2010 20:32

Found you becky

Will I keep meaning to ask you if you are on FB

will try to find you or find me the same way Becky did

BeckyBendyLegs · 11/06/2010 20:33

GetDown don't be daft! I think we should defo be facebook buddies!!! I've been meaning to ask you if you were there, and Arcadia too! And CountryLover - since we are all insomnia buddies.

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BeckyBendyLegs · 11/06/2010 20:35

And Topsi too!

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GetDownYouWillFall · 11/06/2010 20:36

Have searched "keep calm and carry on" and all I get is this or this

willsurvivethis · 11/06/2010 20:38

getdown no good trying to find you i have nowhere to start - do you have any other mn fb friends?

BeckyBendyLegs · 11/06/2010 20:39

Ok, how about the group 'my lame brush with fame'. I'm a member of that, initials RC. And via me you'll find WillSurvive!

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GetDownYouWillFall · 11/06/2010 20:42

Ah ha! There you are becky - my initials are BD...

GetDownYouWillFall · 11/06/2010 20:43

have sent you a friend request

GetDownYouWillFall · 11/06/2010 20:46

sent one to you too willsurvive

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