Insomnia friends - I will sleep well tonight because I have told my unconscious I will

[BeckyBendyLegs]

And here it is!

Actually DH is coming around to the idea of ADs as he sees that I need a bit of a break from this stress I am putting myself under. But I've been skepitcal about them too for ages and ages (partly because I felt so crap taking fluoxitine). I've learnt a lot more about them though and recently found out my niece has taken and is back on the same sort you and CountryLover take as she says she has had big anxiety and insomnia issues. She also said, interestingly, she's never had any problems coming off them (one of my worries).

Nathan knows when we need cheering up - here

that's fantastic!

madmouse what a little treasure. No wonder you are bursting with pride.

Madmouse

hi how are we all?

Has DS sat up again madmouse?

I have decided: exercise is the way to go. If you exercise in late afternoon early evening (at least 3-4 hours before bed) you increase your body temp and then it drops a few hours later, simulating what happens when you fall asleep.

I have been jogging again. Definitely improving my sleep - yay!

I had a shockingly bad night .

This is despite:
-being exhausted from previous bad nights (mainly due to DD);

• having been for a 1km swim, as early before bed as I can do;

-having a glass of wine during wind down time -having a nytol

• not feeling anxious.

I thought I was guaranteed to conk out but it seems not. I didn't even get a few hours deep sleep to start with, I kept dozing and waking every hour or so til three then was awake from about 3 til 5.30 when poor DP went in with DD who has a cold. He was then up from then as she was chatting; I put a pillow over my ear (in addition to the earplugs) and managed to get a couple more broken hours.

Rubbish. I'm sure it's triggered by DD's broken nights though. And I have to do tonight and the morning as DP is going out tonight and wants to swap lie-ins.

Will this ever end??? What if it's like this when I go back to work? I have a really responsible job which can be stressful. I have to remember things and do court hearings!!!!

GetDown google relora. It was on another thread (I forget which and don't have time to check - DD won't sleep this morning) and was recommended by someone. Hasn't arrived yet though so am chasing with the company as seems to be lost in post but don't think they are dodgy . Don't order til I let you know it's come though!

oh arcadia

Am so sorry to hear that. Try to remember that bad nights do happen occasionally to EVERYONE, regardless of circumstances.

It's annoying that you did all the right things and still didn't sleep that well.

But the fact is those things DO work. You will have the odd bad night whatever you do / don't do. I have come to the conclusion there are some nights I just cannot explain... e.g. back in May I had one of my worst nights EVER, not getting to sleep till 5am. This was despite being VERY tired.

I still haven't worked that one out. But maybe we don't have to...

keep doing all the right things.

Annoying BTW that GP won't prescribe you mirtazapine

thanks re. the relora!

arcadia poor you. I know that sort of night, it feels horrible. But as getdown says try not to analyse, something I am terrible at not doing (so easy for me to give advice, that I don't take!). I think, and over think all the time. But really we should just not do that. I often say to DH 'I wish someone would wipe my memory of just the thoughts about sleep since January and I could start again afresh'.

I slept well last night and did go to bed anxious about sleeping well, so go figure that one! It was raining really hard last night as DH and I went to bed (and in a caravan it sounds really loud too!) and a few years ago our house was flooded which affected me quite badly at the time with nightmares and horrible anxiety whenever it rained. So I had awful flood dreams last night! But, and this felt totally lovely, really struggled to wake up this morning and just kept drifting in and out of sleep. That hasn't happened to me since before DS3 was born. It was lovely to just lie in bed and dream and drift. DH got up and made me a coffee to try and wake me up a bit!

becky it's lovely when you wake and feel so relaxed you could just fall straight asleep again. I love it when that happens (not very often unfortunately)

Glad you had a good night, but about your flood, that must have been a nightmare. We nearly bought a beautiful house but the garden backed onto a river and I just was terrified about the flood risk, so we didn't go for it in the end.

Hi all

Arcadia sorry you had another bad night despite trying so hard - almost makes you think you tried too hard

Getdown no he hasn't sat up again - told dh to tell nursery so they can keep an eye out!

Becky sorry that the rain/flood thing affected you - but it is a logical response.

I slept well - just wake up tired but it beats lying awake.

Bit sad today as a really lovely and special person died - one of the judges I used to appear before a lot. Mad as a march hare but in and in good and passionate. She was not even 50 . I phoned an old colleague to talk about it as I know he was close to her but it has really affected me. Things never used to...

Arrghh! . Having a s* day. DD finally went to sleep at lunchtime but a friend was due to drive over (about an hour's journey) to see us, so I couldn't go to sleep myself and was waiting for her for ages. I hate waiting for people. She's finally called to say she's completely lost as her satnav broke so I've had to give her detailed directions from the other side of the city. And now DD is awake.
And I'm shattered!!!!
I feel really annoyed and grumpy though it's not her fault (friend, or DD!).

Constantly on the verge of tears today. Completely fed up. And DP off out with the lads tonight

oh arcadia! Breathe, breathe!!

You will be ok. Having your friend over will distract you and I'm sure you'll feel better for it.

Try to think of not having a nap today as making you extra tired for sleep tonight.

I agree arcadia try not to get stressed about not having a nap. If dh is out this evening can you not set aside time for yourself once dd is in bed? I know how you feel - if I'm that tired its all I can do to keep the tears away.

Arcadia I am the same; emotions spilling out all over the place when I am tired. It's very hard.

It won't be long until your DD is in bed and you can relax a bit before going to bed yourself and you will sleep tonight as you are so tired.

Thank you everyone! I did have quite a good day in the end. I went out to a children's centre and then had two good friends over, one this afternoon and we went to a cafe, and one in the evening. Neither of those friends have kids but are both excellent with babies ! So much easier to have a proper conversation with someone when there is just one baby there rather than when you both have your babies.
We had lovely chats and they also really helped me out. One of them has just left and I've had a really nice evening.
Re tonight - DD still coldy and teething so likely to be a bit disturbed by her, but at least I have DP around to help tomorrow and will get a lie in either tomorrow or Sunday morning .

Arcadia that's the spirit - well done you. Hope you get the sleep you deserve

I'm a bit down in the dumps - dh is going away on retreat for a week on wednesday to the other side of the country. He needs to go, i pushed him to go, I booked his train tickets tonight but I'm so daunted and worried about coping . I will be camping with a friend for two days and my friends will be around but the flashbacks have only just stopped and I'm fretting that they will return when I'm alone....probably being daft but havign a real wobble. Not helped by fact that dh is also very daunted and his depression is a bit more evident.

Madmouse you will cope. I coped when DH was in Brussells and Berlin and I thought I'd go to pieces but I didn't. As you know the stress hit me as soon as he was back instead. I don't know if that might happen to you as well. The thing is, there is no way of knowing. I think you will cope, and you've got all of us here to support you.

arcadia I hope your DD slept well last night, and you too. I slept so well I don't even remember any dreams or anything. We're going home today. I don't want to go home. I want to live here forever but as DH has very kindly pointed out, he works in Birmingham and Borth to Birmingham is a bit of a commute. Why did I have to marry someone so damn practical and sensible? I've even found a dream house. It's not for sale or anything but it would be perfect!

Becky when we go on a really nice holiday we try and calculate if we sold our house how long we could carry on living in the holiday accommodation. Bit sad of us!
My DP is also very practical and sensible I think it's what you and I need, maybe!

I had a fantastic sleep last night . Nearly 10 hours in total. Slept right through from 11.30 til 5.30 when DD woke up, then I spent half an hour with DD then DP got up I went back to bed and got another 3 hours or so! I feel so fresh . I did take a sominex, they work well for me at the moment.

Madmouse I'm sure you will be OK. I sometimes find it is good for me and DP to be apart for a little while, you will appreciate eachother more when you are back together again.

My inpatient notes just came in the post. I requested them under the Access to Care Records thingey.

It is a whopping file, containing a wadge of paper 2 inches thick!!

Have been reading it with interest. Particularly interesting to read the bit where I was unconscious for 36 hours... I wasn't lying in my bed as I'd thought... I was pacing the corridors "looking lost and confused and her speech is incoherent"

I feel a weird mixture of emotions, intrigued, shocked, sad

We're back home :(

Arcadia so glad you slept well - 10 hours!!!!

GetDown I bet that makes fascinating reading. It's part of your history - just think how far you've come since then!

Glad you had such a good time Becky!

That must be weird GetDown, reading those notes. It is incredible to think how you have recovered from that so well.

We've had a lovely day. My friend (with a baby just turned one) has just gone back to work part time and says she feels so much better. I'm really feeling positive about it.

Arcadia I can deal with being apart from dh in itself although I hate it, I have done it many times before. Some of the worst flashbacks I have been struggling with are those to the moment when I had first been raped and realised I was totally on my own and to a moment when I knew my parents were only downstairs but I could not go to them to tell them what was happening. They are so painful and have me screaming and sobbing for ages. And they tend to be triggered by feeling alone in real life that's why I am scared that they will happen again. And so I'm anxious already despite it only being saturday....bad night didn't help.

Getdown I can't imagine what it felt like to read those notes about yourself...I find it weird enough to be told by friends how they perceived me this time last year and how worried they were. But this is on a different scale. If you want to talk about you know where I am don't you.

Becky look back on your holidays and feel very proud sleeping so well!! Glad you had such a good time that you didn't want to come home.

Arcadia keep going, it will get better!!!

Madmouse is there anyone you could have stay for a few days just to keep you company (and so you're not alone)? Would just having someone in the house help?

I slept well last night again despite going to bed anxious about sleeping. I don't know why I still feel anxious about getting enough sleep when I am sleeping so well at the moment. It doesn't make sense to me.

My niece is back home and back on facebook posting stuff as if nothing has happened (although her first status update said 'sorry for worrying everyone').