Insomnia friends - I will sleep well tonight because I have told my unconscious I will

[BeckyBendyLegs]

And here it is!

Actually DH is coming around to the idea of ADs as he sees that I need a bit of a break from this stress I am putting myself under. But I've been skepitcal about them too for ages and ages (partly because I felt so crap taking fluoxitine). I've learnt a lot more about them though and recently found out my niece has taken and is back on the same sort you and CountryLover take as she says she has had big anxiety and insomnia issues. She also said, interestingly, she's never had any problems coming off them (one of my worries).

Becky you have nothing to prove. All you have to do is take as many reasonable steps as you can to get some sleep which you do. I know the feeling. I've so often wanted to be better for the people caring for and loving me but it doesn't work. You are doing really well.

Thinking I had 10 good nights I must carry on having good nights is unhelpful. Keep taking it one day (night) at a time.

You ARE doing great.

As am I - six hours straight sleep. Tired but ok

You're right. I need to be a bit easier on myself. I think I have this in common with GetDown. She's trying to prove she's better and ready to TTC and I'm trying to prove I have back to my previous self again and that puts added pressure on. Go with the flow. That's the best way to go.

I actually feel ok today. We're all up now and I have some work to do today during naps DS1 and DS2 willing and then we're going to collect DS1 and DS2's holiday photos from Boots in town.

Glad you had some good solid sleep :)

I hope GetDown is having a lovely holiday - it's quiet without her!

hi everyone...glad to have found the insomnia thread.

Hi! Hello alypaly I remember you from when I was really suffering badly in January. How are things going for you?

I slept ok last night. DH is back from Brussells but off to Berlin tomorrow. Sigh. I'm off to Warwickshire today with DS2 (DS1 still has man flu and DS3 is staying with DH). We're off to see a friend who went to live in New Zealand about ten years ago. I miss her so much!

Becky glad you slept well. Was wondering if you would with dh coming back at mad times.

Warwickshire? That's where I am

We're taking d to the zoo today I think.

I've slept madly well, feel all dozy now

Hi Alypaly how are you doing?

Madmouse we went to Southam where my friend lives. I have another friend who lives in Wellesbourne, which is around there somewhere too!

We had a good time and it was great to catch up with old friends.

Back home now, back to the madness.

Southam's not far from here Becky!

I'm so going to have a good night tonight! Had a fab day at the zoo with dh and ds and then tonight we went out on a canal boat belonging to people from our church with some friends - two hours of chugging along in the fading light was amazingly calming, we were all chilled beyond belief.

At a turning point I got off for a bit with the daughters of friends (10 and 13) and we ran around shouting silly comments from a bridge to their dad who was turning the boat. was lovely to feel carefree...

Hope we all sleep well x

hi becky and madmouse.
i remember you too becky

have been to play badminton tonight but still dont feel tired

have had loads of stress from a job i have just had to jack in and its made my sleep pattern even worse. its also unfortunately brought a bit of depression on and i dont know how to shrug it off.

Oh Alypaly :( I remember you as you have two sons, right? Quite grown up now? Have you had any medical advice about your sleep and depression? They really do seem to go hand in hand. I realise you are quite a veteran when it comes to insomnia and I don't want to sound like the sort of person who says (and gets a slap for saying): 'have you tried lavender oil, warm baths, etc?' but have you thought about trying hypnosis, such as the frequently-mentioned on this thread Mr Paul McKenna CD?

My sleep has been really much, much better lately. There is still a slight anxiety about sleep there, but I think it is fading, very slowly. At the moment I have so many challenges that I'm amazed I am sleeping so well. Last night I was anxious as DH going to Berlin today for three days. But I slept really well! Tomorrow night, I stupidly agreed to have DS1's friend over for a sleepover so that is me, alone, with FOUR BOYS to look after ages 6, 6, 4, and 9 months. Oh stupid idiot I am! Then we're off to Wales on Saturday so seven nights in a tiny 'double' bed with DH in a caravan! DH is six foot five too so he's likely to be restless in a tiny bed. Ah well.

But my mood is good at the moment. I actually find the school holidays much less stressful than term time. I'm sure most parents find it the other way around?

Madmouse that sounds just lovely - and yesterday was a lovely evening weather wise too!

Next time I go to Southam I'll wave! I used to go to visit her a lot as we lived in Charlbury (25 mins below Banbury) but now it's a lot further away so don't go very often.

DH in Berlin - feel ok at the moment. DS3 was lovely at bathtime and bedtime tonight so feel calm and happy with the world. Going to have some tea and then do an hour's work before bed zzz

Friend posted on my fb how lovely it was to see me glow again last night - God know he's seen enough of my tears to last him a lifetime

Yesterday was just a fantastic day. Today I'm a bit low, wonder if it is just a reaction to having such a 'high' day yesterday. My moods haven't magically all stabilised at once I expect.

I did have a good night I think, but DH complained about me being restless and noisy!

Becky you are doing great. Hope you get to bed on time - my enemy when dh is away is failing to get to bed on time. Glad ds3 helped you to relax.

Alypaly how are you today?

Getdown hope you are having a fab time - it's quiet on here without you

hi becks and madmouse....im ok today ,had a sleeping tablet last night and i slept reasonably well thanks. got alot of worries at the moment and trying to cope on my own. I work in the pharmaceutical profession becky, so i have tried virtually everything over the years. I guess its all the stress over the years and just being perpetually lonely (although i try not to show it). Being a single mum doesnt help as i go to bed on my own EVERY night.
I guess im a bit sad that life has turned out like this...but hey Ive got 2 fantastic boys

Alypaly you said it: 'I've got 2 fantastic boys'. I have so much respect for single mums (my mum was one of three for many years - and even before they divorced she was virtually a single mum). You should be hugely proud of the fact that you have brought up two fantastic boys. You might still meet someone - there is always hope.

Well guys, despite DH being in Berlin, and me expecting last night to be a bad night as I also have DS1's friend over today for a sleepoever (eeek - kind of dreadin the chaos) I slept pretty well!!!! Yeah! I didn't sleep brilliantly, just pretty well. That's good enough for me. DS3 only woke once at about 1.10am and I gave him a dummy. One more night to go and then DH is back on Friday (although stress levels may rise then as we're suppposed to be going to Wales Saturday).

Madmouse and Becky - glad to read that you are both doing so well .
Im going away for a week on saturday - so wont be around for a few days x

Kizzie have a good break xxx take care

Morning all! I've had the night from hell (DS1's friend over for sleepover).

10.30pm Go to sleep with a cat perched on my shoulder purring really loudly.
11.45pm-12.45am ish ? DS3 niggly. He?s not hot, so no signs of illness, he?s not like total crying, just niggly. I don?t give him anything, not sure what to do. Just cuddles.
12.30am-2.15am I sleep in DS3's room as fed up of constant up and down stairs.
2.16am ? DS1 awake crying ?can?t sleep on camp bed? so I put him in my bed and I return to my own bed.
3.20am ? two little bodies appear by my side of the bed (DS2 and DS1's friend over for sleepover) ?We can?t sleep, strange shadows in the bedroom?. I take them back to bed. They talk for ages, it sounds like, but I?m too knackered to care.
4.20am ? DS1 talking in his sleep next to me ? he?s ok though.
6.30am ? awake. Sigh. What a night.

I'm a bit tired today. DH is never, ever allowed to go away again!

Hi everyone, not the best night for me :( DH back from Berlin so I should have been totally chilled but it was almost as if all the stresses of the past week coping alone just exploded out. I couldn't sleep, and subsequently got really anxious, which obviously made it worse. Woke up this morning full of self-hatred and 'you are an idiot letting this sleep thing get the better of you' thoughts.

Ah well, off on holiday today. Need to pack!

Becky that's probably exactly what happened: You've coped marvellously well - you just had a bit of a wobble when the stress levels receded...

You are doing so well

Go pack - have a fab holiday - long days of fresh air will make you sleep like a log x

I'm so tired :(

Oh Becky it sounds like you are having a really bad day - big hug xx

Is dh helping you get things ready?

Try as best you can not to worry about sleeping tonight - you are so tired that you will sleep.

Thinking of you - keep reminding yourself of how brilliant your sleep is these days s

I just feel I've let myself and everyone else down so badly - I was doing so well. And I know you're going to say that's not the way to think! I know it isn't. But I woke up feeling so awful - so full of anxiety it felt like I'd taken ten steps back. It's the fear of that horrible anxious feeling that fuels the anxiety when I haven't fallen asleep within an hour or so. Then it just makes it ten times worse... I wish someone could wipe my memory so I don't have these thought processes and just act like I used to when I couldn't sleep 'oh well, I'll fall asleep soon'.

We're nearly packed. DH gone food shopping. We're hoping to leave after lunch.

where are you going becky....im going away with DS2 on Wed to Greece. Cant wait.

Do you know whats causing you not to sleep.What makes you so anxious? Are you any better when DH is home.

Do you find holidays disrupt your sleep even more.

Hi all! Waves to alypaly - welcome to the thread!

Had a good time in Norfolk, thankfully slept mostly ok, but kept waking up with horrible headaches for some reason! Good old DH got up with her most mornings so sometimes had a lie-in till 9am!!

I got up with DD this morning though - 6am - grrr.

I am down to 3.75mg of mirtazapine!! That's a quarter of the smallest dose they make! Eeekk so excited! I think I can do this! DH told me that his busy period at work next year will be April - May, so basically we can go for a baby in June! (hopefully) so... TTC NEXT FLIPPIN CYCLE!!! Double Eeeek!

Sorry you had some bad nights becky whilst DH was away that must have been tough but you will NOT let this insomnia beat you, ok? [bossy] I think I have almost arrived at a point where, even if I have a bad night, I almost [whispers] do not care! And usually the next night is fine. So I think that is the secret! Hurrah!

I had a lovely letter from the peri-natal psychiatrist saying lots of lovely encouraging supportive things. Ahhh I want to be pregnant so I can see her, instead of my horrible normal psychiatrist! (Not just for this reason though )

I have missed you all!

Hope you have a good holiday becky - and you kizzie

madmouse - like the name - seems like you've had a bit of a breakthrough! Praise the Lord! Hope you are ok today.
xxx

Greetings all from sunny Wales! I slept ok last night - was very, very tired though. We tried to watch Jaws last night but were disrupted by DS1 coughing himself sick! He's not been well for a while now with a cold and cough, not eating much either. We're hoping a bit of sea air will help.

GetDown I am so pleased you had a good holiday and slept well. And I'm so pleased you are going to start TTCing. Yeah squared!!!!!

I agree; the key to beating this is to not care so much. I am nearly there, not quite, but nearly there.

DH is cooking bacon butties - yumm. Better go and eat one xxx