Insomnia friends - I will sleep well tonight because I have told my unconscious I will

[BeckyBendyLegs]

And here it is!

Actually DH is coming around to the idea of ADs as he sees that I need a bit of a break from this stress I am putting myself under. But I've been skepitcal about them too for ages and ages (partly because I felt so crap taking fluoxitine). I've learnt a lot more about them though and recently found out my niece has taken and is back on the same sort you and CountryLover take as she says she has had big anxiety and insomnia issues. She also said, interestingly, she's never had any problems coming off them (one of my worries).

Becky for you x

hey becky that's amazing! .

A quick update from me... don't have time to come on very much as DD hardly naps in day and we're busy in evenings...

Yesterday I went to a really nice drop in group at a family centre that I've been going to for months. Always meet lovely people there and lots of my friends go too. I was astonished; we discovered five of us there yesterday had sleeping problems! There was a range of reasons and severity, but we were so excited to have found each other! I'm starting to think it is actually really common after having a baby. We were talking about traumatic births (one woman had almost identical labour to mine), but also the sense of responsibility that having a baby gives you, and the fact that you are on call 24/7. Had a lovely time chatting all day! (not just about sleep).

Have started taking SJW more consistently (kept forgetting before) and a more expensive brand, my mood seems good.

The other thing really helping is my swimming. Have been trying to go twice a week (after DD in bed) and am now swimming a kilometre each time and I sleep so well afterwards! Last night slept right through til nearly 5 from 11 which is amazing! (slept again after that too but not as deeply).

Also had a therapy session this week through a local parenting charity (funded by the children's centre) and I feel like I am being taken seriously properly for the first time since the birth. I have told the woman that I felt suicidal after the birth, and it is a relief to finally talk about it without having to try and minimise it to protect people.

yay! Well done you becky !!! So glad you feel rested, even after a disturbed night. You are a sleep-queen!

Weird night for me. I must have slept really really deeply! When DH came to bed I had rolled over on to his side and apparently entwined the duvet all around me in a big heap. DH said he didn't have the heart to wake me so went and slept in the spare room

I was blissfully unaware! Normally if he doesn't come to bed, I am aware of him not being there... but not last night! Oops!

Woke up with a shocking headache but paracetamol seems to have shaken it now. Just trying to convince myself I really do want to take DD to the playground..

GetDown your DH is such a sweetie!!! That's just the sort of thing mine would do as well.

Arcadia hello! Nobody talks about these things normally. I go to a drop in on a Friday (not this week as we in the caravan watching Mr Ben and waiting for DS3 to wake from his nap right now) and no-one ever mentions sleep except 'oooh Billie isn't sleeping through yet, I'm soooo tired'. I used to get so annoyed at those conversations!

Well, when DS3 wakes up we're off to the Borth carnival to watch some floats and funnily dressed people.

Better go now, make a lemsip. Sniff. Sniff.

Get yourself some nightnurse, becky, it's loaded with sedating antihistamine... you'll sleep like a baby (so to speak!)

Mmmmmmm nightnurse.

I'm actually feeling pretty good today!

None of that horrible anxiety I had a couple of days ago.

I may try cutting my AD down a bit more tonight...

Went to the playground first thing, then had a lovely milky way milkshake afterwards with DD.
Done a load of washing, which is now dry. Had a relatively successful lunch where DD ate some pasta... now she's asleep. I should be packing as we're going on holiday tomorrow....

I feel like I need some nightnurse - I am a snot monster right now. I haven't been ill since Christmas so I am being a total man about it.

We've just got back and had a lovely time despite the wind. And it didn't rain! DS3 having a late afternoon nap now and DS1 and DS2 doing jigsaws.

"being a total man about it"

I need to remember 2 steps forward one step back is still progress

Willsurvive - i have to remind myself of that often too. But it is! Im guessing today hasnt been great after yesterday - hope tomorrows better again.

Arcadia - that kind of support makes such a difference I think - glad things looking brighter for you.

GetDown and Becky - huurah for good sleep!

x

Good morning all! Had a very restless night, thanks to the fact I have lost my voice and I am a total snot monster now.

Feel really guilty as DS2 has been really hard work. He just gets so excited and he's only four but he is just a bit in your face with DS3 and I find myself telling him to back off all the time. I feel guilty though. He's only being four.

Well we're off home later today (back here next weekend with DH). Wales is wet. So we're going to have a cup of coffee in my favourite cafe which serves the best lattes in Borth after DS3 has had his nap.

Hi becky hope you don't feel too tired. I had a restless night too. Went to a friend's last night and felt myself getting really sleepy at about 9:30, decided I needed to leave but then didn't leave till 10:15!

Silly me, I was then awake till gone midnight. Don't feel too bad though.

Off to Norfolk in a while for a week!

I don't think it's wrong to tell a 4 year old to back off from his baby brother . Stop feeling guilty - you are mummy therefore you are boss! xx

Have a good time on your hols!

Getdown have a great time x

have a lovely time Getdown x

I slept like a total log last night! DH is going to Brussells today though and back tomorrow at midnight :( Then he's back for one day and off to Berlin on Wednesday to Friday. Before DS3 came along DH going away always affected my sleep (although it never used to phase me) so I need lots of PSTs please for this week!!!!

Hey Becky well you created your own PST already - even knowing you have a stressful week coming up with Dh being away you still slept like a log...You did not lie awake with anxiety.

I slept ok despite being anxious now....

Hmmm. That's true. I would have expected last night to be hard knowing I was about to be deserted. He's not even helping this morning, he's packing. So feels like he's already gone.

Why are you feeling anxious? Anything specific or are you just generally anxious?

DH has gone :( I feel like a single parent at the moment. Although in his favour he did clean the fridge while I was in Wales! I didn't even ask him to.

Becky you will cope - you have coped before and we are here

Today was stressful. I was playing guitar and singing in the church service. It was communion service and there was a humungous amount of music to get through, I was also up front doing the prayers and last but not least it was officially announced today that DH (who is one of the minsiters in the church) is taking a break due to depression. DH had fled to our little church as he didn't want to deal with the sympathy after the service and taken ds with him as I needed my hands. Leaving me to deal with the sympathy...and having to get up and play a solo straight after the announcement.

All went ok though. And had the pleasure of talking to a very close friend after and telling him that I'm finally feeling better and ready to move on. I have realised this week that I've resisted moving on as I felt I was betraying the little girl who went through all this and all the pain I wetn through. But this week I realised (after seeing a WWII veteran in tears after 60 years) that what has happened is now part of me and i can move on, sometimes feeling sad but mostly feeling good...

The joy in my friend's eyes nearly made me cry - he's been there for me every single day in the past year and a half (and at some point he did get in touch every day as there was a lot of worry about my ability to cope)and he's never stopped believing in me...

I'm getting better

I REALLY BLOODY AM!!!

WillSurvive well done for getting through this! That all sounds very stressful for you and your DH too (but a lot for you dealing with the sympathy). But you got through it very positively.

What a lovely moment of realisation and acceptance for you too - I feel very emotional for you too! What a fantastic friend you have there, standing by you and encouraging you.

You are getting better! Yeah!!!

There is hope, there is always hope.

Willsurvive- that is so good to read x you have come so far. I hope the time off helps dh too. Fingers crossed that I can follow you soon xx

I'm sure you will Kizzie - just as soon as like me you learn to be less superwoman and to look after yourself xx

Becky hope you are ok and that you will remember that you can sleep fine xx

Hi guys, not the best night ever for me... Went to bed at 10.15pm very sleepy. Was very anxious though. Was just about drifting off at 11.15pm when DS3 woke up. At 11.30pm felt quite anxious and panicky but used Paul M on the ipod and it worked. But woke a lot, anxiety in belly, missing DH. Woke up this morning feeling a bit of a failure. He's back tonight at 1am but off again Wed for three days. I want to be strong for him and prove I can cope. DS3 woke again at 3am last night. It's hard because I've slept so well for about 10 nights now. I really want to prove to myserlf and DH I am strong and I am getting better. Better go, I hear footsteps.