Insomnia friends - I will sleep well tonight because I have told my unconscious I will

[BeckyBendyLegs]

And here it is!

Actually DH is coming around to the idea of ADs as he sees that I need a bit of a break from this stress I am putting myself under. But I've been skepitcal about them too for ages and ages (partly because I felt so crap taking fluoxitine). I've learnt a lot more about them though and recently found out my niece has taken and is back on the same sort you and CountryLover take as she says she has had big anxiety and insomnia issues. She also said, interestingly, she's never had any problems coming off them (one of my worries).

GetDown mine is getting worse! I must have caught it off you

Sorry you didn't sleep well last night

Oh no! Sorry it's getting worse. Do you carry DS3 on the same hip each time? Try to alternate sides you hold him on.

Mine seems to be creeping up to my neck, very sore and stiff neck too now! Feel like I'm falling apart at the seams!

Feeling really tired today Thankfully haven't got the anxiety though, which is amazing considering such a bad night!

PST: "I'm sure I will sleep better tonight as I am tired today"

I do always carry him on my right hip. Hmmm. I'll have to try swapping him as it does hurt much more on the right side.

You will sleep better tonight. It's fantastic that you don't feel anxious about it as that is how you should be (how we all should be - how I used to be). Of course you will sleep because your body needs it. I have found that to be true with me every time I have a bad night despite worrying about it every time. I fall asleep in front of the TV at about 9pm after a bad night.

I'm trying to convince DS3 that he needs just two naps a day now (he wasn't settling well for three naps) and today is Day 1. I've just put him down after giving him lunch earlier than he is used to. Fingers crossed! He seems really tired.

Right, time to find a cattery for our cats for August. Wish me luck!

I hope your back gets better soon. As I've said before mine went big time about a year ago when I was pregnant with DS3 and I couldn't move I thought I was going to be in bed bound for ever (perhaps I've always been a catastrophizer!). It got better.

Anyone any PSTs left I can borrow?
Had my first day at work yesterday so bad night before that and was so shattered when I got home then had band practice and was over shattered there. Got talking with my friend when he dropped me home about some childhood stuff and something he said really made me think. I was in bed at 11, slept at 12 and awake at 3!!Had nightmares, really bad ones, new memories too

Was texting with friend by 5am about what had been going through my mind after our conversation (he's up by then anyway). Foolishly went back to sleep from 7.30 until 9 which made me feel terrible!!

Now I've just finished physio with ds and I'm floored. Work again tomorrow.

Help!

oh poor you willsurvive -

Awful isn't it? However, totally understandable with starting the new job and all the stuff you are working through in your head at the moment.

How about
"I will wind down tonight, do things I enjoy and will definitely sleep as I am extra tired"

Well ladies its official I've beenback to the docs and he's put me back on Citalopram!

Just to get me over this very stressful time I am having at the moment. So he's gave me 2 months supply and then if I still havent moved by then to go back and get some more.

Hey ho, what can you do!

I will sleep tonigt because I am absolutely shattered.

WillSurvive I saw your comment on the old facebook - poor you

You will sleep better tonight because last night your mind and memory was working over drive and tonight it will let your body and your brain rest.

Thank you for the PST they are really good.

Tonight I've been out gardening with my church group (we combine bible studies with helping people - mainly elderly- who struggle with their gardens) so I think two hours of gardening, fresh air and the company of friends (some who are very close and know what I'm going through) will help!

WillSurvive sounds great!

I had a badish night. I'm going to the cinema tonight so I couldn't sleep as I was excited. How sad is that? Grrrrrr. I hate this sleep anxiety madness!!!!! I really couldn't tell you how much sleep I had though but not enough. I also had awful dreams and I know what they mean too. I have this dream frequently where I have to get somewhere, up a staircase, and the staircase is broken or damaged and I'm too scared to go up - hmmm. I also dreamt last night my mum showed me a postcard and said 'that is your future' and it was a picture of me a mad alcoholic alone in a dirty bedsit. It was awful. I know this is just my insecurities about being a failure and letting everyone down and the guilt. Ah well.

I hope everyone else slept ok

Sorry you had a bad night Becky, and yes that dream will be more your fears than the reality!

I made sure I unwound, was disciplined about bed (in at 11) took a Nytol and slept till 7!!

Still very drowsy and not really feeling the benefit other than the absence of nightmares. 35 cycle ride to work shoud hopefuly sort that.

Thanks for the support yesterday - hope you all have good days.

WillSurvive that's a good night's sleep and no nightmares is good - the subconcious can be so cruel.

I don't feel too bad actually now I've got everyone up. I probably had more sleep than I thought. I just had that anxiety thing and it is so unpleasant to wake up with tight, horrible stomach. Yuck.

Guys I just wanted to tell you that I've been taking a drug called Chlorpromazine and its had an incredible effect on my insomnia- it had me sleeping as soon as I started taking it. Before that I was barely sleeping at all and was suffering from increasingly unmanageable anxiety. You may remember I have had chronic insomnia for years. My partner cant believe the change in me and although I still have problems, being able to sleep has made things more manageable. Its a mild anti psychotic and I should point out I'm not psychotic but its a drug that has been deeemed safe in pregnancy so thats why I've been given it. I personally have not had any side effects so far and am promised it has been used for 60 years (used to be used for morning sickness)in pregnant women.I'm hoping I'll only need to be on it for a short while as I dont want to be on any drugs at the moment.

I am not of course recommending drugs to anyone who is not already open to taking them and obviously your dr will advise you better than me. I just feel for anyone experiencing insomnia and wanted to share something that has helped me as I was probably the world worst sleeper. All the best to you all.

Sori you had a bad night Becky

I havent heard of that one lelarose but if it works then brilliant.

I slept well but feel knackered today. It think the Citalopram along with the Amitriptiline drugs I'm taking knocked me out. I think am going to cut my amitriptiline down to 10mg instead of 20. See how it goes.

Feeling a lot more positive though so thats good.

Hi lelarose! Pleased to hear you are sleeping so much better Everything is so much more manageable when you've slept. You keep hanging in there - you are doing great, and you will you will be fine. Glad that chlorpromazine is helping you.

Sorry about your bad night becky - hope you are telling yourself lots of positive thoughts?

I had quite a good night thankfully. Dosed myself up on painkillers to ease my back and seemed to be quite peaceful all night. It's killing again today though. Pain seems to be spreading down into my leg - getting me down a bit now. In the past when I've hurt my back it's always been better after a week.

Am doing a really really basic, gentle yoga DVD which is helping a bit. But blimey, it has made me realised I am sooooo stiff! There is one bit where you have to touch your toes and I cannot even bend over, let alone touch my toes!

Glad laura and willsurvive had relatively good nights too

I think I slept so well last night because of the drugs. Hoping for a better night tonight.

I've never stopped all day though so am pretty knackered.

Sorry your back is still sore GetDown. It realy does sound quite serious though. Do you not think you should go to docs?

Hope everyone gets a good nite.

Hi guys, really tired today! Went to see the latest Sex and the City film with a friend last night, got in at 11.15pm, DS2 waking up until 12am, then fitful sleep and dreams about Liza Minelli until 6am! But trying to be positive - of course I'm going to be tired today!

Hope everyone is ok

Hi Becky

I had a friend round for a glass of wine last night and she didnt leave until 11.10 so I am also very tired today.

This Citalopram is making me ever so tired.

GetDown

How is your back?

Fed up

Oh no! Poor you both laura and becky - feeling so tired!!

Sorry you are fed up becky - can you plan a little treat for yourself later on when the boys are all in bed, to help you get through the day?

How was the film... worth seeing??!?!

I am babysitting for a friend tonight.. hope they are not back too late

I had a weird night. Think I slept most of the night but woke up with a really bad headache and felt really grumpy. HAve been short tempered with DD. She's supposedly having a nap now.

Back is still bad, it's just down one side now. IT's manageable though, just taking paracetamol.

Hope you all have ok days. I've got washing to hang out - next on my list!!

I'm ok, I'm just fed up generally of days like today when it feels like I'm having to get through the day. I feel like I've lost my old self who just slept well ALL THE TIME! That is unless disturbed by a small person in the night.

The film was really good! I really enjoyed it.

I suppose this is one of the sacrifices of having children things are never going to be exactly the same as they were before!

Ah well, one day they will all leave home and we will look back on these days with misty-eyed nostalgia!!

Glad you enjoyed the film. I haven't been to the cinema in absolutely ages. Think Avatar was the last thing I saw.

Aah Chin up Becky.

You will get there but I do know what you mean about sleeping normally. TBH i was like this after my second DD was born and it took a while before I realised it waa actually stress keeping me awake.

That was round about the time I first got put on Citalopram. And it creeps back up on me every time I'm stressed so try not to worry too much. And dont be so hard on yourself children are hard work no two ways about it!

Glad you enjoyed the film though.

GetDown I'm glad your back is starting to feel a little better and you are right our time will come when we can go and have a night out and not have to worry about being worken up in the middle of the night or having an early start due to children!

I'm happy today because my hubby is home this afternoon so I'm looking forward to seeing him. I feel absolutely shattered now though but have promised a friend I will go on bike ride tonight.

GetDown I slept well after having DS1 and DS2 - if they woke me in the night I'd just go back to sleep and even if we had a bad night I'd be just like 'ah well, I'll sleep tonight'. Somehow I just got on with it. It really didn't bother me at all. For some reason this time around my brain has picked sleep as something to worry over and it can't let it go despite my best efforts. I wish I had the answer. I know it is all in my head now. I did have insomnia, proper insomnia, at the beginning but now it's just my head. Grrrrrrrrr. It is stress and anxiety now keeping me awake or causing me to have fitful sleep but how do I get rid of it? I know I could take medication but the GP is clueless, the CMHT woman seems to think I don't really need it, and perhaps I don't. I still don't know. Sorry to obsess and be all me, me, me. Ahhhhh guilt!

Glad your back is getting a bit better though. Take it easy though still, won't you? Baby steps and all that.

no need to apologise! You have seen, I am exactly the same!!

I admire you the way you have stayed free of ADs. I think you're doing the right thing BTW. I hate taking my ADs, I will be so glad when I'm rid of them!

I got a call from my CPN yesterday saying she has referred me to the peri-natal psychiatrist to talk about TTC-ing!! Gulp - nervous!

DH and I agreed we would start trying in October - eeeek! Am I mad?

I am down to 7.5 mg of mirtazapine now so hopefully still lots of time to get off that final last bit.

Do you remember that history I wrote of my insomnia? My CPN asked for a copy and she wants to send it on the the peri-natal psychiatrist!

I know what you mean about obsessing about sleep. I was the same as you, before all this happened I would just go to bed and sleep and not worry about it! Also if I had a bad night I would shrug it off and sleep better the next night. I do worry that somehow I will always have this "issue" about sleep now... do you feel like that too?

Hopefully though over time, we will get fully back to normal x

GetDown I am an eternal optimist and I think that is so exciting that you could be TTCing in October! I think you've done so well to get down to half your medication too without any problems (and you've had to cope with your DH working silly hours too). You are very strong and an inspiration.

I do worry that this is it now for the rest of my life, I will always have that niggle about sleep. I hope not. I would give anything, I'd give up anything, to be back to how I was, before Christmas Eve, which to me was the trigger (it all started with a nasty splinter between my finger nail and finger I got on my way to bed on Christmas Eve). Perhaps I wasn't fine before then but my sleep was. I think the anxiety started as soon as DS3 was born. Ah well. No point dwelling really. Positive thoughts from now on