Insomnia friends - I will sleep well tonight because I have told my unconscious I will

[BeckyBendyLegs]

And here it is!

Actually DH is coming around to the idea of ADs as he sees that I need a bit of a break from this stress I am putting myself under. But I've been skepitcal about them too for ages and ages (partly because I felt so crap taking fluoxitine). I've learnt a lot more about them though and recently found out my niece has taken and is back on the same sort you and CountryLover take as she says she has had big anxiety and insomnia issues. She also said, interestingly, she's never had any problems coming off them (one of my worries).

Not a great night for me either

Like you becky I just had loads of anxieties going round and round my head. DH left for work at 6am this morning. That's when my day started. Have already had horrible toilet troubles

Slept very lightly all night. My back is still so sore and I've got an awful headache today as well. Don't think I can go to the GP as they will no doubt somehow turn it round to being part of my "mental condition" which makes me so angry and upset.

I just have to struggle on. So tired of being on my own all the time.

DD is really testing me. She pulled all her clothes out of her drawers this morning, and has emptied all the under-cot storage boxes (folded up tiny baby clothes) so her room now looks like a bomb has hit it, but my back is too sore to bend down and sort it all out

Sorry about your neice becky - where is she, is there any way you could meet up with her?

Oh I am sorry you both had bad nights ladies.

Poor you Becky. You sound like you desparately need some rest. Is there anyone who can take little one for a while so that you can get your head down?

You too GetDown. Its hard being on your own I know only too well. Leave her bedroom until your back is better its not going to kill anyone. Please go back to the GP there is a really good pain killer called Diclophenic which is brilliant for easing the pain. I've had it a couple of times for my back after DD2 was born and it really helps.

GetDown. Why are you on your own again, is your partner away with work? Do you have any family.

Becky and GetDown

Go and get yourselves a very strong cup of tea/coffee and then get out of the house for a change of scenery even though you may not feel like it you will feel better in the long run.

I'm ok but had a right go at DH this morning again. He really iritated me but I wont go into it you both have enough to concentrate on.

Thanks laurasarah ... I am on my own a lot at the moment, because DH is working so hard. It's his busiest time of the year. I hardly see him between May - July. Thankfully the rest of the year he is around a lot and is a very "hands on" daddy.

I think it's partly why my back has gone - having to do everything on my own has taken it's toll.

I've got out the house and been to the shops. The painkillers are kicking in now,. Have also got some of that freeze gel which I'm going to put on in a bit. Feeling really tired and weary.

Hang on in there GetDown.

It does get easier the older they get though I know thats not much consolation at the moment. You sound very tired.

Hopefully once this month is out of the way things will get easier for you.

Well done for getting out of the house it can be difficult sometimes when you are so tired and in pain. What time does your DD have a nap? I would seriously try and get some rest yourself when she does.

Sounds like your'e just having one of those days. One more day and it will be the weekend! Big hugs. X

thanks Laurasarah that's really kind

She normally has a nap after lunch. However, I just cannot sleep during the day... very frustrating.

You're right though I should still rest, even if not actually sleeping.

It's comforting to know that it does get easier as they get older. I would really like to have another baby at some point, but just don't know if I'll ever be ready!!

GetDown

Just go and lie on the bed and relax if you ant sleep, if nothing else it would do your back good. Or go and have a nice hot bath that usually relaxes me.

Try not to think about housework it will still be there in the morning and its just clothes at the end of the day, you are far more important!

Dont you just feel like running away sometimes though from all of the adult responsibilities!!!

Yes, lying flat on the bed is a good idea, I will try and do that later.

I struggle to keep on top of the housework at the best of times, let alone with a bad back! Was hanging out the washing earlier and kept dropping the pegs.. had to get DD to pass them to me as I couldn't bend down to get them!

Sometimes I think it would be nice to just run away from it all, but hey, that's never going to happen

Hope you are doing well today..

I'm not doing fantastic I have to admit.

I've got an appointment at docs next Tuesday think I am going downhill again. Have had conselling in the past that really helped but struggle to maintain that positive feeling.

Trouble is I blame DH for it all and its not his fault, its just the whole situation we are in at the mo.

I also genuinally believe that I'm not cut out for motherhood. I try my best but tbh I just find the whole thing tedious, samey etc.

Anyway I'll wait and see what he says next week. I'm not adverse to going on AD's cos I know they help an awful lot so if I have to it then so be it. I just feel at the moment that I'm on that slippery slope again and its not a nice feeling.

Still at least I have my centerparcs to look forward to this weekend and then in 5 weeks we are going on holiday to Spain for 10 days, yippee.

Feel like such a cow today cos was really awful to DH again this morning over something very trivial. God I'm so crap and horrible at dealing with all of this.

Well I slept better last night. Was so tired fell asleep watching Desperate Housewives with DH at 9pm. Then he woke me up at 9.15pm. Went to bed and fell asleep on the bed. Then got into bed at 9.45pm. I must have been more tired than I realised. Woke up just now feeling so tired. GetDown I have the same trouble as you in the morning and I've lost abut 5lbs in the last two weeks. I just want to be normal again. I'm not depressed. I'm down about the sleep and the anxiety but I'm really happy with my lot in life at the moment so I really don't get it. I'm just fed up of this yo-yoing between sleeping well and not sleeping well but I'm told by people like my mum that that is what 'normal' people do anyway.

Glad you had a good long sleep becky

I slept ok too, with the help of a diazepam tho

Back is still agony

I totally understand what you are saying about being generally happy but down about the sleep issue. That's pretty much where I am too..

Morning ladies

You so very tired Becky

Sounds to me like your'e just having trouble relaxing. Dont really know what to suggest cos I have the same problem and dont know how to cure it. Maybe it is normal not really sure.

GetDown Sori your back is still playing up, maybe you could get some rest at weekend if DH is around?

I slept well again. One thing I have done is taken up running and its really good for the body and mind (though not everyone's cup of tea). I felt so much better. I dont go by myself though cos that would be boring. Have got a couple of friends who I go regularly with. It think this helps me to sleep honestly, so maybe exercise is the key!

I'm pretty much happy with my lot but I've suffered with depression and snxiety since I was a kid (due to abusive father I think). I try to just take each day as it comes now and as you can tell I have days where I just cant cope and days when I feel ok.

Am soooo looking forward to my weekend (smile)

Have just bought codeine

I used to really love jogging laurasarah - I agree that it does actually help with mood and anxiety. Bizarrely I actually had more energy too after a run.

But thanks to DD I now have a bit of an incontinence problem (just to add insult to injury!) so jogging is now... errr... difficult . Certainly would not want to jog with someone IYSWIM...

So basically having a baby has made me:

• fatter
• depressed
• an insomniac
• anxious
• tired
• in pain (with bad back)

AND

• incontinent

Oh pants. Why do I want another baby, someone remind me??!

GetDown noooo. I want you now to write the positive things having a baby has done to you please!!!

• given you a lovely daughter
• turned you and DH into a family
• provided you with lots of pleasure on a daily basis
• taught you a lot about coping with anxiety, insomnia, depression etc and think of all the people on MN that you have helped such as myself and Arcadia?
• given you lots of opportunities to be silly for no reason
• allowed you to love a little person and that love is incredibly powerful. I am often overwhelmed by how much I love my DSs.

Anything else?

you're right becky , of course, you're right. All of the negatives are worth it - she told me she loved me the other day I was glowing all day

That's so lovely. It makes all the hard work worth it when they do things like that, or when they come up and give you a hug for no reason except because they want to.

PST for tonight: I will sleep well because it is Friday night and it is the weekend now

That is so cute GetDown, must be lovely. I must say my DD is being majorly cute at the moment and everywhere we go she gets a big fuss made of her. I am a bit obsessed with how gorgeous she is! . I think I'm becoming a very boring 'mummy', having thought at the beginning that I wouldn't take to it at all.
Hope everyone has a good night and a good weekend. DP is off work for a week now and we are going to stay with his parents then my aunt who are all really helpful so I'm quite excited it's going to be a lovely break .

Hiya

I hope everyone slept well last night. I slept well - again conking out watching TV (Notebook orsomething with DH).

I'm feeling a bit sad today because it is the weekend of the Cornbury Festival. I used to live across the road, literally, from Cornbury and used to get in for free. Ahhhh happy days. I would have loved to gone this weekend but too difficult to arrange with so many little people.

Woke up this morning to the sound of cat vomitting on the landing. Lovely.

Fallen out with DH already - I was standing right by DS3 on the changing table and DS3 looked like he was about to roll off and DH lept up from the sofa even though I was stood right there! I was really upset. I just worry that on some level he doesn't trust me to keep them safe or something or am I being over dramatic? Probably.

hi Becky my DP is exactly like that with me! He is a really cautious type which is great but sometimes it goes a bit far. And he comes home from work and I feel like he checks up on me a bit! Like last night DD was just in her nappy and I put her down on the woolen rug for a few minutes and he said ' that may be a bit rough on her skin' and came over and put her onto a muzzy! Bit annoying when I look after her all day! He makes me feel a bit reckless and careless compared to him.
I slept really well too, but my DP couldn't sleep and was awake from about 3am and the same the night before. He doesn't make a fuss about it and don't think it bothers him really but I'm sleeping much better than him now, I hope insomnia isn't infectious!
Cornbury not far from us but I've never managed to make it. We have a nice weekend planned tho with my sister coming with her kids, and a barbie later today.
Hope everyone has a good weekend!

Glad I'm not the only one. It can be really upsetting, can't it? I am reckless compared to my DH who is Mr Sensible Pants but still... We've never had to go to casualty yet (except once with croup but that doesn't count!).

Oooh you should try to go to Cornbury one year - it's a lovely festival. I will try to go next year. I remember one year lying in bed at night and listening to Will Young and Blondie singing live across the road!

It's hard to feel that your DH is not really trusting you, isn't it... But I'm sure they do trust us really. It's just an instinct thing, I think to rush in when you think your child's in danger, regardless of who is there / not there.

I have to confess I do it to DH all the time Not that I don't trust him, but I am just so anxious about DD's safety.

A bad night for me. Awake between 3-4am in absolute agony. Had to get up to top up my paracetamol

Am dosed up on codeine today but worried about taking it because it's addictive - the pharmacist said not for more than 3 days It's taken the edge off but it's still agony

DH is off work today which is something, so he's in charge of DD as far as I'm concerned. He keeps saying annoying things like "let's go to the zoo" or "lets go and see my sister" - he keeps "forgetting" the fact I am in agony . Makes me upset because if this was him he would be rolling around on the bed wailing I just seem to have to get on with it.

Anyway ladies I think I'm going to have a break from the computer this weekend as I don't think it's helping my back.

Catch up with you all next week

Take care
xxx

Hey there I'm off for a week on hols (nowhere exciting, just staying with relatives but should be a good rest for me and DP) so hope everyone gets some good sleep and hope your back improves GetDown. I've been sleeping well but poor DP is not, for some reason. Hopefully he'll relax a bit too whilst we're away. Have a good week x

Morning all.

Well what a fantastic time we had in Penrith. Just the tonic I needed. I feel relaxed, refreshed and ready to take on the world again.

Sorry Your back is no better GetDown, its even harder when your'e not feeling great yourself.

Am back to reality today though. Hey ho another day another dollar!

Boo!

Have a nice holiday Arcadia and hope your DH gets some better sleep

Laura glad you've had a good break.

No news from me - sleeping better, anxiety much better - onwards and upwards!

Hi everyone, hope you are all ok. GetDown how's your poor back? I have a back ache now, not nearly as bad as yours, but I sympathise. I don't like picking up DS3 as I know it is only making it worse. Mine is definitely caused by the crappy bed we have but new bed is not due for another 4 weeks or so.

Hi all, thanks becky it's still quite bad TBH Not agony like it was, but aching all the time and sharp "twinges". Kept me awake last night as I was so uncomfortable. Think I only got about 4 hrs sleep.

Sorry yours is starting to hurt. My advice is to clench your stomach muscles and bend from the knees whenever you lift something, helps to prevent further injury.