Insomnia friends - I will sleep well tonight because I have told my unconscious I will

[BeckyBendyLegs]

And here it is!

Actually DH is coming around to the idea of ADs as he sees that I need a bit of a break from this stress I am putting myself under. But I've been skepitcal about them too for ages and ages (partly because I felt so crap taking fluoxitine). I've learnt a lot more about them though and recently found out my niece has taken and is back on the same sort you and CountryLover take as she says she has had big anxiety and insomnia issues. She also said, interestingly, she's never had any problems coming off them (one of my worries).

GetDown my DH used to take the carseat to work all the time! Used to drive me nutty. Now he commutes on foot and by train so not an issue.

It's hot here too - muggy.

Good morning all! I slept ok last night, considering DH is in Leeds today (I think - I can't keep track of him sometimes these days. There was one time he put on facebook how he was struggling with an oyster card and I replied 'Why, you work in Birmingham?' and he said 'errr, no, I'm in London today'.). I slept fitfully though but that's a good night to me these days.

It feels like it's going to be hot again today.

DS3 is talking to me down the baby monitor. Back off to bed with my book until DS3 has had enough chatting to himself.

Hi becky glad you slept ok again...

My night was like yours in that I seemed to sleep fitfully. I had a really weird dream about my psychiatrist The usual stuff of him telling me how ill I am, and me saying "no, I'm not" and him making me cry and then saying "see, you are ill". Grrrr.

It's so muggy here - it rained earlier and is now all evaporating and making me sticky.

DH said he is thinking of taking thurs or fri off to be with me and DD which is nice. (Don't you just love it when they give you sooo much notice? I suppose it doesn't matter all the stuff I already had planned ah well, will be nice to actually see him for once).

Oh DHs, don't you just love 'em? Mine does that sometimes. He'll just say 'oh yes I'm taking a day off on Thursday' or something. I'll reply 'well we're out all day on Thursday!'.

It is too hot.

I've done an hour's work, got to go wake up poor little DS3 and drag him back to the school for a meeting about green things (I keep signing myself up for these things without really knowing what they are). Something to do with turning the school into an ecological school or something. Who knows?

Hi BeckyBendyLegs and GetDown

I've decided to join your thread.

I slept quite well but still feel really tired today and woke up with the knotty tummy again!

Not really in the mood to talk to anyone but the girls at work are trying to cajole me along.

Oh well another day, another dollar. At least DH is back tomorrow instead of Thursday.

Hugs everyone. X

hi laurasarah welcome to our friendly insomnia thread

We like to share "positive sleep thoughts" (PSTs) here to help us with the sleep anxiety and all the negativity that goes with it! e.g. "I will sleep well tonight because I have told my unconscious I will"

sorry you are still feeling anxious, it's good your DH is back tomorrow.

Feel free to share anything - we all try to support each other on here. Every one of us has "wobbly" days, usually someone else is having a "good" day and can pull us out of the hole a little bit!

Aah thank you GetDown.

Yes I think everything is just getting on top of me at the moment. DH being away every week, working almost full time, sorting the kids, sorting the house. You know the usual. I suppose its only a matter of time before your body and mind say hey hang on a min.

But, I did sleep better last night and I am going on a girly sleepover night on Saturday (Woohoo must be first one in about 2 years) so am looking forward to that.

I bet by Friday I'll be a totally different person!

Hope everyone else is ok by the way but its nice to know I'm not alone. Isn't anxiety and stress just the most horrible thing ever?

laurasarah You sound soooo busy! I hate it when DH goes away. My DH is working really hard at the moment and is often not getting home till 9pm. I am basically having to do everything house-wise and for DD. It?s starting to take it?s toll. My sleep usually gets bad (although so far it?s not been too bad this time) and I have a really sore back from having to lift DD all the time. I am walking around like an old lady today!

By DD?s bedtime I am usually pretty fed up, partly because I haven?t eaten and we are eating way too late into the evening at the moment. I really need to start eating dinner earlier, but it?s so hard as we have a dog too and she needs to be walked in the evening as well. I don?t know how single mums manage, I just fall to pieces having to do everything on my own ? and I only have one child!!

Are you on any medication at all? We have had lots of discussions on here about the pros and cons of medication. I am on anti-depressants but slowly weaning myself off. becky has stayed medication-free but has considered it. You just get so desperate when you don?t sleep, don?t you, you will almost do anything.

Anyway hope things are picking up a bit for you now?

GetDown

Mmm....I've been in this position since January last year. My DH got a job back in the North so we could back and we have just sold the house last week which I'm very relieved about.

So basically we could be gone by end of August if we find somewhere as we have sold to a cash buyer!

But yes it is very difficult. In the last 10 years I've lost mum, dad, mother-in-law and Grandma, had two lovely children and moved 200 miles!!!!! Not the best receipe for success granted.

I have been on Citalopram just after my mum died and I was on them for about 2 years. Found it really difficult to stop taking them but I did.

Since then I've had counselling (which helped me see why I am the way I am) but still struggling to find coping mechanisms.

Anyway I was getting particularly bad around that time of the month so started taking St John's Wort and Vit B6 which have been fantastic. However, with everything that I have to cope with and then a potental house move on top its just tipped me over the edge, hence the not sleeping, knotty tummy etc.

Am trying today to think positive and I know that this is not forever.

Thanks for your support GetDown and BeckyBendyLegs its really appreciated. X

Laura I take vit B6 too! And omega fish oil tablets to help with PMT and energy. They do help, don't you find? (The vit b6.)

I know that knotty tummy feeling oh so well as I have it most mornings. It wears off during the morning though.

I have total admiration for you coping without your DH around this week. I really struggle when DH goes away over night. It doesn't happen often. Before DS3 was born he did a course for four days and nights and I was pregnant at the time (early days too) and it was hell because I felt so sick as well as having two children to worry about. Come to think of it my sleep was awful those few days. I'd forgotten that.

I've been dithering about taking any medication since this 'perhaps PND' of mine started in January. At this rate I'll still be dithering when I'm 50!

Well I'm back from my ecological school meeting. DS3 was pretty good - he got a bit fed up at the end though!

hi all and welcome laura! I'm another regular on this thread, laura, had terrible insomnia after the birth of dd in nov last year, my first child, and i think ptsd from the birth. have been steadily improving all year but still bit anxious re sleep and have some bad nights. becky and getdown have been v helpful. i don't always get to post as dd very clingy and doesn't sleep much in day - am now typing one handed as i feed her! have avoided ads but had to take temazepan at the start. take lots of supplements inc sjw and b vits.
have been sleeping ok despite heat but awake between 4 & 5 last few nights, bit annoying, but getting enough i suppose!

Becky

Sounds like an interesting school meeting!

I found the St John's Wort really helpful, less so with the B6.

It is very difficult not having Dh around during the week every week but you know what its actually made me stronger as a person and I have just had to cope!

I wouldnt diss medication altogether but there can be some bad side effects with some of them. Citalopram is renowned for being hard to come off, or so I've heard.

Hi Arcadia

Nice to meet you too, thank you. Isnt it nice knowing you have people who are in the same boat who are acutally willing to be open about things. Its so not like that where I live, very pretentious tbh.

I will sleep well tonight because I have lots of positive thoughts and hugs from my mumsnetters! mwah to you all.

Hi Girls

Well I feel like shit.

Why is it that when your'e feeling a bit down and miserable no-one knows what to say.

Have just been to school to pick up DD and because I'm not my normal chatty self (like I'm supposed to be like that all the time!) people dont know what to say so dont say anything at all.

At the moment all I'm getting is you should be happy you've sold the house and your'e moving. Aarrrgggh What they fail to realise is that I've been in this situation for the past 17 months and literally cant take anymore.

So then hubbie rings and says the same thing I dont know what to say anymore you should be happy wtf. At this precise moment in time nothing has changed. I'm still here on my own with no support, absolutely knackered body and mind until we find a house suitable!!!!!!

No-one seems to understand.

So I've just had a right go at him and told him to leave me alone cos I just dont want to talk to anyone at the mo.

Cant bring myself to even be civil.
God help me get thru this difficult time

Hi Laura sorry you're feeling crappy. It makes it worse, doesn't it, when you get ignored because people don't know what to say to you.

I'm sitting here with two little boys clinging to me!

You will get through this difficult time. Your DH is back is back tomorrow so hold on to that thought. Does he have to work away a lot? Will he still do so when you move? Is it that you've sold your house and you need to find a house? We were in that position before we moved and I was in panic mode but we did manage to find a house we both liked very quickly. It can happen.

PST for me today: I will sleep tonight because I've done 4 hours work today so am soooo tired and if I can sleep the night before DH goes to Leeds I can sleep much better tonight.

Hi Becky

I've calmed down now and am starting to feel much better thanks.

I've got girls 9 and 6 and they keep me very busy!

I have been foul to Dh tonight and am feeling very guilty, poor soul. Hes such a sweetheart as well. But you cant help it sometimes can you.

Yes hopefully when we sell the house we will all be back together so cant wait for that. My best friend called me as well trying to boost me up a bit and told me not to take it out on Dh as its not his fault.

Think I am in desparate need of holiday but at least I've got my girlie night away on Sat.

PST for me today. I am soooo tired and will definitely sleep tonight knowing that DH is back tomorrow. X

Are you going somewhere nice on Sat? It is good to get away now and then I think, just to be yourself for a change and not to have to worry about everyone else.

I have three boys 5, 4, and 7 months. They certainly keep me busy.

I'm burning mine and DH's tea at the moment. Better go.

Oh dear

Dont want you burning tea too.

I am off to Oasis at Penrith with my favourite bunch of girls in the whole world. Booked into Spa for 3 hours Sat afternoon, bliss, cant wait.

Gosh you must be busy with them not much of an age gap between the eldest two.

Yes I am really looking forward to just chilling, sleeping, and drinking (just a little bit)!

Must go and put my 9 year old to bed and have a shower myself ready for another day at the office tomorrow.

I feel like such a miserable cow at the moment, dont know whats wrong with me.

Just hope I sleep tonight!

Poor you laurasarah we all have days like that where we lose it with our DH. I am really fed up with mine at the moment as he's been working such long hours. He said he would take thurs or fri off to be with me and DD but has just told me he can't - too busy

I have really hurt my back, it's getting worse and worse Am finding it hard to even walk now. I can't rest it as I have to keep lifting DD.

becky I emailed the peri-natal psychiatrist last week to see if she could give me some advice before we start TTC-ing! She actually replied today, saying she would be more than happy to meet with us to talk about stuff. So that was really positive. I really like her, she is sooo much nicer than my regular psychiatrist. In her email she actually said taht it was the right thing to do, to be coming off my medication. The regular psychiatrist would never say that!

Am off to bed now. goodnite all and to all a goodnite!

Hugs and massive respect Ladies. mwah. XXX

GetDown that's great news about the peri-natal psychiatrist and that's just what you need - someone positive and hopeful for you to encourage you

Sorry about your back. That's hard. My bike went last summer when I was pregnant with DS3 so I have big sympathy for you. The only cure is to rest it and resist picking up DD as much as you possibly can even though it sounds like you are struggling to do that. Does she understand that your back is poorly? Can you try to encourage her to do things without needing to be picked up?

Laura I'm in a mood with my DH today because he was cross with me for shutting the cat in DS3's bedroom all night! Well I can't be perfect!!!! The cat is ok, she survivied without too much trauma.

So how did we all sleep then? x

Hi GetDown

Not too bad. Took me a while to get off prob 12 - 12.30 and felt very tired this morning but my mood has lifted and I feel much much better today as if I can cope again!

How bout you and you Becky?

How is you back today GetDown?

I slept really well and had weird dreams. I was starting my final year at University and had forgotten to arrange accommodation so ended up sleeping in a great big hall in a bunk bed with lots of other stupid people like me. I was just settling to sleep when these men on stilts walked past (?) and then I needed the loo. Then I woke up (needing the loo).

I was awake from 4 -5 am again, slept fine either side of that hour though, and didn't really feel anxious. Has happened the last few nights. Don't know if I am now 'expecting' to be awake at those times?

Oh laurasarah I forgot to ask, how did citalopram effect you with regards to sleep? Just interested to know. I was given it but never took it because insomnia was listed as a side effect, though I have seen people on mumsnet say it is excellent for anxiety and has helped them sleep. How was it for you?