do you know what just fuck it all

[memoo]

Can't even give a shit anymore, why am i looking towards a bunch of women who don't even know me to try and sort out the mess in my head, and lets face it at the end of the day how can anyone really give a shit about a faceless name on the computer

really i am on my own with this, i'm so fucked off with trying to make it better when its clear it never is going to be. really really had enough.

and now i'll just piss off everybody on here with my shit post, just like i piss of everyone cos i am such a fucking disaster.

can't find my way out of this hole, need to make it all stop

[memoo]

Just nipping on quickly, am still in the middle of the meltdown hours here! Hate this time and DH not home til 8 tonight.

But on a positive note, I have fed all three DC, helped DS with home work, and bathed DD2. just going to give her a bottle now and settle her down to sleep. It gets a lot easier once the baby is in bed!

MMM, you have done fab today!! will have a look at your thread, good idea by theway.

Think you're right about the shopping kizzie, usually I do it online and get it delivered but haven't managed to organise myself to do it. Have had a bowl of cornflakes and a few carrots sticks while DC were eating

toccata, chicken drum sticks sound lovely. School run wasn't too bad. Only bumped into people I had to nod a quick hello to, nobody who wanted to actually talk which was good.

[ToccataAndFudge]

good stuff memoo - you're doing great.

DS's are sat down eating their dinne r(although we've just had complete meltdown where I shouted at the 2 older ones).

I get to "escape" for a bit soon, got our Easter Presentation at church which I'm playing for. Often my church playing is the only thing (apart from school runs) that I leave the house for during the week. So it's a good thing as it gets me out, and I do enjoy my playing (even though I've been so totally unmotivated/low that I feel like I'm going into tonight totally unprepared as we've not had any rehearsals >>>>

[TrinityIsFuckingTrying]

well done memoo

fight!

you can do it

[memoo]

God what a day eh! DC are finally all asleep, I have half a bottle of wine in the fridge with my name on it!

Hope you have a good evening Toccate, its really good that you have something to get you out. Think I should find something to do once I'm feeling a bit more up to it. You know I think we are friends on FB, recognised your gorgeous boys on you profile. My initials are JT and my profile pic is of my gurning DD!

I am going to fight this Trinity, God knows I owe it to my kids, and to myself too! I can beat this!

[TrinityIsFuckingTrying]

yes you do owe it to yourself

you really do

[ToccataAndFudge]

ahhh yes - have found you

should have consulted my FB/MN friends list and I've probably have got it down there

[ToccataAndFudge]

have to say it wasn't the best evening, won't regurgitate it all on your thread - have stuck it on my own thread here in MH

[ByThePowerOfGreyskull]

Hi Memoo
how are you doing this morning?

I haven;t achieved anything yet this morning except from making coffee and toast

how about you?

[elliemental]

just bobbing in to say it is a well known motivational tool to have a small, manageable, ACHIEVEABLE list and to reflect on these achievements (however 'small' you may think they are!) at the end of the day, knowing that you can build on those in future days.
Think your listing thread could be called ''down but not out''

Keep Buggering On, chaps!
Or if you prefer, Keep Calm and Carry On.

(one of my favourite mantras is If It Is To Be, It Is Up To Me. Sometimes when I am struggling it helps me to trudge along with those words in my head.)

[memoo]

Hi all, still a bit shaky this morning. Haven't quite got myself together enough to get dressed yet,

Achievments so far, made breakfast for DC and got eldest two off to school, in clean uniforms! Made pack lunches for DC. Put one load of washing on and its now in the dryer. Thats pretty much it really but better than yesterday!

Managed to do an online shop lastnight so that is coming later on.

I am now going to go upstair with DD and get dressed!

[ToccataAndFudge]

woo - well done memoo

MathsMadMummy set up a thread here for us all to list our achievements (big or small) if you want to come and join us.

I love that photo of your DD on your FB btw so cute

[mackerel]

OK, think you should be pretty proud of yourself. Done more than I have. My washing's still in the drier and the DC's uniforms...

[memoo]

Just found it thanks toccata, I love that pic of DD too Toccata, She is always gurning and pulling funny faces! makes my day

Funny how writing down what we've achieved actually makes you feel like you're doing ok! when i read back what i have written i think i'm not doing too bad!

[MathsMadMummy]

I'm jealous, I don't have you guys on fb!

[arolf]

hi memoo, just popping back in to say hi - i did come back to the thread yesterday as promised, but noticed that far wiser folk than me were on, plus DS attacked my keyboard and I was locked out of my computer until about 10 minutes ago .
glad things are improving - looks to me like you should be very proud of yourself - you've achieved more than me today and I only have 1 child to deal with...

[TrinityIsFuckingTrying]

well done memoo

keep fighting

[elliemental]

I'll just keep buggering off then, shall I?

[MathsMadMummy]

noooo elliemental stay!

love the mantra

[SinninHinny]

memoo I'm just about to go out on the school run, I just wanted to say you're doing really well, keep those achievements going

[memoo]

don't you dare go anywhere ellie! you are motivational, you all are! you have no idea how much this is helping me. I read each and every post but have to keep bobbing on and off because of DD. I don't know how i'd be getting through these past few days without you all. its like a life line

[MathsMadMummy]

I agree... MN is great. Knowing that I'm not the only one who finds it hard to get up/make lunch/go out etc is really motivating, we can all encourage each other

[wubblybubbly]

Just wanted to say memoo you're doing great - your list of achievements today is inspirational - you're putting me to shame

Brilliant to hear you sounding so much brighter today.

[memoo]

I'm only doing better today because of you guys!!

I have had a few days in the past month where I have been so bad that I've had to phone DH to come home from work. Yesterday would have been one of those days too, but talking to you all got me through!

I feel a little brighter when I talk to you all, I guess its knowing that I'm not alone and you all make me feel like this is a battle I can win.

[TrinityIsFuckingTrying]

you ok memoo?

hows finding your fight going?