Support thread for those with PND

[not4anotherday]

Hi there,

I thought a support thread might help me and others to get through this.

I think I have got PND again, I was diagnosed when my baby was about 5 months and took ads for a few months (I was ill and could'nt stomach them and thought I was ok without them).

Anyway it has dawned on me that it may well be back. I think a friendship (that was very special to me) ending may well have triggered it before christmas.

So, here I am just about to meet a friend (who is lovley) but I don't really feel like it and think this friendship will probably end at some point like most of them. I am worried that I will say or do something wrong. I know I need to get a grip.

Then there is the crying, unable to get off to sleep, late evening is when I feel worst.... snappy with the kids.....feel like I need to go on holiday and get away from it all (no my family).....will be but not for 5/6 weeks.

I keep worrying that DH is going to leave me - he might if I keep being so pathetic.

So, on that cheery note anyone else?

SBA big hug (can't say much typing one fingered DS3 very grumpy at mo.). Keep focussing on your lovely, adorable DS. He makes the positives.

DS2's party today - 10 children coming.

SBA ((((((hugs)))))) to you! Shocked that the therapist didn't turn up! Do they have an "out of hours" type person you can talk to if you need to? Have you told your DP exactly where you're at emotionally right now? I know it can be so difficult - I still struggle telling DH as I hate feeling like I can't cope - but it would be good for him to know. I agree that your DS's smiles are big positives!! Please feel free to tell us how you're feeling here - we're here for you! But make sure that you are letting your therapist and DP know as well, so you can get any help you might need! I have to remind myself regularly that this is NOT something that we can go through alone - it's to our benefit to talk about it and not hold it in!

BBL 10 children at the party?? eekss! Good luck!!!

Hi Everyone,

BBL Hope the party went well.

SBA ((((hugs)))

Triggles Glads you found a pre-school you like for DS

I am feeling really good and well at the moment. I was planning to do some cleaing today

Hi everyone, party went well. I am sooo knackered now. DS2 had a great time (as did DS1). DS3 was taken to town by the PILs. We played lots of old-fashioned games such as that one where you have to eat chocolate with a knife and fork while wearing hat, gloves, etc, pass the parcel, etc. I am sooo tired now though. Can't wait to get the DSs into bed and relax before crawling into bed myself.

Hope you are all having a good weekend. I feel so glad we made the effort for DS2. I wasn't in the mood too a couple of weeks ago but I thought I'd do it for him. It was so worth it.

BBL I'm glad it went well.

Ahhh DS1 has spots - chicken pox? I have no idea. He's fine in himself but he has zit-like spots on his back and front. We've managed to miss the chicken pox every time it has come around so far. Will he feel unwell? How long will he have to stay off school for? He's a little hyperchondriac (just like his mother) so now he's panicking! Poor little thing. He was fine until I noticed the spots.

Chicken pox are like zits, I think, red with the little white pustule in the middle. If it is chicken pox, he will need to stay away from others until they are crusted over, if I remember correctly. (I know, that sounds a bit "ewww" doesn't it?) Then he is not contagious. He may run a slight fever, and be somewhat cranky. Calamine lotion or oatmeal baths and DON'T let him scratch as it can leave scars - socks (or potholders ) on his hands if necessary!!! hahahaha

I don't remember how old your DS1 is, but no aspirin-containing products for the fever due to risk of Reyes syndrome. I think paracetamol is what is recommended if feverish. And if I remember (it's been awhile but DD was kind enough to get it twice, which is not normal), light layers of clothing, to keep comfortable temperature, as being too warm seemed to make her itch more.

Hope he's feeling better soon.

And, of course, always go by GP and NHS advice, not us strangers on a board. LOL Don't want anyone thinking we're offering medical advice, as I most definitely am not! Just mentioning what I remember worked for us when our older ones were little.

DS1 is six (the thought of me trying to make him wear socks on his hands is really funny!). I always ask my mum or sister for medical advice: I come from a family of nurses and BIL is a doctor as well! DS1 seems absolutely fine in himself. He doesn't have that many spots (yet) but they are starting to itch him. He's going to have to come with me to drop DS2 off at nursery while he's off school. There really is nothing I can do about that. I can wrap him in clingfilm? Errr, not sure what else to do.

Hi BBL Its hard when one of your DCs are ill and you still need to do the school/nursery run, go to the supermarket etc. I know people have differing opinions on this but I am with you - what ca you do? Hope your DS is ok.

I cannot believe it, I have got earache and a sore throat again I've got to go to docs so will mention it then, think need to try and eat healthier and take some multi vits. GRRR.

DH has taken DD1 to her riding lesson, when they get back am going to go back to bed for a bit.

not4 sore throat and cough are going through out house again as well. Drives me crazy that we keep getting it. Hope you're feeling better soon.

BBL glad your DS1 is feeling okay, in spite of the itching. LOL at the clingfilm - I think that's frowned on, you know! I'm sure you'll have a few people that will grouch about him being along on the school run, but I wouldn't worry about it - most people won't notice, they're too busy running along trying to get things done themselves.

DH & I have actually gotten the dining room fairly cleared out today, and it is now ready for use again! Yay! So on his next long weekend (in 2wks time) we will be laying the carpet in the living room. Hoooorah! Another little bit of progress on the house. Every little teeny bit we get done lifts my spirits just a little more. And DS starts preschool either tomorrow or Tuesday (depending on whether or not the car's MOT gets done in time tomorrow!). And he'll be having loads of fun and I'll get a bit more freedom. So again, positives coming my way this week!

I was even organised enough to buy Mother's Day cards ahead of time, so no last minute rush! I'm feeling ever so slightly normal today, I think!

Hi just wanted to stop by here and say hello on this thread as pnd is something i've battled since my dd was 3 months old (she's now 18 months). This is my first post on MN as well, so being brave stepping in here first!
Anyway i'll probably post more later on but i guess thats my intro here

Well if people grouch at me I will be cross back at them as I can't exactly leave him at home alone. He'll just have to keep his distance!

Triggles glad you made some progress today - it does make things look a bit brighter when things get achieved. When DS3 was born I got very down when the house fell apart around us (not literally!). I need to have some order around me in order to feel happy.

Mother's Day? Oh crumbs. I'd better not forget that one!

Hello rainbowdrop welcome!

rainbowdrop welcome to the thread and to MN!

Triggles It feel so good when you are making progress on your house!

BBL Good for you.

Welcome rainbowdrop - well done on your first post - come back and tell us more about yourself.

Well I still have earache and a sore throat on one side, think a trip to the docs is needed, this is just taking the p*ss now!
I was supposed to have a friend round for lunch but have cancelled - really don't feel up to it (or the tidying/cleaning that I need to do first!). Grrrr!!!!!

I did get a few looks today in the playground and even a good friend of mine dragged her pushchair away from me! I don't get it. Her son is 18 months, now would be a great time to get the pox!!! Ah well. Anyway, he was at DS2's party so chances are he's got it already.

We're back home now and the spotty boy is doing a jigsaw.

I didn't sleep well last night: anxiety about it being Sunday night (Sundaynightitus as I call it) and worrying about DS3's rubbish sleep and DS1's chicken pox. I am really worried about DS3 - he was awake 1.30am-3am last night moaning. Then again 5.20am. I'm just not used to a bad sleeper. DS1 and DS2 were / are great sleepers.

BBL I'm glad you survived!

Why do you get anxious on a sunday night?
I can't give you any advice on baby's sleeping as mine have all been pretty rubbish! DD3 is one in a few weeks and has been known to wake up to 5 times a night still! Does that make you feel better? LOL

DH going back to work after a nice weekend... that gives me Sundaynightitius.

I've had s friend email me this morning saying 'oooh you can get shingles from chicken pox' implying we should keep away from everyone! NO YOU CAN'T! If you've had chicken pox already you can develop shingles at some point later when your immune system is low. You do not catch it from someone else's chicken pox. Ahhhhh! I think we'll just go hide in a hole now.

DS3 is cranky and there is only one song that calms him down. It's so funny as it works every time: Yellow Submarine. I'm getting a bit sick of this song now though. He also likes it when I play bejewelled on facebook with him on my knee!

Hi xan I join this thread too? Been watching with interest for some time! I have 2 boys, 4 and 2 and I think I've had PND pretty much since I had DS1. If it ever went away it certainly came back with a vengeance after the birth of DS2. DS1 at school now but I am not working at the moment (made redundant) and being at home with a 2 year old all day is starting to drive me doolally! I struggle with my self esteem and confidence and I am very self conscious. I always feel as though people are judging me, and I find it hard to make friends. I have found motherhood to be very isolating at times, as much as I love my boys. We don't have any family close by so its the 4 of us more often than not and DH is often very busy with work. Most weekends and holidays we don't see anybody else!

I too have to force myself to do things some days just so I can feel I have accomplished something and at the end of every day I try and take 3 positive things from it, but its easier said than done sometimes. Some days I just want to curl up on the sofa in front of the tv all day, but I know I can't.

This thread has really helped me to realise that the way I feel is very common and that I am not alone.

It is incredibly common. People just don't talk about it. When I told my friends about my possibly having PND two others said 'I had that too!' and I had had no idea. One friend had had panic attacks about her daughter's health. The other said she'd sat in her garden with a knife and phoned an ambulance and said 'please help me before I do soemthing to myself'. I really had had no clue. Then recently another friend who had a baby same time as I had DS3 told me she regularly got panic attacks. I'd assumed she was a super mum as she always seemed so in control and happy.

Welcome

I've been feeling a bit anxious today and I feel better because the best therapy for me is tickling and cuddling the two older DSs. Lovely. I love those boys so much

Sorry haven't posted for a few days hope everyone is doing ok.

BBL- hope the pox isn't too bad! I would like mine to have it now to get it done!

I've been doing ok. I think the ADs have kicked in so I am very tired (but that's to be expected really) but feel like I am coping. DHis back at work now so have the 4DCs on my own in the day but it is ok o the whole (unless they all want something at the same time!). I ameven trying to motivatee myself to get "exta" things done that have been ona to do list for months but one thing at a time I think. I will concentrate on day to day survival first!

Having serious coping problems today. Found out my father (who is living in the states with my mother) is seriously ill and going to be put in a nursing home at the end of the week. They think he may have leukemia, plus he is suffering mental problems and neurological problems from a severe head injury last year when he slipped and fell on some ice. There is no way financially that we can go visit (and even if we could, he is a shell of who he once was, and I'm not even sure he would recognise me), and we aren't even in a position that we could go for his funeral when/if he passes away. Immediate family members don't think he'll make it to the end of the year, and from the medical info I'm getting from siblings and mother, I'd have to agree. I'm having real problems dealing with this, knowing I'll never see him alive again. This is just not something I'm equipped to handle right now....

Triggles I'm so sorry I don't know what I could possibly say to be of any help right now, but am thinking of you.

Triggles bug hug to you. I'm so sorry too. I don't know wht to say either and I'm thinking of you too. I can't imagine how you must be feeling: all mixed up.

I am feeling so sleep deprived I can't think straight. DS3 was awake 11.30-4am last night. DH looked after him so he's had about 2 hours sleep. I feel so worried about DH and DS3 I feel sick with anxiety all the time. I feel like I am falling apart and struggling to cope with all three DSs feeling like this. DS1 so upset about his chicken pox too. He's not happy, he has one in his mouth so doesn't want to eat. Triggles this is nothing compared to what you are going through though