You can do it!! (Jane Fonda style motivation thread!!)

[QueenFlounce]

Following on from the massive "Going to have a good week" thread...

Sax - Calling your boy a "Stupid child" is NOT an example of a complete failure as a parent! I'm sure many many Mums here will admit to doing that even without a hint of depression! THEY ARE STRESSFUL! Especially with everything else you have to put up with.

I can't comment on the drinking coz I know I drink FAR too much..... I hide behind the "But I'm Scottish!" excuse alllllll the time.

HOWEVER, what I will say is that if drinking makes you feel even more low then its something you need to reconsider as a way to unwind and de-stress..... coz it's not working if you just feel shittier.

Come on, its Friday night... we're all drinking... lets have a bit of escapism from reality for a while and step back.

This is bad moment..... it doesn't mean tomorrow will be awful... or that your children will never forgive you for saying that. It just means that by the end of today you felt really stressed.

As for the work thing. Bringing up 3 young children, one with a condition that makes him even more hard work is you contributing to your family! Debts can be paid off when you feel stronger..... as long as they are not spiralling out of control then a couple of months is not going to make that much difference, is it?

Remember.... UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I aaaaaaaamm caaaaaaaaaaaaaalm.

Hi Sax - yes I am down because 1) perhaps I have PND and 2) Even though DH has been better last few days I hate to get too excitd in case the next time we fall out it's a lot worse.

I am off to see my mum this weekend, or rather we all are, her burpday on monday, mine this friday and my step dads on Saturday, so looking forward to that...to that end, not booking GP apt until next week (yes I'm putting it off), but when you not actually in the midst of a crying fit you don't feel like there's anything wrong with you and I feel like a fraud explaining it to the doc when I'm not feeling down at the time.

Anyway, DH was up last night to see to DT1, 1st time during the week ever I think! So shocked I couldn't fall back to sleep!

Do you ever feel like you over reacted to a situation, in the cold light of day a few days after the event you think, that wasn't so bad, what am I on about? thats me now, but I know at the time I thought the marriage was over and I was looking at a messy divorce and battles over custody and rowing about who had the DTs on what weekend etc etc. I won't sweep it under the carpet this time, I will be watching DH to make sure this effort he is making is long term and not just to get me back on side again so he can sh1t all over me at a later date.

You may all be shouting at your computers, leave him anyway, he's obviously an arse....but he's not, he does love me, but when confronted about feelings and emotions he locks down and gets defensive and insults me because he doesn;t know what else to do...his family were not emotional people, not very tactile, if he was ill he would be left alone and not pampered as this made him go back to school quicker if he thought he wasn;t getting special treatment at home, this has grown with him to adult hood, if he's ill now I can't help him, has to be left to feel sorry for himself alone and will eventually ask for help when he's at deaths door.

He says I love you occasionally and in a way this makes it a bit more special when he does as he's not saying it all the time....but most of the time he shows me by doing things. He used to buy me things to show me, but since the boys came along we have no money and he doesn't know how to show me in other ways.

Anyway enough of the excuse making I am married to an arse I fully admit that, but he's my arse...once I've got myself to docs and have discussed my situation perhaps I can see a clearer path to the future, with or without him who knows....watch this space.

Sax, you must be a busy bunny, hope this means you are out and about enjoying the sun.....

So sorry Meeeley, I will be on later and will do some reading of replies etc. Hope you OK, will get back to this asap!

Hi Folks, I've not been posting for a while but I have been keeping up with the threads, thought I'd say a quick hello so you don't think I've fallen off the planet!
Meeely2 - I'm so glad to hear you've decided to go to the GP, you WILL feel so much better once you've spoken to someone about how you have been feeling......it was scary at first when my fears were realised that I did have PND but also a relief that finally I was getting help and that it's something I can recover (and I'm recovering) from. Good luck with the appointment - when is it? Let us know how you get on BTW much of my frustration and bad mood concentrated on my dp rather than dd, in fact that was one of the reasons why I knew I had to do something as it was affecting our relationship and I didn't want that.
Sax - it was lovely to hear from you again, I will be in touch soon. Hope you are well and have a great weekend.....I might be back later so speak to you soon.
Toothache - you'll always be QueenFlounce to me Congratulations on the job, well done!!

Hi Meeeley and Bn (and Queenflounce if she still has a pc!),

I'm sorry i've been a bit quiet too, Meeeley you really sound like you are having a hard time hun. I hope this weekend goes ok for you with all the birthdays etc and that you are coping alright knowing you are going to go and ask for help next week. I think its a brave but right decision, I think you need some more support than you are gettting. We need to hear how you go - when is the appointment? you should scribble some notes before you go becasue like you say when you are feeling alright its often difficult to remember just how strong those feelings were when you were at your lowest.

BN good to hear from you although you didn't actually say how you were. Hows things your end? Are you adjusting? Is dp being supportive to you?

Take care ladies and I hope everyones weekend is going well. I am living in fear that MIL is going to turn up which she is threatening even though dh won't be here so silly cow can bog off imo but she is still saying she'll be coming but won't be pinned to a time or a day! Great!

Fingers crossed I'll be out eh!

Hi folks. How are we all?!

BN - Good to hear from you again!

Meeely - Glad to hear that you are going to take the bull by the horns so to speak! I've got a joke for you:

What does a woman do with her arsehole before a night out?

Drops him off at the bowling club.

Sax - The advice you give is FAB, but it's defintely easier to give than to take isn't it? You really should take your words of wisdom and see that YOU need to do all that to. Nagging over.... honest.

Hows things with your DH?

Dh has been working most days and often overnight so we've been getting on fine!

Sax - SO happy to hear that you told DH!!!

I really need to take some of my own advice too.... not having a good time of it recently. Bad arguments with DH and lots of crying.

Ho hum... I'll get through it. I've done it before eh?!

Hey flouncer,

Im sorry to hear you've not had a good time recently, the arguments at home are just the worst aren't they?

I hate to see you upset, i guess the work pressures haven't helped have they.

Yes, you should look at your own advice, you are strong, positive and funny and everyone has bad days but I hope they aren't becoming too frequent for you.

Take good care of yourself and please keep up updated as to how you are - you can always have a rant, moan, cry, winge, laugh on here - we are all there for you too remember!!!

Thanks for being proud of me about dh, he really is so stressed I don't expect any more from him - however - its a weight off and i don't feel so guilty anymore!

BABYNOVICE - not heard from you for a while, i am worried about you and hope all is alright your end. Please let me know as soon as you can! Thinking of you and hoping you are feeling a bit better!

Sax - Its the same old story... stress stress stress.

Hi Sax, things are OK, not brilliant, not awful, but OK I have been feeling a bit anti-social I have to admit and haven't felt like chatting much but rest assured if I was feeling frantic I would be on here like a shot!! I definitely think the ADs are working to some extent as I'm pretty much on an even keel but last week I had a very bad day after quite a few good ones and that knocked me for six a bit.....you just don't know what kind of mood you're going to be in from day to day, but I suppose I should be glad I'm not sitting in floods of tears all the time now.
I must have missed the momentous news that you told DH - I think that is fantastic, and I'm sure it couldn't have been easy at all. Please let me know what happened (if you want) and if he's being more supportive to you. Do you feel relieved?
Toothache, I hope this is a just temporary blip for you, changing jobs is stressful and it's all happened so quickly....like Sax says you can offload to us too. How's the PC at home? Was going to mail you but didn't know if you would get it?
Meeely - have you made that appt with the GP? How are you doing?
Anyway, I hope to be around a bit more again, there's only so much isolation and navel-gazing a girl can take.....speak to you soon.

Good to hear from you babynovice - have you downloaded msn yet?
i posted about telling dh on the 'im having a wobble' cos those guys were the ones hassling me LOL so either read that or get msn and we can chat better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Im sorry you had a bad day, i find when i am the day is just the worst!! and I know all about the anti social thing, you don't have to explain.
Take care bn and hope you get msn soon.
Sax

I have msn, wots everyones handles?

I have a docs apt for next tues at 9.50am...I will log on after and let everyone know how it went. I told DH I was booking it as I thought I may be suffering with PND, he said why, so we had a chat about how I didn't think I was coping very well with the boys, and guess what he said....I was expecting the 'well pull yourself together woman' or 'you don't do things properly, thats why you don't cope....' but no, I got "you seem to do a good job to me".....WOW! a compliment, I nearly fell out of bed (we do all our talking in bed, don't know about you lot, always seems like the right time!).

We had a good weekend at my mums, DH got on really well with my sisters DP so they bonded while me and my sis did baby things. Also meant me and DH got to go out while Grandma babysat, so all in all it was good. Heat upset the boys a bit, but they settled by midweekend.

We are making headway, even though DH did claim to have forgotten the argument we had last week, however he is now doing everything I said he wasn't doing when we argued, so he must remember, he just doesn't want to bring it up again.

Anyway still a few cracks to fill and fix then paint over, but hopefully apt next week will be the start of the road to recovery.

How was everyones w/e?

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Hi Meeeley, well done you for making that appointment. I'm so pleased you've managed to have a good open discussion with dh (although I know exactly what you mean about forgetting the argument - how do men do that!!!!) and that he was fairly understanding about things.

I'm glad you had a good weekend too and i hope this week goes ok and you know what - you are already on the road to recovery because you have identified you think their is a problem and you are asking for help. Well done.

I must admit to having had a few better days however today is not one of them, so sorry once again that i've been quiet. I am pleased to have the weight off of telling dh although as expected he doesn't really understand and therefore nothing has changed as yet! I'm not expecting miracles just a bit of slack i suppose.

Anyway folks good luck meeeley with the appointment for next week and keep us updated as how you get on.

(Meeeley - feel free to add me to msn if you wish - its [email protected])

Sax

Hi Sax

Sorry you're not having such a good day - I got a parking ticket at lunch so not in best mood and DH wasn't impressed as we have absolutely no money. He not gone loopy though so thats good.

I have added you to my msn (mine is [email protected]), will look forward to seeing you online.

Toothache - hows things?

Babynovice please let me know you are ok too!

I'm having a good day today for a change so feel 'normal' again. Will check on everyone later!
Good to speak to you earlier Meeeley and wishing you lots of luck for your appointment. Take care everyone.

Not good Sax.

Have you seen my thread?

oh toothache, which thread, can we offer help/support?

Toothache - Just responded mate - so so sorry to hear you are so down! Please let me know if there is anything more I can do. we are here for you too!

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Hi Meeely2 - How are you today?

hey there toothy, dreading my docs apt tbh