You can do it!! (Jane Fonda style motivation thread!!)

[QueenFlounce]

Following on from the massive "Going to have a good week" thread...

Sax - Calling your boy a "Stupid child" is NOT an example of a complete failure as a parent! I'm sure many many Mums here will admit to doing that even without a hint of depression! THEY ARE STRESSFUL! Especially with everything else you have to put up with.

I can't comment on the drinking coz I know I drink FAR too much..... I hide behind the "But I'm Scottish!" excuse alllllll the time.

HOWEVER, what I will say is that if drinking makes you feel even more low then its something you need to reconsider as a way to unwind and de-stress..... coz it's not working if you just feel shittier.

Come on, its Friday night... we're all drinking... lets have a bit of escapism from reality for a while and step back.

This is bad moment..... it doesn't mean tomorrow will be awful... or that your children will never forgive you for saying that. It just means that by the end of today you felt really stressed.

As for the work thing. Bringing up 3 young children, one with a condition that makes him even more hard work is you contributing to your family! Debts can be paid off when you feel stronger..... as long as they are not spiralling out of control then a couple of months is not going to make that much difference, is it?

Remember.... UMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM I aaaaaaaamm caaaaaaaaaaaaaalm.

And I don't believe Queenflounce is actually working either feel very ignored over here!!!

Not bad Sax. Went to Ikea!

Just had bad news at work though..... not a good day.

See thread in "Employment Issues". It never rains...and all that!

I've read it QF, sorry to hear about this, how awful for you, loads of stress! I hope you will still be able to do your midwifery!?

END OF BOTH OF OUR TETHERS!!! Boys are driving us insane! turning to the bottle again! whooops!

We're losing it!

Hi Folks, how are we doing?
Sorry to hear about your job QF, I hope the agency comes up with something for you.....are you looking to get out of the construction field now or will you hang tight until getting on to your midwifery course?
Sax, are you OK tonight? you sounded a little frazzled earlier....it was lovely to hear from you at the weekend, I will mail you soon, the days seem to be passing me by at the moment!
I'm not sure if the ADs are beginning to work yet - I'm still waiting to feel like I've had a good day. I have been able to tell a few friends that I have pnd but I'm finding the different reactions quite hard to take....I suppose it now seems like old news to me but it's obviously coming as a bit of a surprise/shock to other people. One friend's reaction (or rather lack of it) is upsetting me a bit and I'm trying not to dwell on it too much because I have to concentrate on lifting my mood, but I'm just not sure what to do.
Maybe I shouldn't have been so hasty to tell people when I'm still trying to get over it - it's just that I feel I owe my friends some sort of explanation why I've been AWOL and distant.
Sorry this is turning into a bit of a waffle!! Any advice for me?

Babynovice - I know all about the days passing you by bit! Don't worry, think about you, others will have to like it or lump it iykwim.

With regards to the mixed reactions - i think people don't truely know what to say or do for the best if they have had no experience of pnd. What would you have said to someone else say a few years ago?

i realise this can be upsetting especially when
you say one of friends 'lack' of reaction, people can be very hurtful and your emotions are all heightened at this time - give them time to absorb the information I think.
This is one of the reasons I don't want to tell people because I do think unless you have been there the are reactions of ignorance which I could do without right now.

You also said the news is old to you but really you are still coming to terms with it becasue you took the brave step of asking for help and receiving it which I know was much needed but you've gone it alone for so long struggling along.
I don't think you are going to wake up one day and suddenly feel 'today is a good day' I think You will probably realise that maybe something which would have really upset you before maybe doesn't feel quite so bad and you just cope better on a daily basis better than before.

Yes, dh and I were frazzled earlier but it was fine as soon as the boys went to bed. They just pushed our buttons yesturday but whats new eh! i'm fine and shouldn't write just becasue I was having a moment! Silly cow

Morning all!

BN - like Sax says mixed reactions from people are to be expected. I had a few people say "Oh god me too, but I couldn't tell anyone!"... but I also had people say "och you just need a good night out!"

It's all just about knowledge. People who have never suffered from depression of any sort seriously believe that all you need is a bit of cheering up. Go see a funny film or a stand-up comedian and all will be right in the world!

But don't be disheartened by those negative reactions or dismissive attitudes. In reality it will eventually dawn on them (if you're a persistant cow like me {grin}) that this is an illness and in your case most likely hormonal. EVERY woman knows what its like to have PMT.... so explain it like that, but 100 times worse....and constant too. The more you explain it to other people, the more understanding you will have and the more control you'll feel.

hi, feel shit....just lost my rag with DT....am at home again due to big twin getting chicken pox. He has it 10 times worse than his brother. Over the weekend all he did was grizzle, so we fed him and left him to it, needed his sleep. However, at home with him on my own, trying to work with him bleating in my ear. He is getting better so had a fews smiles out of him, but I was trying to cuddle him and he kept struggling, so I shouted at him to stop fighting me....I mean really shouted and he properly cried after that.

I just feel numb, been really short tempered a lot recently....like if I bang my head on something I flip out and punch whatever it was and yell some obsenity.....if I drop something, I pick it up and fling it across the room.

I really feel like I'm turning into my mother, she used to really yell at me and my sister all the time, never swore just yelled and of course we are of the generation where smacking was OK, so had many a hand print on my backside.

I really didn't want to be her with my kids, but I'm exactly the same - what will I be like when they are bigger and being properly naughty....I think I'm dangerous and shouldn't have kids.

hey, where'd everybody go?

Sorry Meeely2, we ARE still here! How are you feeling today? It sounded like you were having a nightmare day yesterday.....hopefully things were not so bad today. You mentioned that you're feeling short-tempered alot these days - if you feel like your general mood is going downhill, like if your bad days outnumber your good days, then please talk to someone about it. Are you worried about how you've been feeling?

Seems like it's been a quiet day and I've not missed much chat. Thanks Sax and QF for your advice, I'm still pondering a bit too much about what I think people may or may not be thinking about me just now but like you say they will have to like it or lump it. I'm seeing the GP tomorrow, I guess she will want to know how the ADs are going.....still can't quite believe I'm having to take them. Hmmm, I think I'm going to go to my bed now before I start my 'oh my God I'm on Prozac' thoughts!
Talk to you all soon, hope everything OK

Meeely2 - sorry to hear you had a bad day, I'm here again! Hows things today?

don't worry about it, we all shout at times and regret it bitterly after thinking they didn't deserve it, its not surprising with the pressures of bringing them up! Is dt still very grissly, hows the chicken pox?
I know the angry feeling and being short tempered, I am the same but it makes it twice as hard to stop before losing it and taking stock of the situation and keeping it all in perspective eh!
Don't ever think you are dangerous and shouldn't have kids, you are just having a bad time and you will get through it and enjoy them again.
Let us know how you are doing today, sorry I wasn't there for you when you posted.
BN hows things? is you mum still with you??

I've not shouted today....cried a lot this morning, but Edwards been mint today so couldn't get angry if I tried.

Been absorbed in the London incident this morning...

Well done for not shouting today (I haven't either but then the boys are out of control most of the time so I should be exerting more authority really - just can't be arsed LOL).
Its good to hear you are crying - you obviously are needing to release those emotions - good for you girl

And yes, we've been absorbed with the news too. I think my Mum expects me to be telepathic cos she rung up to say no one would care if she was dead becasue she was on the train to Kings Cross st when it happened but only got as far as Waterloo - however I was unaware she had an appointment in London today - so couldn't really say much. I'm fed up with these self centred people in my life - but I think thats what I'm being atm!

TOOTHACHE - WE MISS YOU - ARE YOU OK???????? and in case Gossifer is around too please come and see us over here - cool!

bump for Sax.
Are you around?

Here BN but I know you won't be now! Thanks for the email, it was lovely. xx

WHERES TOOTHACHE/QUEENFLOUNCE - COME BACK PLEASE!!!xxxx miss you!

WHERES OUR GOSSIFER THEN?????

I'm back!
My home PC has all but died and I was off work yesterday .... ahem... sick.

(read: off for an interview then sunbathing.)

How are we all doing? Has the heat tipped us all over the edge yet?

Hiya Toothache, not a good weekend I have to confess but I've pretty much downloaded my life on the 'I'm having a wobble' thread and people very kindly listened which I am very grateful for!
Good to see you back and I've found Goss too which was really nice too.

Hmmm - odd one today, DH and I fell out on sunday night and I slept in the spare room, nowt said yesterday but he was an angel last night. Divorce was mentioned and insult after insult was thrown, we both said a lot of stuff we shouldn't have, although in hindsight maybe it was a good thing. It got a lot of stuff out that I've been storing up and probably that he's been storing up too, but it's horrid when you find new stuff out about yourself in the midst of a row.

Today though, even though I woke up in a good mood, I shouted at Arthur as he was screaming so much - turns out he had wind, poor little thing, but the screaming was blood curdling and made me go hot and my pulse start racing and I just had to be louder than he was being.

DH is being OK today, we are planning our trip to my mums at the weekend, however we have absolutely no money til payday (25th), so petrol etc is going on credit card and I think it's stressing him out. Plus it's my birthday on friday and he can't afford to get me anything.

Money or lack of can so nearly ruin many relationships, it's horrid, why do we have to struggle so, why isn't government help based on your outgoings as well as your income. DH and I get £100 a month towards childcare which costs £900, great! Just because on paper we look like we have a big disposable income - not so, we lived to our means before the boys arrived and now the outgoings have doubled if not more, why isn't that taken into account.

Anyway, whinge over...

Sax? QF? Gossifer? BN? how are well all?

Meeeley2 - I've just read your lovely post to lowandblue and it seems you are feeling perhaps worse than you've admitted to us here. I'm so sorry you've spiralled down but you mention you are taking yourself off to the GP for some support.
Well done you and please let us know how you get on won't you.
We are here to support you and hope you get the help from the gp you need. I think you should be proud of yourself for making the appointment and asking for help.
All the best and I hope your dh is a little more understanding.

Sax xx

BTW Meeeley, not sure if you realise but QF is Toothache!!!!!!!! so she's returned to us Thank God.